cake「 mark 」

15

"i'm sorry i spray painted 'an asshat lives here' on your garage door." 

"wow... whoever this is, they really like fucking with their friends."

"what's wrong with fucking your friends?"

"um, that's not what i said, but-"

"you act like we've never-"

"i thought we agreed never to speak of that."

"well, you know what? no. i wanna know why you're being so weird about friends fucking when it's totally natural if both are consenting adults and-"

"we were young and impressionable, jackson! stop bringing it up!"

awkward silence.

".... if it makes you feel any better, you were the best sex i ever had."

"yeah, well, you were the worst."

"now, i know that's some bullshit. check out these pectorals, son."

"you're the reason i'm straight."

"i have feelings too, marcus!"