Monochrome: Waking Dawn

Chapter 12: My Hope, My Dream, My Angel

Russia, 1567

                   As it was snowing really hard, coldness struck the atmosphere and damp air was felt. I saw an angel in my midst. Unfortunately, she was facing someone else- my elder brother. She was amazing. I wanted to touch her hand and talk to her. I wanted to see her smile right in front of me- to see her stress- relieving comfort. Oh what a dream it would be but all of those were not for me. As I watched in a distance, my brother Gabril talked to this lady. He was injured from the snow storm that hit the area he was supposed to go to. Our parents asked him to go out to get some firewood in the forest but he got struck hard y the wind so he couldn’t get up. Luckily, an angel saved him. He never knew I was following him all this time. Even with the wrath of the snow, I continued to lurk at him and caught him with someone. I just watched. As I did, I only heard the name of that person- Glacey. I wanted to go near her but I know I’ll fail so I didn’t continue. As she was saying goodbye to my brother, I wrote the words: Ангел моей мечты which means “ the angel of my  dreams” on the tree beside me. I knew we would meet again. And I hope this time, she would see me as me and not my brother, as everyone did.

          Everyone expected me to be like Gabril- wise, kind-hearted and all other good stuffs there is about him. Sadly, I had my own personality, and I didn’t want to change just because people wanted me to. I was me- the best part. Every day of my life I would go to that place where the angel had her descent. I believed I would see her. 20 years later, 6 years after the death of Gabril, I went there, and for the last time, I touched the carved areas of the tree in which I wrote those words of mine.

          My last words: If life isn’t willing to give me the chance to see you, then may death be my hope in fulfilling that wish.

          Then, I fell. I had the same sickness as my brother- Leukemia. I knew I was going to die. I knew life was ending for me. But I wasn’t concerned of that. I was concerned of not getting to see that person - of not fulfilling my goal. At least, that was what I thought. 

           When I finally get to meet my guardian, Oblivia, she told me:

          “Aren’t you happy? You passed the test to Queen Minna’s castle! You’re going to see her soon!”

          “What’s the rush? It’s nothing special.”

          “What? Nothing special? But why?”

          I was supposed to answer but my dog-tag kind of necklace fell. So, Oblivia picked it up. As she looked at what was written on the necklace, she looked at me.

          “You—you know Glacey?”

          My eyes awoke.

          “Wait, you know her? Where is she? How’s she doing?”

          “She lives in the Queen’s Kingdom. She’s the Guardian of Ice and the Antarctic.”

          “Why didn’t you say so?”

          “Why didn’t you ask?”

          There was a bit of a misunderstanding but we laughed anyway. So, we ran all the way to the Kingdom. When I went there, I saw her- Glacey. She was as beautiful as ever. But, even in death, she was still beside the person I saw back- Gabril. Well, he changed his name to Blaze. I wanted to cry but before I knew it, he held me in his arms.

          “Bro! Long time no see! So, how have you been doing? How’s life?”

          I looked down.

          “What’s the matter?” he asked.

          “Nothing, really.”

          “By the way, this is my best friend, Glacey Chris.”

          Before I could even introduce myself, she placed her hand on my right cheek and said:

          “My, my Blaze. He’s cute! Cuter than you that is!”

          “Stop trying to compare us!”

          “Haha! I’m sorry.”

          It was my heaven. Happiness filled every inch of my body. This is it. This is my goal- fulfilled! Well, not quite. The story doesn’t end there.

          When Queen Minna blessed me, she said:

          “You’re Blaze’s younger brother aren’t you? I should make you his partner guardian!”

          It was done. I was also a guardian of Flames. It wasn’t really good news. I never knew what I was aiming for. Every day, I would go with my brother, who is, with Glacey. I would see them both laughing and when she sees me out of place, she would call out my name. But, I would always say the same words over and over: “I’m fine.”- The greatest lie of the world. I was always crushed inside. When I and my bro were still alive, I was always compared to him. He was considered a genius, the best sibling, the one who have mastered the instruments and everything else. I hated it. Though, I still love my brother because it’s not his fault. But, I never expected that the girl of my dreams would be his too.

          I never knew who I am and what my true place in this world is. First, I was only related to him because we’re brothers. But, in terms of ability, I was nothing compared to him. Second, I was made a guardian because I’M HIS BROTHER. Third, I was always protected, because I’m the youngest Guardian. I didn’t know what I was until now. So, this is the always the question I asked:

          “Why am I alive if my sole purpose relies on someone else? Why am I always seen as pathetic regardless of my abilities?”

          But, I knew… no one would dare to care about my damn question. Everything I know is an illusion.