first love | m.yoongi

37

[soojin's pov:]

"are you okay? you seem out of it," jimin softly said.

i sat there at the table at the window thinking to myself before i turned my attention to jimin who gave me a small smile.

"sorry.. just distracted."

"what's wrong? tell me."
"it's nothing really," i softly said.
"i don't believe that."
"i promise. there's nothing wrong."

he eyed me a bit longer before speaking up. "sure..."

i looked out the window. ever since that day, yoongi never talked to me, never texted me back. it felt like i was completely empty. i didn't know what the reason was for that but i just... didn't feel right at all. i still had him in my contacts but i never bothered to text him. i was afraid that i was too harsh on him that day. he probably doesn't even want to talk to me.

"it's that yoongi guy, isn't it?" jimin's voice suddenly asked. i looked at him in surprise.

"n-no. it's not."
"you're lying again..."

i looked at him and saw the seriousness in his eyes. so i gave a small sigh.

"it's like... something feels empty inside of me. i don't feel right. i feel like i just made a really huge mistake... something that would bother me later," i softly began to say.

"i talked to taehyung. i asked him about yoongi myself," he said, "soojin, do you really not remember him?"

my lips were parted slightly as i looked at jimin.

"no matter how hard i try to remember, i can't. everytime i try to think on his name, my head just begins hurting."
"maybe try to beat the pain. and about that one day... when i took you out, i just want to apologize."
"no, please don't apologize. it wasn't your fault," i told him quickly.

"it is. i didn't know he was really your boyfriend until my friend taehyung had told me," jimin explained.

"how can yoongi be my boyfriend?"
"maybe you just have to think harder," jimin softly said.

"but everytime i think harder about him, my head begins to hurt."
"push through the pain... think even deeper. think about everything."
"i can't... it hurts," i softly said.

"look... no matter what happens, i know you're a strong girl. think harder..."

i pursed my lips together as i looked around the place. just at the corner of my eye, i looked towards the row of toilet papers. and the most freakishly weird thing had happened. i remember carrying a package of toilet papers in my hand as i walked out the convenience store. i turned to look at the window and see myself in front of another body figure. it was a guy but i couldn't see his face.

my head began to throb painfully, but i pushed through. and then i saw his bruised face. i saw yoongi's bruised face. it was the night i found out he was being abused by his father, and it was the night he slept at my house.

"soojin... soojin-ah. soojin-ah!"

i snapped out of the flashback i had before i stood up to my feet.

"what have i done?" i softly whispered to myself as i stared outside.

"what happened?" jimin suddenly asked.

"i'm sorry jimin. i have to find yoongi," i quickly said. "i'll see you later!" i shouted before rushing out the store. i remembered it all now. i remembered everything.

i quickly ran down the street as fast as i could. on the way, i dialed yoongi's number onto my phone.

"we're sorry, but the number you have just reached is not available right now. please try again later or leave a message at the beep."

i continued to run but come to a stop at the stoplight where cars passed. i tried calling yoongi again after some billion times when finally he picked up.

"yoongi! where are you?!" i asked.

"before you say anything, i just want to say that i'm sorry, and i do forgive you. i know it's only because of your loss of memory that you don't remember me. but i made a promise. and i promise that i would help you remember everything," he said softly.

"yoongi, where are you?" i asked, before the green light turned red. i quickly walked past the street and ran down once more.

"i... i was going to go to your house," he softly said. i ran some more coming up the street that my house was on before i saw a figure walking just across the street. it was him.

i ran and i ran as fast as my legs could carry me when an incoming car suddenly came speeding at him. my heart beated fast as i pushed my legs even farther.

"YOONGI!" i screamed. the distance between us closed in as he slowly turned around to see me running at him. but before he could say anything, i ran and pushed him aside, away from the incoming car that was now speeding at me. miles became feets, which then became even fewer feet between me and the car.

the last thing i do, as i see yoongi laid on the ground where i pushed him away, was close my eyes and listened to the sound of screeching tires.

"SOOJIN-AH!!" he screamed.

i expected pain to be thrashing everywhere on my body but it never came. i closed my eyes shut tightly and had my hands held over my ears tightly as well that i didn't even notice my legs become like spaghetti and the tears just kept spilling.

the sound of a car door opening was made and a worried voice asked, "oh my god, are you okay?"

i fell to my knees as i heard my name being called out from his mouth a few times. his presence came before me as he placed he hands on the sides of my head but i kept my eyes shut tightly for i was too afraid to open them. instead, i sobbed loudly and cried a tremendous amoung of tears.

"soojin-ah, don't cry! look at me!" yoongi's voice said as he shook me.

but i shook my head as i cried out. "no, no. i'm dead!"

"look at me! LOOK AT ME!" yoongi cried out. i could hear the shakiness of breath in his voice, as if it was about to break down as well.

i forced myself to open my eyes. but when i did, the tears blurred my vision slightly as i saw yoongi in front of me.

"don't you ever do that again!! do you hear me?! don't ever scare me like that," his voice began to break. and before i knew it, the tears fell from his eyes and down his cheeks.

"y-yoongi... i r-remember n-now," i cried, "i-i remember e-everything."

he pulled me into a long, tight hug as i buried my face onto his chest. "don't cry."

"p-please forgive m-me," i cried.

"don't. don't apologize," yoongi cried along with me. "i knew you would remember."

i pulled away slowly as he kept his hands at the sides of my face, wiping away the wet tears that fell down my cheeks. hiccuping and crying softly, his lips pressed against mine as we shared a kiss right then and there.

and the familiar feeling of his lips against mine clicked inside of me even more. it was my boyfriend who i had forgotten. it was yoongi who i had forgot. but now, everything has changed. i remember everything, and most of all i remember him.

"yoongi-ah... i love you."

~~~~~~~~
heh. and there's the alternative ending for you guys. thanks for reading!