first love | m.yoongi

02

[soojin's pov:]

last night, i couldn't help think but think about what happened after school yesterday. i mean even though he was quite attractive (i won't even lie), he was rude. i did tell him he could stay, but he left instead.

during the car ride to school, i kept quiet and thought about it more as i looked out the window in the passenger seat. my mother seemed to have notice since she suddenly spoke up. "you seem so quiet this morning," she said as we came to a stoplight.

i tore my eyes away from the outside and looked straight at my mother. "mm, just tired. that's all," i softly said. "oh, well, make sure to eat breakfast at school, to give you energy."

i gave a small chuckle as i still looked at her. "mom? don't you ever think of dating again?" i asked softly. the stoplights suddenly turned green before my mother could speak. so she stepped on the gas. she didn't say anything at first, making the atmosphere awkward.

"you don't have to answer if you don't wa---"

"no. i don't ever think of dating," she softly said, adding a small smile at the end of her response.

"but why? you'd be happy, and you could have a man to treat you right," i quickly said.

"i'm already happy now. i have all that i need. you."

i sat there silently and pouted. sometimes, i wonder why she's got to do that. she puts me in a state where i could get easily emotional. i wanted to say some things back but i just didn't know how to. i guess i could say i'm not a girl with many words.

the next five minutes, my mother pulled up at the parking lot of the school and parked the car. i unbuckled my seatbelt and looked at my mother before giving a smile. "i love you mom. even though i don't say it a lot, i do," i softly said. she gave me a soft smile, "i love you too, soojin. i love you a lot," pulling me into a caressing hug. "okay, go before you become late," she chuckled pulling away from our mother/daughter hug.

i scoffed and laughed softly as i got out the car, swinging my backpack onto my shoulder and waved goodbye. then i quickly entered the school, seeing so many students wander the hallways. i tried my best to dodge them and i guess you could say that went well.

suddenly, i was shoved at my shoulder. "sorry," i said not even bothering to turn around to see the person's face. i continued walking towards my homeroom class when i saw it just a few feets away. and just when i thought everything was going well.

"hey, ugly. what do you think you're doing? you can't step foot into class unless i do first," Seoyul sternly said. i roll my eyes slightly and then look at her, "since when was that ever a rule?"

"ever since i made it," seoyul snickered, "what are you going to do, huh? going to say something?"

"just stop it seoyul-ah," i said back, my fists balling up. seoyul gave a out a reckless laugh, "or what? go on!"

i stared at her, the anger boiling inside of me. ever since i came to high school, seoyul has always tried her best to just hate me. she would do all sorts of the worst towards me and i seriously had enough of it.

"i said, go on!" she gritted her teeth as she glared at me. she brought up her hand and shoved at my shoulder as i stumbled back just a step. seoyul gave another chuckle, "look at hopeless you are. come on, soojin-ah. what are you going to do?"

giving another smirk, she shoved me once more, only this time a bit harder. "quite pushing me around!" i angrily said to her. by this point, a crowd of students began watching us.

"omo, look at them."

"wow, this is seriously great!"

"aww, what's soojin going to do? are you going to go call your mom?" seoyul gave an unsensable chuckle, "it's no wonder why your dad left. you aren't worth their time. you're just worthless. why don't you just get that into your tiny little head?" seoyul started to say.

"just shut up, seoyul! out of all the people you choose to pick on, you choose me. i'm tired of it!" i replied angrily to her. as if that wasn't enough, seoyul stared at me with fiery eyes and came to lunge out at me when suddenly another voice boomed over us.

"why are you people so loud."

my eyes turned to see the owner of the person's voice. i had stopped dead in my tracks to see it was the same guy i had saw in the music room yesterday. he had the same annoyed expression on his face but twice as what he looked like yesterday.

"aish," i managed to hear him mumble under his breath. he looked at seoyul in front of me and trailed his eyes back at me. i could feel my breathing stop at one point as his icy stare pierced through me.

seoyul scoffed. "you! mind your own business!"

the guy took his stare off of me and looked at seoyul. the crowd of students were silent and so was i. just looking at him made me feel slightly uncomfortable. slowly, he walked towards her and stopped when he was just inches away. "i don't think you're in the position to tell me what to do, kang seoyul," he said in such a serious tone.

he must have shut her up good because she didn't say anything at that point. she only just stared at him. i was internally cheering for i thought he was helping me, but boy, was i wrong.

he suddenly turned and looked at me. "it's too loud, so if you're going to do this, do it outside."

that was the last time he ever talked, before he walked past us and left the scene. seoyul let out a scoff and looked annoyed. "who does that guy think he is?"

when his presence was gone, i could suddenly move. i looked at seoyul and gave a slight roll of my eyes, but made sure she didn't see it. instead of going to class, i walked away. i went ahead and walked to the music room.

it was dark so i looked for the switch and flipped on one set of lights just enough for lightness to consume the room. and like that i was alone again. just when i couldn't keep it in anymore, i felt the wet tears trickle down my cheeks. i closed my eyes and sat down at the floor and i cried softly to myself.

she's right. i am worthless.