>this story will be told from Merlin's POV<
"Thank You."
NO. NO NO NO NO NO ARTHUR NO YOU CANNOT DO THIS.
I clutched my boyfriend's body and screamed.
"No. Arthur. no no no this can't be real this can't be happening."
My screams turned to sobs as I leaned over, our faces almost touching. My tears graced his face making it look as though he was crying as well.
But he wasnt, I was the only one there, clutching the lifeless body of a man and crying as if the world had ended. In a way it had, my world at least.
There had to be something I could do. Anything. I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes, trying to focus.
I muttered every spell I could think of that would save the situation. Afterwards I sat staring expectantly at his body, but nothing happened.
No. Maybe I hadn't said them right. I tried again, and again, and again, but still he did not awaken, did not move, did not even breath. He was really gone.
I didn't accept this. I reached out my hand patted his face as if I could pull him from death with a simple touch. He would not come back. I could not help him.
I stared down at Arthur, lying in my lap, eyes closed almost like he was sleeping. The tears rolled faster and faster down my face but I stayed silent. This had to be some bizarre dream. I've had dreams just like this before but never this... real.
Of course I knew in my heart of hearts that this was completely real.
Not knowing what else to do, I brushed the stray blond hairs off his forhead and leaned all the way down, placing a gentle tear soaked kiss to his soft lips. They weren't warm like they had usually been. They were just cold, and soft, and weak.
I pulled up just far enough to whisper "goodbye Arthur" then lay my head on his chest, remembering all the times I had done this when I could hear his steady strong heart, pumping away. I cursed myself for taking all those times for granted.
I stayed there for who knows how long. At one point I think I may have dropped off into a restless sleep but reawakened by nightmares then finding myself in an even worse nightmare. Except this one wasn't a dream.
By the time the sun had begun to come up I decided that I needed to do something. The thought of sending him off meant completely letting him go and that thought was horrid to me.
But it was what had to be done, and as his servant, and his boyfriend, I was the one to have to do it.
I stood and shook the grass out of my hair then reached down. Arthur seemed much lighter since the last time I had carried him.
I held him the way a groom holds his bride as they walk through the threshold.
I walked, I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I didn't stop, I didn't think. I just kept going forward as if stopping meant all the emotions would catch up to me and I wouldn't be able to continue.
The only time I spoke was when we hit a bump or I stumbled slightly and that was just to apologize to this body that used to be my greatest friend.
Eventually we made it to the lake. I gently lay Arthur down on a patch of wild flowers and set to work.
With magic I carved a boat, big enough that he could lie comfortably and still have room. I then moved into a grove of trees near more flowers and began to pick as many as I could, when my arms were full I would go back and dump them in the boat then go back for more. I still did not stop moving.
I would not rest.
When I had put enough flowers in the boat to make a soft bed I took a deep breath and went back to where Arthur lay.
I stared down at him. A single tear escaped my eye but I refused to let others follow. There was work to be done.
I leaned back down and lifted him in my arms then carried him to the boat. I slowly put him in it, on top of the flowers, and arranged them to where they framed his body.
I used the magic to clean the blood off of his wounds and armor then stared down once again at my work.
I could not stop for long though.
I slowly pushed the boat into a waist deep part of the lake and stood next to it, holding it in place.
I looked down at Arthur. He still looked as though he was sleeping.
I took a shakey breath and leaned down to kiss him one last time. Then with a squeeze of his hand and a brush of his forehead I sent him off.
I then let my tears fall freely. I made the final move. He was now gone. My world was gone.
He was never coming back.
And perhaps, that was the day we both died. Only I had to keep on living.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah yeah yeah ik this is no where near accurate but what ever. Anyway feel free to comment and tell me what you think because this is my first Merthur and I want to know of I'm doing it the right way.
Thanks!
-F
