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❀ E V A ❀
Sometimes I wonder if there really is someone up there.
I mean, everybody talks about God, and how big and powerful he is, how his only son turned water to wine, how God loves everyone no matter what wrong they did, and of how he is as merciful as he is forgiving.
But, if he is all of those things, if he's that powerful, then how come there are so many people suffering? How come there are such things as drought, poverty, rape, abuse and human trafficking? How come there can never be a day without terrorist attacks, or major thefts, or even slavery?
How come the worst things happen to the best people?
I know that in other people's eyes Evelyn is nothing more than a problem. To them, she's nothing more than the poster child of the teenager you don't want your child to grow up to be. But she's much more than that. So much more. But we're all too blind to see it.
Granted, we try to see it from her point of view. Try to put ourselves in her shoes, Charlie and I. But sometimes it's so hard that I just get fed up, and I stop trying to be that chipper mom that everybody needs me to be.
There's a blond girl sitting with us in the waiting room. She's a friend - or semi-friend, as she put it since she and Evelyn don't know each other well - of Evelyn's, and she's extremely pretty. I didn't know that she and Landon and Aisha were friends with Evelyn. I didn't even know Evelyn had friends, period. She didn't talk about them. But it's nice to know that there are people out there who also care about her enough to be emotional about the accident, and they care enough to rush to her aid.
Every time I hear the word accident, I think of my baby girl. The doctor said she was - or is - in critical condition. She has internal bleeding, a hairline fracture, heart problems and possibly brain damage, which could lead to death. Every single one of those words bounces around my brain, and the word death is enough to trigger me, and I just burst into tears.
Right now I've run out of tears. My eyes are dry, and my nose is red. No matter how much water I drink, my throat permanently remains parched, and I know it'll stay that way until I hear news from the doctor on Evelyn's current state.
"You okay?" Charlie whispers in my ear, rubbing his thumb over my hand in soothing circles.
I shake my head, taking in a shaky breath. "No, b-but I'm trying to be," I murmur, staring at the white wall that leads down to the dreaded room where they're keeping my daughter.
"Eva, you don't need to be strong for anyone. We're all hurting inside, and I know that feeling won't pass until we know that Evelyn is alright. And it isn't your fault. I know you blame yourself for the accident, but you weren't the one who was driving. So let it all out, love. Let it all out, and don't try to hold it in, because no one needs you to be strong in this moment."
