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✯ E V E L Y N ✯
Die.
Why did Jesse choose you?
Is it true you murdered your twin brother?
Did you like the poems I wrote?
You're nothing but an ugly bitch who can't do anything but spread her legs for random guys.
Whore.
Slut.
I switch off my phone, shoving it to the bottom of my bag.
∞
The urge to drop dead is so overwhelming. I want to die. I want someone to blow me up. I want to drown myself. I want to shoot myself in the chest. I want to starve to death. I want to lie on a train track and get hit at the highest speed. I want to jump in front of a moving bus. I want to jump off a cliff and plummet to my death.
I want to die.
I found a dead bird in my locker this morning. I opened my locker and there it was. It was in a bag, but it did nothing to disguise the rotten smell. I tossed it in the nearest bin - not a smart move but I had to dispose of it - and threw up in the girls' restroom. There were only a few people in the locker room but they laughed, and I guess everyone knows by now.
Jesse was there, and he watched from afar with Allen by his side. I could feel Allen's sinister gaze on me, and I think that's what triggered me the most.
I snap my journal shut, slipping it under my Trig books. The teacher walks past, and I scribble something random to make it seem as if I'm working. There's a light murmur of voices around the room, and the teacher whose name I can never remember sits back in her seat, turning to bury her nose in a math book.
My nails drag across the surface of my skin, tracing over the scars that decorate the length of my arm like bracelets. Ever since I first started cutting I've made it a point of wearing long sleeved tops or multiple wristbands to cover up the scars.
I need to do something to relieve the persistent feeling to cut my skin. My heart rate is accelerated, and I constantly feel like I can't breathe when I can. I dig my nails into my skin and run them downwards. I wish my nails were sharper to draw blood. It only leaves red marks on my skin.
I continue doing this until the bell rings for my next class. It feels as if I'm walking in a dream, everything foggy and unclear as I go through the halls. I can see people glancing at me, but I don't pay them any mind. I just need to get to my next class.
