Chapter 5
Nadine's POV
We'd just walked out of out first meeting regarding the Coldplay show. It was over silly things really, like how long our set would go for or what songs that wanted us to play.
... Okay so not silly things, but things I wasn't really interested at discussing at nine in the morning.
Unlike myself though, Nicola seemed particularly interested in all the finer details. I think that's why I felt as though I never had to deal with it, because I could always count on Nicola to have taken care of it. She was amazing like that.
I had woken up that morning feeling a little bit worse for wear. Feeling a little bit overwhelmed by my conversation with Nicola the night before. It hadn't changed anything, I was still worried about her. It also showed me how honestly unhappy I had been lately with Jason, maybe we needed to take a break.
But there was one thing in particular that was on my mind. When I waked downstairs this morning I found a ready made breakfast and my boyfriend in an intense discussion with my bandmate.
I could tell by their reaction when I'd entered the room that they didn't want me knowing what they had been discussing.
Nicola had headed back upstairs to dress for our meeting while I sat down to breakfast.
"Why did you do all of this?" I asked curiously. Although Jason was quite business-minded and liked things to be organised, he wasn't known for his skills in the kitchen
"It's just a piece offering" he shrugged off "for walking out on you the other night, I"m really sorry, baby". He walked behind where I was seated and placed a kiss on the back of my head.
Usually I wouldn't have minded these little affectionate gestures, but when it was coming from a place of guilt on his part it just didn't feel right. It didn't feel right because normally he would just apologise and we would move along, and really, he wouldn't have acted like he had in the first place.
I pushed these thoughts aside, not wanting to dwell on the issues. Deciding to play along I asked "why don't you join me for breakfast then?".
"I can't" he told me, "there are a few errands I need to run today". The possibility of enjoying a breakfast alone with him had sounded good, maybe it would've put some of my insecurities at rest. But it just brought more.
What was he doing? And what were they talking about?
"Nadine... Nadine!" I heard Nicola shout to me, bringing me out of my thoughts about this morning.
"Are you alright?" She asked me, sounding a mix of genuinely worried and annoyed.
"I'm fine..." I told her, hoping that I again hadn't done anything to annoy her.
"Are you sure about that?", she was definitely annoyed "you spent the entire meeting acting distracted and disinterested, do you even want to do the show?".
"Of course I do!" I told her forcefully. I tried to gauge for her reaction.
"Then why don't you ever give your opinion when it comes to these things? It's always left to the rest of us".
I didn't quite understand where she was coming from. I knew it did bother her that I wasn't always so on point with the business side of things as her and perhaps some the other girls. She didn't know that sometimes the fact that she knew exactly what she wanted intimidated me, and I was jealous that she was able to just go after whatever she wanted without a second thought, I jus couldn't be that way.
"Because there is no need for me to be when you do it so well" I felt myself say before I could stop.
"What do you mean?" She asked, seemingly taken aback by my little outburst of honestly.
I took in a long shaky breath, digging for a little more courage in order to be able to answer her honestly.
"Sometimes I don't see the need to express my thoughts, you and the other girls just take charge all of the time and that's fine, I just don't think my opinion is so valued" I sighed.
Nicola paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts "of course it's valued, we're a team. You, me and the girls... We're a unit and you're no less part of that than any of us are".
She reached for me, wrapped her arms lightly around me and pulling my body against hers. Relief washed over me, I couldn't be more glad that she understood, that she wasn't upset with me.
This hug lasted longer than I think any I'd ever shared with Nicola, and I didn't want it to end. I felt safe with her. Wrapped in her arms it was like the rest of the world just paused for a moment.
I instantly felt saddened when it ended and the reality of my thought process hit me when I looked her in the eyes. I'd never been this close with Nicola before, sharing my insecurities and feeling as though our friendship was real. I didn't however understand why it made me feel so good.
She just looked at me, bright blue eyes boring into mine and it sent shivers down my spine. I looked away from her, trying to mask the physical shivers that I was feeling.
"Okay, why don't we head back to mine?" I asked, needing this silence to end.
"No we can't" she told me, a grin moving across her face "We should go out, spend the rest of the day together and I think I have the perfect place in mind for us".
Before I could object in any way, Nicola had taken ahold of my hand and was now pulling me towards the car the had been hired for her stay. If I didn't know better I'd say she was acting a little odd, just as Jason had been earlier this morning.
The weirdness between her and my boyfriend was not the top concern on my mind right now. My concerns revolved around the tensions that had grown between Nicola and I over these past few days, maybe it was only on my part because it didn't seem to bother her.
The weirdest part was I couldn't tell you if this new intensity was a bad thing or a good thing. It was an intensity that didn't feel bad, it didn't make things awkward of uncomfortable. I needed to stop over thinking things because it felt good, I'm sure it was what sent shivers down my spine, that made me want to spend more time with her, I guess for this afternoon I was getting my way.
