don't wanna cry// mingyu

six

   you know that moment where you want to hurt someone back but couldn't? that situation particularly was too hard for yerim to control by herself because, well, mingyu had such an impact on her.
       such an impact, to the point she would always be forgiving towards him and always        allowing him to talk behind her.
        
he talked behind her quite frequently and every single day, it would always be a different topic. literally anything and everything. from the way she walked, acted, performed and generally, things that made them unsatisfied about her.

"hey mingyu! how are you doing, man?"

yerim turned her head so quickly towards them that she could hear bones cracking.
"i am just fine actually. happier than i could ever imagine! hey, want to continue at the back canteen? it's more private there. let's go!"

happier than he ever imagined?  does this mean he moved on?
more privacy? is it to talk about me again?
tch, such excuses.

like any other day, she was to walk alone to the bus stop by herself. she knew and she was definitely sure by the fact that mingyu was desperately trying to avoid from boarding the same bus as her. i mean, come on, why was he suddenly sitting at the very front instead of his usual seat?

she boarded the bus regardless of that, plugged in her headphones and look outside the window as the bus moved. she didn't know what to feel. she didn't know what to do because it was a choice for her; to end the friendship or get back together.

if she actually decided to end the friendship, it would be taking a long time for her to actually move on. bestfriend for 8 years. how hard could it be to actually forget him?

if she decided to continue the friendship, she had to make the first move. she knew that mingyu would not even care about all these things because it might appear as something ridiculous to him.

she kept thinking to herself that everyone was much luckier than her. that everyone was having a better time than her. that everyone was enjoying life and no one was suffering.

all she could do was to hold back tears because she definitely don't want other passengers to think strangely of her.

and all she could do was to face down to the ground, trying to accept everything.

why? why did i even be friends with them?