Love Hope In Batanes

the letter.

We finally get back to the Philippines to shoot the remaining scenes of our movie. I finally got the guts to send a message to her. It was after I had a little chat with Sandy or Dara,as her fans call her. She had a cameo role in our movie, and I asked her about Kpop, but of course, it was just a camouflage. As expected, my questions lead me to asking about Seph or should I say Amber.

Sandy and Amber is not totally close, but she told me everything she knew about her. And I was more than satisfied to know that she is known to be playful, and not a player. It takes all my paranoia away about her.

That very night, I wrote the message. I typed my thoughts out. I didn't reread it until I finished it. I just said what is on my mind and heart at that moment. When I'm done, I was shocked at how long I wrote. I didn't expect it to turn out to be an essay!
It could passed as a story in a drama anthology already!

‘ should I also  send this to Ma'am Charo? ’ I smiled at my silly mind as I pressed the send button.

I was full of hope at that time, when I typed:

For the record... I still mean the words I told you during our last day together in the island.

"I need you baby" and....

"I love you too"

I readied my self to wait. I know she's busy so she probably don't have much time to read her ‘fans’ messages. But just after I re-logged in, my worry heart was changed into excitement as my sight landed at the bottom of the message and it says : Read

I was happy, hopeful and excited for her reply.

but then, the excitement slowly fades away as time passed but I still didn't get my much awaited reply. I'm still happy and hopeful though.

I'm still happy and hopeful for her reply.

But then my hope was thrown out of the window when the 2 day ultimatum  passed. I contemplated that maybe I should send another message but I should stick to my word, that I don't expect her to reply if she's not Seph, and that I won't bother her anymore after 2 days had passed after the message was marked as Read. I'm still happy though.

I'm still happy that she didn't reply.

I should be happy because that means that all their similarities were just merely coincidence. She's not Seph and I'm wrong. I was wrong with my investigation, and that means, there's a chance that maybe, she's just an ordinary person, and if we get back together, this will be less complicated - because she's NOT Amber. She's not Amber, and I should be happy... But I feel otherwise. And I don't want to feel otherwise.

Weeks, had passed. I didn't bother to open my other account I made specifically to follow Amber. Everything went back to normal I guess. Not when I and Ken guested to a late night talk show for the promotion of our movie. As expected, we had a fit of laughter, with every after jokes were thrown, a certain backdrop music was played. It was a chorus of an EDM song. I felt like I've heard that song before but I just shrugged maybe it was just made by the DJ himself.

I thought it was, but was falsified when its turn for me to do my hosting duties to a Sunday variety show, months after.

The same back drop music was played several times. It hyped us to be more energetic in our spills. And just like its taunting me, when the music was done, I thought, it will play allover again, but no. It played the part where there are really lyrics indeed.

I griped my mic two times tighter when I heard that voice. She said...

‘No chains on my back pain...’

It was a rap part. I barely understand it for I was focused on how similar her voice to the person I should be forgetting right now - Amber.

‘Yes. I should forget her and everything about her. So what if that's her song? She's in the music industry, its normal. ’ I told my self

But when she sings, its like I was betrayed by my own body ... I felt like my knees are getting wobbly by the second as she stopped rapping and sings.

I'm feeling... like the weight's of my shoulders and I could breath again...

My mind is shutting down. As the last person said her spill, I run towards my dressing room.

‘no please not again!’

just when I thought that I already forget about Amber and I already made it clear to myself that she's not my Seph... This happens?

She's not ! She can't be! And I don't want her to be!

After she ignored me?

I feel like there is someone stabbing my chest right now. Its like all the pain and agony that built up through the years is now tempting to escape.

It lead me back again to that day. The day when I confessed to her.

The day of our first kiss in the island, MY first kiss. I was grumbling to explain why I initiate it. I said:

‘I just felt like I should do it, you know, its like I'm holding my breath and when I finally did it, .... Its like the weight was off my shoulders and I could breath again.’

I didn't realized what I was saying until Seph woke me up on my rambling. She said that I could rap better than her.

Now I'm thinking, why I didn't got the hint that she's actually a rapper at that time?

'Because she's not! Maybe she could, but not do it professionally. BECAUSE SEPH IS NOT AMBER' I reminded my self '

But I remembered she also said...

"Hope, you just had a very good freestyle rappin' and I am thinking, it could really be in a lyrics of a song. "

Lyrics of a song? Like what I've heard a while ago? This must be another coincidence right? We can never run out of coincidence right?

A tear left my eyes as I remembered all the songs that Amber sings that reminded me of Seph.

Beautiful
On my own
Need to feel needed

And this song... The one I just heard. Breath again.

Could it really be a coincidence that she sang beautiful and on my own to me in the island, and I even said some parts of the lyrics of the 2 latter songs, before it was written?

Coincidence huh?

Why are they all leading me to Amber?

‘Amber, if you are not Seph, then why? Why did you ignored me?’

~~~~

A/n: next chap sneak peak:

-‘Amber, if you are not Seph, then why? Why did you ignored me?’ I kept  on mentally asking her directly on her eyes. As I stand a meter away from her.

- ‘Eliz, if you are Hope, then why are you looking at me like you are not shocked to finally see me?’

-‘If you are not Seph, then why are you looking at me, as if no one's around watching us?’

-‘if you are Hope, and you knew already that it was me? Why didn't you told me?’

~end of sneak peak~

Just want to tell you guys that I won't be updating for a long time. You'll know it when the next update comes.