from A to Z
by luna valente
(1st pov)
If you asked me about Matteo's feelings and the way he shows them after I have known him for a few days, weeks, I'd say he has only two states. First, when he is fresa just because it's natural for him and second, when he is fresa to hide all other emotions.
I don't know why people find it so hard to get to know him. All you have to do is to look. As we kept growing closer, I kept looking and adding emotions on my list, one by one. Matteo had changed in my eyes, it was slow process, but when I realized it, it hit me all at once.
I was in love with Matteo Balsano.
It's not like you wouldn't, being aware of his every face. It is just his thing, to keep himself hidden. And now, when I discovered thousands of his emotions, I can write them down for you all.
(Some are from time when we weren't dating yet; some are from the time we were already together. There was also that weird transition state between them, so don't get confused. They are in alphabetical order, not chronological!)
ANNOYED
Annoyed Matteo isn't nice thing and it usually pairs up with proud. Let me just explain it with an example.
Example:
"I really can't believe he had done that." Matteo rushed through the Blake's corridor towards me.
"What happened?" I took his hands.
"It's just... I had a fight with Gastón." It wasn't something I expected. "Not some important thing. Just stupid trifle."
"So what do you want to do?"
"What do you mean?" He frowned.
"Like, do you plan making this up or something?" With every word I was getting less sure.
"Are you kidding? He was the one who started the fight." I smacked my forehead.
"Matteo... You are not children anymore."
"Let's give it some time, okay?" I nodded. "Fine. I have to go now, see you later." He kissed my cheek and left me standing there alone.
(((Examples are really helpful! I will keep giving you an example after each one.)))
ANXIOUS
Sometimes even Matteo gets anxious. It's before competitions or before finals, even if he is perfectly prepared. And he always is. He keeps walking around, repeating soundlessly something under his breath. He doesn't listen to any "come on, you know you are ready" and any other words of support. He stays in this state for a few minutes only to switch to confident and annoy me even more.
Example:
I left the changing room just to see him leaning against the wall. He had hurricane in his eyes and I didn't know how I would survive next 30 minutes.
"You know we are really good, Matteo."
"Yeah, but you know, everyone are stressed before competitions."
"You have never been anxious until now. What changed?" He smiled softly.
"Because you've taught me that it's okay to feel weak sometimes."
ARROGANT
I know you all know that Matteo is arrogant. He keeps telling everyone that he is the best/ better than them (choose one). And when they get angry about it, he just smiles charmingly and shrugs.
