Could you carry me back to where we started from?
Luna keeps sitting on little bench with her elbows on her knees and her chin supported by her hand. The skatepark afternoon was great idea even if she doesn't know who got it. She's just watching her boy doing some crazy tricks with a smile on his face.
That smile she hasn't seen really much last days. Matteo seems to be different person recently. He's quick, always hurrying up somewhere, not really looking into Luna's eyes and never smiling like he had before leaving to Italy. Luna can only guess what changed him that much, but he's never able to hide himself when he is skating.
One jump, twist, second jump. He's above Ramiro's head, laughing loudly, almost brushing top of his friend's head. Matteo moves with impossible grace and Luna would never get tired of watching him. She's pretty impressed that he's doing everything in completely confident way and she can't see any moment of hesitation. He is natural, like a fish swimming in the sea. When Matteo has skates on his feet, he's able to do everything.
He is even being himself for this short second, she wouldn't take it away from him in a million years, because Luna knows he needs it. He needs it like air to breathe and every time she looks at him when his skates aren't there, Matteo is different person.
He is avoiding her.
At first she has thought he'd be fine in a few minutes after coming back from Italy. That it'd be normal, Matteo brightening her day with those sparkling eyes of him. That it'd be safe and warm, just like his arms around her every time. That it'd be happy.
Luna feels tiny tear on her cheek and she wipes it as fast as she's able to. She isn't in the mood for answering questions. And she knows everyone would ask. Except him.
You know, he would ask, yet he wouldn't really want to know. Moreover, Luna wouldn't throw it at him, she's not that kind of person. She is just worried. Worried, that he is in hurt and she can't help him in any way.
Matteo closed his head away from Luna.
He doesn't tell her about his feelings, stopped with lighted up eyes while talking about stars and space, started to avoid any direct contact with her. They can't even skate properly since he denies every kind of being close to her - almost no touching.
She hasn't imagined their relationship that way. Is it still relationship?
Another jump and pretty good turning around.
Every relationship has its problems, some are smaller, some are bigger, but Luna has always believed they could make it. They are Luna and Matteo, Matteo and Luna. They had always been good. She wouldn't have it any other way.
Matteo stops himself near their friends, drinks his water and chuckles at someone's joke. He only pretends it's funny for him. He pretends everything at this stage. Luna isn't sure what the hell is wrong with him but he is shattering her every thought with his look running away as soon as she catches his eyes.
He says few words and everyone are laughing; he is not. If it was other situation she'd try to reach for him; to approach him, but now she knows it's hopeless. Luna just faces the ground and puts her head on her crossed forearms supported on her knees. She doesn't even try to deny the fact she can see two wet, tiny dots on the hard concrete, made by her tears.
"You okay?" Luna doesn't try to raise her eyes at him. Not now.
Do you even want to know?
"Yes," she only murmurs and that answer is probably enough for Matteo and he sits next to her - still leaving some distance between them.
What does mean word 'forever'? Does it mean anything? Because right now they are just placed beside each other like complete strangers.
They were better as strangers than now. Can we start over?
They met together and he made her smile, made her laugh, made her blush. Can we be strangers again?
He jumped into freaking pool just to take her out of it. Can I introduce myself?
He made fun of her during first days in Roller. Can we start over?
He skated with her. To teach her new things, to make her feel better, to make her happy. Can we recreate all memories?
He kissed her twice. Can we give each other second chance?
He made her fall in love with him. Completely.
Could you carry me back to where we started from?
Now they are sitting next to each other and Luna has to pretend she doesn't ache for a hug from him. That she doesn't need forehead kiss and casual 'it's gonna be okay'. She wonders if he's aware what he's doing to her.
People say you shouldn't lean your happiness on any person except you; Luna has done it and she is sure every second was worth it. She would never regret bumping into him in Cancun and she could never forget him. He has given her too much to remember to leave it all behind.
Luna still isn't able to get what has she done to be the one hurting so much, how has she deserved for it. People change - of course -, but is it possible to become completely different person? Where is the Matteo she loves? How many more times will he walk away? How many more times he will leave her in the middle of the sidewalk alone?
She wants him back so much it hurts. She would do anything to get him back. She would give him every chance in the universe if he just asked.
Luna stands up quickly when she feels the ocean of tears is coming, almost tripping over her legs, and leaves after muttering quick "I need to go." She isn't really surprised when he doesn't stop her. Again.
Maybe she's in love just with memory of Matteo Balsano. He was so distant, maybe she forgot how to be with him. Maybe he forgot she was there at all.
Feelings can do beautiful things for people's hearts, but they can be also deadly. Luna must've mistook her feelings for Matteo and Matteo's feelings for her.
She just can't do this anymore.
Maybe it's time to become just a memory.
Maybe it's time to talk.
