My Hero Matthew

Goodbye

1 week later

*Zoleanny's POV*

I finished getting dressed. Today is Matt's funeral. I blinked back tears. I turned arouund & faced Matt's lucky blue bowling ball. Without thinking, I grabbed the ball & put it in my closet. I'm actually suppossed to bring it to the funeral so we can sit it on top of his grave, but I couldn't. I have nothing else of him. Forcing mysself not to cry I drove up to the church.

"What the..." I thought to myself as I pulled into a parking space. There were millions of fans outside the church. THey weren't screaming or cheering because they were so close to the other Magcon boys. They were crying. I walked through the crowd getting many hugs. When I got to the front of the church, it was overflowing with flowers & pictures of Matt. One picture caught my eye. It was a picture of me & Matt kissing. Some fan must have been there with us.

"You can take that photo if you want," said someone behind me.

"Thank you," was all I could say as tears started flowing down my cheeks & I picked up the photo Nash came outside & said that it was time for the funeral to begin. Slowly, almost as if I was walking through water, I went inside the church. All of the boys & I sat in the first pew. There was a big blown up photo of Matt in mid laugh. He always did have the best laugh. I avoided looking at the coffin because it was open.

"Did you bring the bowling ball?" asked Aron who sat beside me.

"No, I decided to keep it," I replied. He didn't say anything or ask why because deep down, I think he knew why I chose to keep it. Around that time, everyone got up & said what they thought about Matt. Eventually it was my turn. I walked up to the mic in front of everyone & began speaking.

"I just met Matt in person a few days ago, but trust me, I knew him for years. I have been a Magcon fan since the very beginning. And I mean I was obsessed. I thought I understood Matt & everything he stood for. I didn't. I only knew the facts like his birthday, favorite candy, and age. But I didn't really understand him until me & him acctually started talking. He was so passionate about many things. I mean in all of his vines he seemed so happy & full of life. He was the same in person. Until I betrayed him & hurt him." By then I turned around to face Matt in the coffin. I softly touched his cheek.

"Matt, I am so sorry, & I know you said you forgive me, but that doesn't mean I forgive myself. I love you so much. Forever & always." I then started bawling. I fell to the ground & just layed there crying. Nash had to come & pick me up. I couldn't sit in there anymore. I ran out of the church & just kept running. I didn't know where I was running to but I eventually stopped by a tree. I turned my back to the tree & slid down to the ground. My breath became ragged between sobs. I don't know how long I stayed there, but it was long enough that I calmed down & started walking back to the church. By the time I got there all teh boys were headed to where Matt was going to be buried. So I started walking there too. But about halfway t his grave I just decided to go home. I ran home as fast as I could went to my closet & got his bowling ball. Then I got into my mom's car to drive to the grave, because I left my car at the church. I drove very slowly, so by the time I got to his grave everyone was gone. I sat the bowling ball on his grave, then I sat down.

"I'll visit you everyday. I love you. Forever & always. Rest in peace, my hero, Matthew Espinosa."