But I'm Not Supposed To Be a Dog!

- 10a -

A week already, and Henry still hadn't been able to shake this guy. At first Daniel seemed like a nice fellow at the park who had good taste in dogs. Henry preened a little in front of the mirrored closet. He certainly was handsome. For a dog. But now, two dates later, Henry knew that Daniel had romantic intentions. No way was he allowing that to happen.

Henry hadn't been able to do anything about it before, since the dates had all been out somewhere. But this time—he felt himself grinning on the inside. Dog mouths just didn't do that sort of thing naturally—this time Abby was going to cook for Daniel. This was both bad and good. It meant Daniel had much greater opportunity to put some moves on Henry's girl. However it also meant Henry would be able to do something about it.

He headed back into the living room, past the couch. The new couch.

The other good thing about Daniel coming over was she finally replaced that plaid monstrosity. She'd spent an entire day cleaning, organizing, and couch shopping. He was quite happy when delivery men appeared with the new couch and took away the old one. The chocolate color matched the recliner, and now it finally looked like an adult lived there instead giggling sorority girls.

Now Abby was out grocery shopping for her magical evening with super-jock. He went to the kitchen and pulled the towel that hung from the refrigerator door. It swung wide open and Henry examined its contents. Ah, there it is. He ignored the bacon and sandwich meats and went straight for the block of gouda. After tearing off the plastic with his teeth, he gulped down the entire thing in a few cheesy bites. Delicious. He got rid of the evidence by closing the fridge and depositing the wrapper into the trash. The rest of the evening he would have to improvise as the night went along.

Abby came home later in the day looking slightly frazzled. She dumped armloads of fresh vegetables, a baguette, and something that smelled divine onto the kitchen counter, and pulled out a cutting board. Once everything was chopped up and sautéed, she carefully pulled a rotisserie chicken out of the bag. It was already seasoned and roasted.

Aha, clever. Henry would have to remember that trick if he ever became a man again.

She removed the chicken from the container, placed it into a pan, and put it into the cold oven. After switching it to warm, she dumped the container into the trash and rushed to the bathroom to get ready.

This was Henry's favorite part of the day. He innocently padded to the bathroom and nudged open the door. He brought a chew stick with him so as to look occupied, but really it was all about the shower show. She practically flew out of her clothes this time. No seductive shimmying out of her shirt, and her underwear did not slide slowly down her legs.

Too bad.

She hopped into the tub, stubbing her toe in the process and cursing while turning on the water. Henry was glad dogs could not giggle, because a naked woman hopping on one foot while yanking the shower curtain shut was funny.

Abby was like an inverse tornado, Henry mused. Instead of spinning around and tossing up a huge mess, she was whirling madly around the apartment and things became tidier. Her outfit was nicer. Her hair was styled. She even wore lipstick. All this... for another man.

Henry snorted. We'll see about that tonight!

There was a knock at the door. It was time. Henry wanted nothing more than to tear Daniel's muscle-bound leg off and eat it in front of him, but Henry knew he had to behave. He had to be the perfect angel so that, when he eventually figured out how to tell her, Abby would fall in love with him all over again. So Henry wouldn't bark, wouldn't make a mess, and wouldn't try to trip Abby. Though he was tempted to trip Daniel, just for fun. Instead, he settled on the far side of the room to watch and wait for his opening.

Abby skittered to the front door, peeked through the peep hole, and nervously smoothed her hair. She took a few steadying breaths before opening the door and smiling broadly at her guest. Daniel presented a bouquet of assorted flowers. Henry yawned. Grocery store flowers no doubt. Abby expressed delight and took the flowers, whereupon he presented a bottle of wine with a grand flourish. Henry snorted again. He's probably a waiter.

Abby invited him in and they chatted for a bit. Daniel expressed interest in the flower petal lamp and admired the new appropriate-for-adults couch. "And there's the handsome boy," he said and strode over to Henry to pet him. Henry saw Abby turn to close the door as Daniel approached, so he lifted his lips into a snarl and showed Daniel his long teeth. Daniel stopped, hand in mid-air about to pet him. Henry remained still, head still on his paws, lifting his lip even higher, quivering with unspoken animosity. Daniel wisely backed away, taken aback by the silent hostility.

"Are you hungry?" Abby asked her guest.

"Starving." Daniel smiled and headed for the dining table, which was elegantly set up for two.

Abby made a show of putting on a pair of oven mitts and pulling the chicken out of the barely warm oven. She sliced off pieces, served up the vegetables, and soon they were eating and talking companionably.

Henry decided there was entirely too much enjoyment going on, so he crept under the table, making sure his fur didn't brush against their legs. His nose caught the scent of a piece of chicken that had fallen under the table, and he quickly gobbled it up without a second thought.

Henry shook his head, trying to shake off the dog Instincts that kept trying to take over. Focus. He looked at the two pairs of legs under the table and strategically got close to Abby's, still without touching her. He lifted up his tail, relaxed his sphincter, and silently released some of the pent up pressure that had been building since he had eaten the cheese that morning. Henry then crept out from under the table and sat in a spot where he could observe them both.

This chapter is longer than most, so I broke it into two parts. Vote before you go?