But I'm Not Supposed To Be a Dog!

Epilogue

For Henry, life as a dog wasn't so bad. It was simpler, actually. Pleasures came so easily. He didn't have to worry about bills, clients, or shaving anymore. Even though his family jewels were gone, he was now able to lick himself freely, something that had been both physically and socially impossible before.

Henry clumsily turned the page of this month's Dog Fancy with one paw and continued to peruse its contents. It was so nice of Rhonda to subscribe to these magazines for him. She even found a TV remote designed for senior citizens. Its enormous buttons made it easier for him to change channels when she was out on a job.

Just then, Rhonda burst through the door, tossing her purse onto a nearby couch and then collapsing next to it. "Oh my goodness, Henry, you would not believe what the bride made her bridesmaids wear for her wedding! It was mind-boggling. Two words: Sailor outfits."

Henry left the magazine on the floor and jumped onto the couch next to her. She rubbed his head and resumed her story.

"I only had to speak to her a few times, but I think the woman was probably a Bridezilla. Thank goodness I just had to deal with the wedding planner most of the time, and he looked about ready to hang himself. She must be one of those hoity-toity types who refuses to speak to 'the help'." Rhonda lifted a pinky to emphasize her point.

Henry lifted a paw in solidarity, imagining he had a pinky. He still missed fingers.

Rhonda laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "You tell 'em Henry! I'm a catering manager, and yet after this wedding I felt a bit like a line cook."

She sat for a moment, then she shrugged. "No matter. It's over now, and I got my big fat paycheck! And do you know what you get?"

Henry leapt off the couch and danced at her feet with excitement. This was his favorite part! He waited impatiently as Rhonda disappeared into the garage. He heard car doors slam and she soon reappeared, two giant hotel pans balanced carefully on her arms. She struggled with the door, which had springs on its hinges to shut itself. Henry dashed to her aid and pushed the door open with his body.

"What a gentleman," Rhonda exclaimed as she strode through the doorway and into the kitchen. "I hope you don't mind, but I invited some company tonight. These leftovers are much too good not to share."

Henry didn't really want to share his meal with anyone else, but it wasn't like these treats were rare occasions. There were definite perks when your human companion was a caterer.

Rhonda dashed into the bathroom to clean up and Henry trotted after her. She spun around at the doorway, and Henry stopped in his tracks. "Oh no you don't. You can try all you like, but you're not getting one lecherous glimpse."

The door shut firmly and Henry went back to the kitchen to fill his nose with the heavenly smells of wedding food.

An hour later the doorbell rang and Henry followed Rhonda to the door. It was Abby! The two women embraced in greeting, and then Abby crouched down to pet him.

"Hi Henry! Did you miss me?"

He put his paws onto her shoulders and licked her face. He actually did miss this quirky woman. Even though she was a terrible cook and she often forgot about him while she was working, she genuinely cared about him, and it wouldn't have been terrible to have ended up with her.

Abby entered the room, followed closely by Daniel, who ruffled his fur as he passed. Daniel wasn't so bad, now that he was no longer a rival. Abby seemed happier. He wondered if it was because Daniel was finally able to get his hands under her dress without being interrupted.

Henry snickered. He regretted nothing.

Before long, they were all seated around the dining table, plates of scrumptious delights in front of their beaming faces. Henry had his own plate on the floor next to Rhonda. It was heaped just as high as the others. Before pushing his nose into the laden plate, Henry contemplated the jovial group before him. They joked, laughed, and teased, faces glowing with broad smiles.

Yes, life was good here.

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And he lived doggily ever after! :D

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