Ti Amo da Lontano // Johnnyboy

Chapter Thirty One // I Love Him

I felt somebody shaking me hard by my shoulders. I groaned slightly, feeling a bit violated and disturbed. 

"Ponyboy? Pony! Wake up, goddamn it!" said the voice harshly. I felt my eyes flutter open to see who it was. 

It was Dallas, and he looked concerned. 

His blond hair was falling in front of his face in wisps, and his typically cold eyes were filled with emotion. His arms weren't flexed, and he had an over sized t-shirt on. 

For once, Dallas Tucker Winston looked vulnerable, and it wasn't a bad look on him. 

"What's going on, Dal?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. He seemed to have sighed in relief. 

"Nothing, nothing. You just weren't waking up, and I needed to give you some pain killers," he stated, looking me up and down. I tried to give him a slight smile. 

It felt good to know that Dally was taking care of me, medical - wise. He could have neglected me, and left me to get infected, but instead he was a constant help towards my injuries. 

Dallas Winston wasn't as cold as the world thought he was. 

Suddenly, he shoved some pills and a glass of water in my direction. 

"You need to take these. Be careful, because you don't want to choke," he said. I took the pills from his hand, as well as the water.

The pills were huge, and were a sickly white color. I almost cringed at the thought of them being inside my stomach. 

I gave him a weary look, before I brought them to my mouth. I put them in my mouth, along with the water, and swallowed them. They felt weird going down my throat.

I looked back at Dally. He looked a bit nervous.

"..Thank you Dallas, for everything," I said. He gave me a weak smile, before walking out.

-

I took a seat on the coach in the living room, feeling everybody's eyes on me. 

Today was the day I was going to admit to what happened to me last night.

Today was the day I was going to come clean about my relationship with Johnny.

Everybody else sat down in the living room. Steve sat down next to me, as well as Soda. Darry was sitting in his usual chair, and Dally was leaning against it, smoking a cigarette. Finally, Two Bit was sitting on the ground, a beer in his hand, as he looked around the room. 

"Well, tell us what happened, Ponyboy," Darry said, sounding slightly demanding. I took in a sharp intake of air. 

I already knew that it was going to be painful to say.

Steve put his hand on my shoulder, and squeezed it slightly. 

"It's alright, Pony. Whenever you're ready.." he encouraged in a reassuring voice. I felt myself relax due to his words and his touch. 

The thoughts in my head began to swirl, but I knew it was now or never. 

"Yesterday, I was at Johnny's house.." I started. Dally glanced nervously around the room out of confusion. He wasn't sure what to expect. 

"..Well, we were- we were sort of..k- kissing on his bed," I mumbled, looking around the room at everyone's reaction. 

Darry was leaning off of his chair, his face clearly showing disbelief. 

Two Bit just took a swig of his beer, and continued to stare at me with his mouth slightly agape. 

Sodapop scooted a few inches away from me, with his eyes completely widened. He expected a secret, but nothing like this. 

Dally seemed to have no reaction, except there was a glimmer in his eyes. He gave me the slightest smile, before taking another puff of his cigarette. 

Why didn't he looked appalled? I asked myself. Truthfully, I expected him to have the worse reaction. 

Finally, Steve put his arm around me in a type of hug. He was trying to signal to me that everything was going to be alright, and to keep going. 

"..Anyways, we were doing that thing, and his dad walked in," I stated. I decided to refrain from using the word "kissing" out of fear. 

Everybody in the room gasped. 

"Did that fucking bastard do that to you?" asked Dally. I nodded my head. 

Dally gave me a furious look, and dropped his cigarette. He violently began marching towards the door. 

Sodapop walked up to him, and out his hands on his shoulders. 

"Let Ponyboy finish his story first, and then we'll react," whispered Soda. Dally scowled at him, but obeyed. He walked towards Two Bit, and stood, waiting for what I was going to say next. 

"Well, he saw us, and then he started yelling. He told me that Johnny was p- previously engaged when he was back in Italy, too," I said, the pain clear in my voice. 

"What do you mean engaged? Like, he was gonna get married and have..babies engaged?" asked Two Bit. I cringed at his question. 

"Well, what else does engaged mean to your alcoholic ass?" snapped Dally. He glared at him. 

"I just-" started Two Bit, before he got cut off.

"Both of you, can it!" gestured Darry. "Ponyboy, continue."

"Then h- he started beating on u- us. He threw me over his sh- shoulder, and threw me out of the h- house. He then kicked me in the s- stomach. I ran home a- after that. I don't know what happened to Johnny," I cried out. The memory hurt to think about. 

Steve immediately put his arms around me. 

"It's alright, Pony. Cry it out," he whispered in my ear. I felt his black hair tickling my cheeks. 

Suddenly, Sodapop stepped in. 

"Does that mean you and Johnny have been dating?" asked Soda. I nodded. He sighed.

He suddenly got up, and walked to the door.

He walked out of the house. 

There was silence. 

"..Forget about him, Ponyboy. Let's stop by Johnny's and make sure he's alright," stated Darry. 

We all got up, and walked to his house. 

-

I stood a few feet from his front door, right by the steps. I took a deep breathe, and looked at the boys standing behind me. 

"Go on, Pony. It'll be fine," encouraged Steve. Dally and Two Bit nodded. 

Darry just remained cold. 

Slowly, I walked up the stairs to the door. 

There was a slip of paper. I picked it up. 

"Dear Kid,

Thanks for ruining my kid. We can't stay in America any longer thanks to your doing. We've left for Italy. You'll never find us or bother us again. 

He never loved you.

You'll never see Jonathan ever again. 

Sincerely, 

Frank Cade."

I broke down crying. 

I felt the gang rush to my side, and heard a chorus of gasps...

...It was all over, and I never even got to say goodbye or that I love him. 

I love him. 

Everything suddenly went black.