I'm SO SO SO SO SO SORRY GUYS. I just haven't been active on Wattpad recently. I've been lately struggling with schoolwork...
I've also been supporting one of my friends who had a baby at the age of 16. Don't question me about this.
I hope you like this chapter to make up for my absence!
1)
Dorian: Haha she dumped you
Sam (from heaven): Haha I knew she'd dump you
Rowan: Haha she doesn't love you anymore
Chaol: ...
Chaol: Guys...
Chaol: Seriously?
Chaol: I'm the only one who got laid
Aedion: Your death is going to be very painful
2)
Chaol's life Song
Do re mi fa so la ti
Do re mi fa so done with Celaena...
3)
Celaena: What do you want, dickbag?
Chaol: Tell me, do you just pair random obscenities with equally random nouns? Cocklamp? Asscarriage? Shitrooster? Is that how this works?
Celaena: Note to self, call someone "shitrooster."
4)
1st Grade Teachers
Aelin: Generously gives sweets to her whole classroom
Rowan: Growling inconspicuously as kids crowd over him, playing with his hair
Sam: Turns into a father figure for all of the students and burns into their hearts forever
Dorian: Turns classroom into a winter wonderland
Chaol: Accidentally makes a kid cry then hides away in the janitor's broom closet
5)
Aelin: *lost Rowan in a crowd*
Aelin: *takes a deep breath and shouts* AELIN GALATHYNIUS SUCKS!
Crowd: ...
Rowan, Aedion, Dorian, Chaol: *stumble out of the crowd* What did you say?
Aelin: ...
Aelin: Oh umm I was looking for Rowan but I guess you are all here now. Great. Buy me chocolate *points at stall*
6)
Aelin: Anything you can do I can do better.
Chaol: Well, I think I can be more stupid than you.
Aelin: Prove it.
Chaol: Fine. I'm going to intentionally get separated from the group in a forest brimming with cannibal witches and charge out of the bushes blindly with nothing but a toothpick in my hand.
Aelin: Oh yeah? Then I'm going to wait for their leader to spare us and then I'm going to tell her I killed the Matron of her sisters just to piss her off, how's that for ya?
Rowan, Aedion and Nesryn: *collective facepalm*
7)
(My personal favourite)
Lorcan: Hah! You've fallen RIGHT into my trap.
Rowan: You can't trap justice. It's an ideal! A belief!
Lorcan: Well even the most heartfelt beliefs can be corroded over time
Rowan: Justice is a noncorrosive metal
Lorcan: But metals can be melted by the head of révéngé!
Rowan: It's REVENGE and it's best served cold
Lorcan: WELL IT CAN BE EASILY REHEATED IN THE MICROWAVE OF EVIL
Rowan: WELL I THINK YOUR WARRANTY IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE
Lorcan: WELL MAYBE I GOT AN EXTENDED WARRANTY
Rowan: Ha! ALL WARRANTIES ARE I N V A L I D IF YOU DON'T USE THE PRODUCT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE
Aelin: OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, you're both pretty. Can I go home now?
YOU ARE READING
SJM: Post
HumorThe title is self-explanatory. A collection of opinions, rants, jokes, posts, fanart and fan music on the series Throne of Glass and A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. This is uncensored and contains a lot of idiotic humor, which can be...
