Chapter 6: The Numbness Plan
You already know how I came to marry Carlo and forget about Leon as a friend. You already know what transpired during our four years in high school. Yet what about that time in between?
Before his name and his books reached bookshelves, Leon was just a 'minor talent', trying to juggle law school with writing. When he felt that he would be 'happier' and grow richer by writing, he chose writing.
I'm glad he did. He was meant to write. He was meant to share what was in that beautiful mind, that bruised spirit, that torn heart of his. Also, isn't doing what you love supposed to make you happy? I took up my master's degree, finished it, started working, and eventually settled down. I was happy; very happy.
Why couldn't he be happy, too?
My friends were mostly doctors or businesswomen. There were a few writers among them as well. Luca and I were working for the same TV/Radio network. We were in various stages of attaining happiness, but, I realized, we would eventually get it, or some of it, because we wanted it.
Leon didn't.
He was, as told me in high school, going to perfect the art of being numb to all sorts of emotion. That way, he said, he couldn't get hurt anymore.
I tried doing it in third year, that 'numbness plan' of his.
You know what?
It didn't work. It only made things worse. The heart was meant to feel things, things like happiness and pain and the love from which is springs from. It isn't in our systems not to feel things. Now, I honestly wonder: what must have been running through his heart (or rather, the cavity of his heart) and his mind, during the time that he was putting himself under that useless, fruitless 'plan'?
BINABASA MO ANG
Pseudonym
Teen FictionI wanted to know the person behind the pseudonym, but it was too late. Something very close and personal, partly fiction, partly non-fiction. This is dedicated to--who else but My Muse. Vote/comment!
