Pseudonym

Greek Geek

Chapter 14: Greek Geek

He had some good friends in elementary, where he was considered one of the smartest students. He wasn't a 'nerd', he was just an ordinary boy who happened to be very smart. At least, that was what I saw in some of the little notes and dedications written to Leon before graduation.

He seemed to be closer to girls than to boys. Was it his charm? His gentlemanly ways?

Losing his father did not seem to affect him much. He graduated as the batch valedictorian. He had friends. He got along well with his mother and brother and the rest of his family. He had a lively interest in Greek mythology, meriting the name 'the emo god of happiness' from his fellow mythology fanatics. Perhaps that was the only sign of his being…emotional prior to high school.

He mentioned writing a 'comic book' with an artist friend in grade five. He had done the story and his friend had done the drawings. He said that he had lost it, though. Too bad, I had replied.

His diligence in studying was not evident all throughout high school. It seemed he had lost the drive to study and do well. He never said anything else. Daniel and I had been concerned about his grades, but after seeing that Leon was about as impenetrable as a bullet proof car, we gave up.

Leon said he didn't remember anything much about his father. Had trauma been the cause of his memory lapse? Or had he truly mastered the art of controlling one's feelings, to the point that the real feelings are unrecognizable and go undetected?

Why is it that I have so many questions for Leon, questions that will forever remain unanswered? His notebooks hold some clues to his past, but they say nothing about his passion. Except for one thing: his love for girls who he never made a move to court or even befriend. His belief in his infinitesimal value came before his desire to be with anyone who could possibly make him happy. The stories he wrote had many obstacles between the main character and the love interest. The hero was always so brave, so kind and selfless…to the point of giving up all chances of happiness with the girl he wanted.

Was this Leon? Were the boys in his books but one—the emo god of happiness?

Happiness has abandoned me,

The way the rest of the world has.

There is no use in seeking it out,

No use in tiring my head and my heart

From thinking and hoping.

I sometimes wondered if

The night-black and beautiful

The rain is my lullaby

I sleep soundly in sadness.