i led him to sit on the bed and i waited for him to speak.
he was looking down at his fingers nervously.
"yesterday i asked peter about our future and he said he doesnt know because of school and that we dont go to the same one and that he cant do long distance or whatever"
"okay" i said waiting for him to continue
"b-but then i started worrying about our future, jay. like i already know i'm a bother and i live in your house and eat your food and stuff but it just scares me whats going to happen to me - and i cant help it but it does scare me. where will i stay, would i have to go into a foster agency and be separated from everything i know? be separated from you, the person i feel the safest with? all these things terrify me and i only told peter that i was scared to leave this place because i told him i was 'moving' and he told me that since i'm always at your house that you are probably bothered and-"
i shook my head no "what? troye i swear to god im not bothered by you at all"
he was still looking down and i say a tear fall from his cheek onto his hands.
"still i'm scared" he said, voice shakey
"come here" i said embracing him into a hug. i rested my chin on top of his curls, "i'm scared too, i have been for a long time and I constantly worry about this"
through the muffled noise of my sweatshirt he asked "are you gonna tell your parents about what happened?"
"only if you want me to, but i think we should"
i replied
i dont want to let go of this boy
his words make my heart shake.
the last thing i want to happen is for him to go into a foster care system and be sent to another state or somewhere where i'll have 0 contact with him, or never see him again.
"okay but can you do it? im too scared to be there and like what if they dont like me because I'm gay even though your parents seem very accepting and all-"
"dont worry i promise they're very accepting. i'll tell them but i dont think we should worry right now, we still have a whole month ahead of us"
i kissed the top of his head and walked over to my dresser and puller out pajamas and threw that that him.
"i'm gonna go wash my face" he said walking to the bathroom
