Her eyes felt heavy and her arm seemed to have a pulse where she tried to kill herself yesterday. The sun shines through her sheer curtains onto the empty spot on her bed beside her. She sits up, looking around for her son.
"Norma?"
Alex stands outside of the open door, hesitantly stepping inside. He walks to her bed and sits on the edge, staring at his hands in his lap. He glances up at her, trying to read her emotions.
"You tried to kill yourself yesterday." he says, stating the harsh fact.
"Yes." she says.
"Do you regret it at all?" he asks.
"I know I should." she says, her chest hurting with different kinds of pain.
"But I just don't understand it." she admits, feeling as though she can tell Alex just about anything.
"Don't understand what?" he asks.
"Why is death viewed as such a horrible thing when life is just endless suffering?"
His eyes soften as he begins to realize how much pain she endures every day that nobody knows about. She does so well at hiding it behind a smile.
"You wouldn't understand." she whispers, noticing his facial expression.
"Then help me understand." he says.
"I..." she trails off, not wanting to tell him.
"You'll think of me as...someone I am not. I want the old me to live on through your memories and I am afraid she will be erased if you know the new me." she explains.
"The old you is still alive in you. She is just being overshadowed by your sadness and grief." he says softly. She still remains silent, staring at the ground.
"Norman killed himself." Alex says, making her face crumble in pain.
"Yes." she whispers.
"Look at what it did to you. It almost destroyed you. Now think of what would happen to us if you killed yourself. Norman dying was hard on all of us. But you...your death would have a chain reaction." he says.
"What do you mean?" she asks, glancing up at him curiously.
"Dylan would lose his mother after losing his brother. You think he would be okay? And if something happened to him, you think Emma would survive that? And...and I know I...I wouldn't have a will to live without you." he admits, staring at the ground. She remains silent, not knowing what to say.
"You know you can talk to me, right? You don't have to hide your pain and act strong around me." he tells her.
"I'm here for you."
Those four words seemed to break the wall she had built as tears stream down her cheeks. She collapses against him in his arms, letting her pain escape her body through her tears.
"It's like...I look at my skin and it no longer feels like my own." she says, holding her hand up in front of her face. She stands up and walks to the mirror on her closet door. Alex follows, standing behind her.
"I stare at my face and no longer recognize my features." she says, touching her reflection. Her cheeks have become more sunken in due to her lack of eating and she has dark bags under her eyes telling of her sleepless nights.
"And still, in my moment of grief and pain...and the knife held to my wrist...my last thoughts were still of you." she whispers, looking at him through the mirror.
His eyes water at the words that slip like butter from her mouth. His hands hesitantly raise and rest on her shoulders, pulling her back to his chest. He rests his forehead on her shoulder, letting his tears fall. She can't help but tear her wall down for this man.
She rests her head against his, grabbing his hands and pulling them around her waist, making him hug her. Her sobs mingled with his, filling the room with the music of their pain.
"What do I do?" she asks quietly. She looks up at him again, her red puffy eyes looking into his puffy eyes, both displaying raw emotion that the two had only just now shown the other.
"You want to know the truth?" he asks. She nods.
"No matter how strong you are, at some point you will hit rock bottom, and it will feel like the world is collapsing beneath your feet. This might be it for you. But darling, the only person who can get you back on the surface is you." he tells her.
"What if I can't? What if I am not strong enough to-"
"I am right here. I'm by your side through all of this." he tells her.
It was in that moment that she finally realized that Alex Romero was her best friend. Her ride or die. He would do anything for her, stay by her side even after her suicide attempt.
She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that but eventually, their eyes dried and her soul seemed lighter. She pulled away from him and smiles softly.
"Thank you, Alex. I'm not sure what I would do without you." she says honestly. She liked seeing the caring side of the sheriff.
"Let's do something." he proposes. She looks at him, a yearn for adventure beginning to develop inside of her.
"Like what?" she asks.
"Are you up for it?" he asks with surprise. She shrugs, trying not to display how eager she is to go somewhere alone with him. He had been her security blanket since she woke up in the hospital. She felt safe with him. If it weren't him, she would've been nothing but a blood stain on the kitchen tiles.
"Yeah." she says.
"Get dressed." he says, hopping off of her bed.
"What do I wear?" she asks.
"Something...something that makes you feel pretty." he says, closing the door behind him. She jumps out of bed, running to her closet with a smile on her face. She grabs one of her sun dresses with a floral print.
Once she pulls it on, she brushes her hair and applies a little bit of makeup before walking downstairs.
"Ready?" he asks. She nods, glancing at Emma and Dylan who are smiling widely.
"Have fun kids." Emma says.
"Don't keep her out too late." Dylan warns Alex with a smile.
"Yes sir." Alex says, walking Norma out. She loops her arm through his and glances up at the blue sky. The sun kissed her skin, warming not only her body but her heart and soul. With every step she took away from the house that held so many painful memories, Norma could feel her old self come back.
He helped her into the car and walked around to get in. He began driving, going down familiar roads, occasionally glancing over at Norma who was gazing out of the window with a soft smile on her face.
"We should talk." he says, wanting to get it off of his chest.
"About what?" she asks.
"Pineview." he tells her. She looks over at him with surprise.
"I...I think I am okay without it." she says, not wanting to tell him of her financial problems.
"Norma you tried to kill yourself yesterday-"
"I don't need to go to a mental institution. I understand my mistake and I am not doing it again." she says.
"I really think it's what is best for you." he tries again.
"Maybe we can go somewhere else-"
"There's no place like Pineview. I won't have you in some crappy institution where it'll do more harm than good." he says stubbornly.
"I can't do Pineview. It's off of the table-"
"I can help you get in. Dylan told me." he says, glancing over at her with apprehension.
"He did?" she asks, feeling betrayed.
"You need insurance." he says.
"Yes." she says.
"I have insurance." he tells her, seeing if she will catch on.
"So? Good for you." she says, slouching back in her seat.
"Maybe I could marry you." he says, catching her attention. Her gaze snaps over to him with surprise, her blue eyes wide.
"So? What do you say?" he asks.
"You're asking me to marry you?" she asks.
"You'll get my insurance and be in Pineview in no time." he tells her, trying to explain himself.
"You want to marry me...to help me?" she asks.
"Yes. So will you? Marry me?"
