Speechless

Wordless

Maya's pov

I was flopped down on my bed, currently wrapped in the gorgeous quilt, that five minutes ago, had been beautifully strewn across the comforter. Oops. I stared at the ceiling hoping to find answers sketched into it. After about twenty seconds of staring, I concluded that the answers of the universe probably weren't on the ceiling of my aunt Katy's apartment complex. I sat up, releasing myself of the quilt and placing it neatly on the bed, then walked over to "my" balcony. I knew I was supposed to feel like this was my home now, that I belonged here, but in all truth, I couldn't bring myself to feel like that at all. In a way, I probably wouldn't ever feel like I was home anywhere. There's things that make up a home, love, hope, faith, kindness, and security. At this point in my life, none of those things were in reach.
I leaned over the edge of the balcony looking down at the sidewalk below, smiling at a little girl chasing some pidgins. She was so cute with her brown braided pigtails bouncing along to her wobbled run, she couldn't have been more than 3. Her black little dress with sunflowers on it, waved in the wind of New York City. A man and woman who had been keeping a keen eye on her from their nearby table had stood up and approached her, then man scooping the little girl in his arms, causing her to giggle.

"Daddy, stop! Please," she laughed.

"Dad, stop! Please," his arm kept coming down with his sledgehammer swinging down, smashing my guitar that my grandmother had given me. I attempted to pull his arm back, but he just slapped my face and pushed me away. My hand went up to the hot, red, tear covered spot, that would surely bruise over the next day. My eyes followed his every move, I felt powerless and weak, watching him come down and down on the instrument.
"Maybe now you'll learn to be quiet! Won't be so loud, god dammit!" His damage was done and the guitar was in pieces. It was my fault. I'd set him off, I should've know not to play too loud. I guess I was just so excited to have gone a birthday without being struck or yelled at.

"You're not gonna jump, are you?"
(VPD anyone? Yes? No? Okay.)

I turned around to see Lucas leaning against the door frame of the bedroom with his arms crossed. I smiled meekly, returning back to the softness of the bed, then shook my head no. He joined me, sitting cross legged in front of me. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, collecting his thoughts, it seemed. He opened his eyes then his mouth followed with,

"Maya, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to you know-" he stopped, "I uh, I mean, I kinda thought I felt-" his hand gestured in between the two of us, making me look at him with quizzical expression. He sighed, running a hand down his face and shaking his head chuckling without a trace of humor.

"Can we, uh, can we go back to before? To when I was trying to help you break out of your shell, to before I screwed the pooch?" Lucas asked with an apologetic smile. I was quick to nod my head yes, smiling like an idiot. Of course I wasn't upset that he had kissed me. In the moment, I really wanted him to kiss me, but reality struck me with a kind reminder, that no one can get close to me. If Lucas had already gotten me out of my comfort zone on the first day I'd met him, I was in for a load of trouble.

"Okay. Great. I'll uh, I'll see you at school then," he stood up from the bed, ready to make a graceful exit, when he suddenly stopped then turned around.
"Don't think that this is a pickup line or anything, but is it alright if have your phone number, just so I can avoid some unneeded, awkward, face to face conversations," he asked cheekily. I chuckled, holding my hand out. The green eyed boy skipped over to me, happily placing the phone in my hand. I looked at the new and sleek phone, it couldn't have been older than an iPhone 7. Reaching in my back pocket, I got out my ugly, broken, iPhone 4 and handed it to Lucas. I typed my number into his phone, carefully, then put my name in contacts as:
Maya 🙊.
I handed the phone back to him, I watched his eyes widen when he saw my name. He chuckled, shaking his head. He handed me my phone back, still giggling. Lucas looked down at me with a playful smirk on his face,
"You're an odd one Hart, I'm lucky to have met you this morning," he turned around to leave again. He was halfway out the door when his phone dinged.