All that I am

Chapter 8

Maya's POV

Becky has been sending me threatening notes I don't even know how to deal with them anymore.
Kanji: Your still thinking about Becky?
Lwandle: Yes
Kanji: Don't worry she will never come in between us again.
(Knock on the door)
Kanji: Becky what are you doing here?!
She let's herself in and sits down opposite me and Kanji also sits down.
Becky: Lwandle I'm sorry but I think it's time you leave Kanji alone
Lwandle: Why?
Becky: I'm one month pregnant
Kanji: What?!
Lwandle: Are you sure it's Kanji's?
Becky: He's the only guy I've been sleeping with
Lwandle: Kanji what do you think?
Kanji: There's 70% percent it's true because she was sleeping with me
Lwandle: So what do we do?
Becky: You mean what do I and Kanji do
Lwandle: Kanji I am talking to you not some bitch with heavy make up
Kanji: I can't abandon the baby and I also love you
Becky: Just choose one Kanji!
Lwandle: You can have both I'll help you
Becky: No!That is not going to happen because the baby needs her real father and mother not a step mother.
Kanji: Becky stop disrespecting Lwandle I can make my own choice. I choose both okay now you two stop acting like love struck teenagers
Lwandle: I'm sorry
Becky: Boys come in!
Three men come in with Becky's clothes and furniture and she instructs them where to put it and Kanji doesn't say anything. Oh God I wonder how long will I be able to bear with this please give me strength to overcome this obstacle because I know God you wouldn't put this problem my way knowing I can't overcome it. Please watch over me and please protect my heart cause I feel as if my heart will hurt a lot so please watch over it. Amen.

Becky: Lwandle you do know sooner or later you will have to leave right?
Lwandle: I'm supporting Kanji because I love him if he wants me to go I will go
Becky: This will be very entertaining

She heads to her now given room and closes the door

At night

Lwandle: Kanji wake up Becky's calling you
Kanji: What does she want?
Lwandle: I don't know
Kanji: Lwandle I love you regardless of the baby in her stomach you will always be the woman in my heart she will never be the woman in my heart
Lwandle: Stop saying never last time you said never Becky walked in with a human being in her stomach, a human being you took part in creating so I think that's enough now go before she busts through the door(laughs)

Kanji stands up and leaves the room. Tears start falling on their own, was I wrong by ignoring him? Is that why Becky is carrying his child? Should I just leave him and Becky to start their family. I love him so much that I can't be furious at the fact that he made another woman pregnant. Support him because I love him? Am I fooling myself here? What if this wasn't supposed to be mine from the start? Deep down I knew and I still know that I will never be enough for him I mean look at Becky, she's a beautiful white girl and I'm a black person who has only 4 friends. I'm forcing myself to love someone who impregnated another woman, a person who did not even recognize me. I truly am desperate, I mean this is all just bullshit. Which crazy bitch stands for this? Me! I'm the crazy bitch that stands for this.

I get up and go drink water then I open the door to Becky's room and see Kanji and her sleeping. They are both smiling in their sleep, they look so perfect, they look like a family, a family I will never have with him. The man who stole my heart, the man I gave all of me, life is so unfair.

Kanji's POV

Lwandle: Kanji wake up Becky's calling you
Kanji: What does she want?
Lwandle: I don't know
Kanji: Lwandle I love you regardless of the baby in her stomach you will always be the woman in my heart, she will never be the woman in my heart.
Lwandle: Stop saying never last time you said never Becky walked n with a human being in her stomach, a human being you took part in creating so I think that's enough now go before she busts through the door (laughs)

She is pretending to laugh, this is really hard for her I can see ever since Becky came through the door Lwandle has been looking at me differently. I can't pinpoint it  because I see pain then I see guilt, I don't even know how to respond to what she is saying because it's true I really did take part in making this baby.

I stand up and head to Becky's room when I open the door I find her sleeping. I turn around but before I leave the room she stops me.
Becky: Please come and sleep next to me
Kanji: No
Becky: Please for the baby
Kanji: Just for the baby
Becky: You do know she will leave you sooner or later?
Kanji: She won't
Becky: Kanji your causing her so much pain so just leave her be
Kanji: I can't I love her
Becky: You have to love me and the baby
Kanji: I love the baby and her I'm sorry but once the baby is born you have to leave
Becky: We will see about that.

I hear Lwandle she peeps in a bit and stares at us for a very long time then closed the door. Oh Lwandle please bear with me just 9 months then everything will go back to normal. We will be a family I will marry you just like I promised and we will expand our family so please don't leave me. God please give her strength to bear with me and support me and please give me strength to bear with this woman who claims to be carrying my baby.

Thank you for reading and may the Lord bless you. I have to ask if you were in Lwandle's position would you stay or leave?
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