Homestuck x reader

Phobias (Human! Sollux x reader)

(A/N: I'm basing the readers root of their fear from my own experience & my own phobia. I'll put the list below so nobody gets triggered)

Phobias in this story include: haphephobia (fear of getting touched)
Slight androphobia (fear of men)
Aquaphobia (fear of water)

One last thing: I apologize if Sollux is OOC. I'm not used to using him in stories.

~~~

When you and Sollux became a couple, you knew that there was sure to be a bit of physical contact that came with it.

You wished that you could be comfortable with it, really you did. Because you loved Sollux dearly and wanted him to enjoy his time spent with you.

But you couldn't. Because you were desperately afraid of boys touching you. Even Sollux.

Whenever you told people, they were sometimes understanding, sometimes confused, and rarely dismissive, saying things like 'you'll learn to love them soon enough' or 'it's not so bad. Just wait for the sex! It's great!' You hadn't told them why you started having that specific fear. It was a bit too personal.

So far, Sollux hadn't laid a finger on you, due to him not exactly being the super touchy-feely type, but you knew you would have to tell him about it sooner or later.

The moment came unexpectedly, as a lot of confessions do. One late Friday night, when you and Sollux were done with your week of classes. You'd been lucky enough to catch Sollux before he could disappear into his room to tap away on his computer. Being a computer science major, Sollux had to be on his computer a lot, but he spent way too much time on it even without having to do work for his major.

You wanted to watch Jaws. You liked watching old horror movies from the 70's and 80's and such. You also wanted to see how scared Sollux could get. If there was one thing you knew about Sollux, it was that he despised water. It had to do with an incident back when he was with his ex.

Sollux's ex had brought him to the beach for a weekend stay at her moms mansion. Unfortunately, the girl's ex happened to be there and he took an instant dislike to Sollux. While Sollux and the girl had been swimming, the man swam underneath Sollux and pulled him under. The girl had gotten them off each other with a lot of punching. When she'd pulled a half-drowned Sollux onto dry land, the poor boy had been so traumatized that he couldn't even go near the ocean without getting sick.

You felt a little bad about doing this, but you had never seen Sollux so much as flinch when you watched horror movies that didn't involve water. And you were very curious about if Sollux could be even slightly frightened by any type of horror movie.

As the movie progressed, whenever a scene was shot where people were swimming (which was all the time), you would look over at Sollux. He seemed fine every time, but his lips would press together tightly.

"You okay, Sollux?"

"Yeth," he replied in a clipped tone.

Then came the scene where the search party found the abandoned boat wreckage. You had already seen Jaws, so you knew there was a jumpscare coming.

The man jumped into the water and found the hole in the bottom of the boat. When he swam closer, a corpse's head popped out of the hole, it's one blue eye huge and staring.

Sollux shrieked and in a second later, you shrieked as well, because Sollux, in his panic, had sprung across the couch and latched onto you.

You scrambled to get away from your boyfriend, screaming, "DON'T TOUCH ME! GET OFF ME! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

You tumbled onto the floor and crawled about 5 feet away. It felt as though you had been burned where Sollux had touched you.

When you turned around, Sollux paused the movie.

"(Name), are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

You peered at him warily and slowly shook your head no.

"Y... You can play it now." you said in a voice barely reaching above a whisper. You stood up and silently walked to the side of the couch that was farthest from Sollux. Thoughts raced through your mind at lightning speed.

You felt bad about sitting far away from Sollux when he'd just been panicked, but... when he had touched you, that had scared you more than any horror movie you'd ever watched. But then again he was your boyfriend, shouldn't you comfort him with a hug? But still, the second he had touched your skin, it was just like every single time anyone with a manhood had touched you, even brushing against you by accident.

You curled up against the arm of the couch, trying to make yourself as small as possible.

"What'th the matter? Did it thcare you, too?"

"No... I knew what was coming." you replied softly.

Sollux scrutinized you then slowly lifted the remote and hit play.

~~~~~

When the movie was over, you entered the kitchen to grab some late night snacks. You were still thinking about the moment when Sollux had leapt at you. You knew he hadn't meant to scare you, that he had been reflexively looking for something comforting to hold on to.

You were so lost in your thoughts, you didn't hear as Sollux came up behind you and asked if you were alright.

"(Name)? Earth to (Name). The lighth are on, but nobodyth home." He laid his long-fingered hand on your shoulder, jolting you from your thoughts. You gasped and stepped away from him.

"Please don't do that."

"(Name)... Are you afraid of me?" he asked earnestly.

"Oh no, no!" you said quickly. "I just don't like getting touched... is... all."

"That'th bullthit. I thee you hugging AA and FF all the time. They don't theem to bug you half ath much ath it did when I put my hand on your thoulder jutht now. Tho what ith it? If you are afraid of me, you can thay tho."

You rubbed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose.

"Sollux... I need food first. Then we can sit down and talk about this, okay? Just know that I'm not afraid of you specifically."

"'Thpethifically'? What'th that thuppothed to-... oh fucking fine."

He lumbered to the fridge and pulled out some vanilla ice cream, then searched the top shelf of the pantry. He could reach it easily, seeing as he was 6'2. You watched him out of the corner of your eye as he found the honey bottle and pretty much made honey and ice cream soup. Your boy sure loved his honey.

When you finished off your snack and Sollux had slurped down the remains of the cream-streaked honey, you went to the living room and sat down across from each other on the couch.

"Sollux, I really am not afraid of you, just..." You paused, trying to find the right words.

"Go on." Sollux pressed gently.

"So, I have this fear that's kinda specific. If you don't believe me about it, then alright. Most people don't anyway... I am afraid of being touched by boys."

"Okay, tho you have perthonal thpathe ithueth. That'th common."

"No, but it's only for boys, though. There's not even a word in the dictionary for it that I could find. I have no trouble with touching girls, like hugging and stuff. Some people thought I was a lesbian because of that, but the thing is... some stuff happened in high school, before I met you and... yeah..."

"Oh... uh... Could you... Tell me what happened?" he asked slowly.

"..." you hesitated and before you could stop yourself, the explanation came flooding out of you. You hadn't told anyone about it because you thought it didn't seem like a good root for your fear, but it felt good to talk about it finally.

"When I was in my 1st year, there was this guy that people talked about and supposedly he was a really enjoyable and quirky dude, kinda like a flamboyant gay stereotype, so I thought good things about him. But... when I first met him, I was going down the hall at lunch, eating pizza, and he came up behind me and headlocked me. He said 'HIIIIII FRIIIIIIEEEND!' in my ear so fucking loudly and I was looking at people, trying to tell them with my eyes to get this fucker off of me, but nobody did. And when I finally got out of that, I hoped I'd never see him again, because that scared the shit out of me!
"But noooooo! Because for the next couple months, he kept finding me no matter where I went. I hung out with my friends in this little pocket in the locker bay. When I first told them about that encounter, they were dismissive and like 'how can you be scared of a guy who acts like a stereotype gay?', but then, he started coming to the locker bay and he would step through my friends to get to me. He would ask me for food, get uncomfortably close to me, hug me without permission.
"There was this one time where I was sitting in the corner, all curled up, reading a book and everyone was sitting down, chatting and eating and stuff. I was so immersed in my book, I didn't see him step over everyone and then there was these two thumps and I looked up and he was standing right over me, hands on either side so I couldn't get away, and just staring at me and grinning like a lunatic. And all he said was 'Hey... what're you doin'?'
"I couldn't talk, I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything. I was fucking petrified. I didn't even notice that some of my friends had stopped talking. Then he reached down and ran a finger along my jaw and at that point, everyone went quiet. He muttered, 'hmmm... good, good.' And just left, like everything was normal! I was shaking like... I don't even know. My friends were on me in a minute, asking if I was okay, if I knew his name, if I wanted them to go kick his ass. And I still couldn't talk because that was one of the scariest fucking things I'd ever been through. After that, whenever one of them spotted him nearby, they told me to run to the bathroom to hide. He eventually got the hint that I didn't like him and he left me alone, but I still saw him in the hallways.
"Then in my sophomore year, there was this guy with a bowl cut in gym class who thought it was funny to catcall me. The first time, I was getting water and he said, 'what's good witchu, sexy?' I didn't even know he was talking to me for a minute, but that didn't stop me from giving him the finger.
"From then on, when we were in the gym, I'd walk with my friend and he'd be sitting off to the side and the minute I walked by, he'd start screeching 'HEY BABAY! BABY! BABY! WHAT'S GOOD, BABY? AW, COME ON, BABY! I LOVE YOU, BABY! BABY!'. It happened so much, I didn't think he realized he was embarrassing himself. I tried to ignore him and my friend tried to fend him off, but that just made him start following me. He tried to put his arm around me and I constantly tried to get away. At one point, I was out in the hallway getting water and when I turned around, he was right there! And he blocked me from getting back to the gym. He tried to grab my arm and said that I was being a bitch by ignoring him, that I was embarrassing him when I didn't respond to his yelling. I shook him off and ran back to the gym. For the rest of the day, he just glared at me.
"Then, there was the last time he tried and that was when I walked by him and he followed me, snuck up behind me and tried to wrap his arms around my hips. I turned around, hit him in the gut and screamed, 'DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!'... just as my gym teacher walked in. I got called to the side and I thought I was gonna get grilled for swearing, because he didn't like kids swearing, but he asked me if I was okay and if the boy hurt me. So I told him. The fuckboy had been looking over at me and he looked away so quickly when I pointed to him and my coach looked at him. Since then he left me alone. And... that's it."

You hugged your knees to your chest.

"I know it's not a good root for that fear and-"

"Thut up right now."

You looked up in surprise at Sollux. His eyes, a pretty gold color, seemed to be blazing behind his oval glasses. His hands were clenched into fists.

"You think that ithn't a good root for your fear? You're tho fucking wrong, (Name)! Thothe guyth were being thuch fucking creepth! It'h the thort of thit to give any girl who went through that a fear like yourth. Don't invalidate your fear, okay?"

He paused to catch his breath.

"I'd give you a hug, but..."

You couldn't help but give a small smile.

"Thanks for listening, Sollux. You're the first person I've told about all that."

"No problem. We're thuppothed to lithen to each other, right?"

~~~Epilogue~~~

"Tho... you're not afraid of me, you're jutht afraid of my being a dude and touching you?"

"... Yeah," you were a little ashamed of how sexist that made you sound.

"Okay."

"You're fine with that?"

"Yep... but... if I was a girl, what would you do?"

"I'd probably be able to touch you more easily." You blushed. "W-wait, that sounded a little weird."

Sollux raised an eyebrow. "Are you cool with looking at naked guyth?"

You blushed brighter. "What are you implying?"

"Jutht athking. Night, (Name)."

And he went to his bedroom, leaving you to wonder what he'd been thinking about.