Homestuck x reader

Boyfriend; a songfic (fem! Dirk x reader)

(A/N: the song is Boyfriend by Tegan and Sara. I love 'em so much! Also, contains alcohol usage)

Tell you that I love you that I can't hold back
The feeling that you give me, wanna give it right back
I know you always win at this particular game
I need to know the rules if you want me to play

You were quite new to middle school. Having just moved, you had no idea who was nice and who wasn't, where you should go and where you shouldn't. And so came the classic dilemma of any new student; where to sit at lunch.

You had your lunch that your mom had hurriedly given you before shoving you out the door to catch the bus. You wandered slowly through the crowded cafeteria, trying to find a free seat. At one point, you thought you found one, but then you realized that this was the group of upper class rich eleven-year-old girls who caked their faces with makeup despite the fact that half of them hadn't even started getting their time of the month. They glared at you as you set your bag down.

"UM," one girl with too much blue eyeshadow said loudly. "Just WHAT do you think you're doing??"

'Ugh,' you thought. 'Valley girl accent? Really?'

"Sorry. Can I sit here?"

"Let me think about that," she put a red talon of a fingernail to her lips. "NO."

The other girls laughed in high fake voices. You silently hoped that they got pregnant in high school. Wait, you took that back. What poor kid would have one of fake little fucks as a mom, you pitied them. You were 2 years above them, but the rudeness still hurt.

So you walked around some more and, finding no free seats, decided to head outdoors. You went outside and sat down on a bench. You rubbed your eyes tiredly. Well, you could always sit here. As you reached for your bag, something small and hard hit your hand out of nowhere.

"OUCH!" you looked around. There seemed to be nobody around. Then you heard a hiss from... above? You looked up.

On the roof sat a girl with long, flowing blonde hair. She wore pointy sunglasses that covered her eyes, but she seemed to be looking down at you.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"(Name)."

"Dawn. There's a ladder around the corner if you want to sit up here."

You considered it for a minute. You might be getting in trouble... but this girl didn't seem to be like any of the pre-pubescent bitches in the cafeteria. You went around the corner and found a ladder attached to the brick exterior of the school. You scaled it in no time. When you reached the top, you sat beside Dawn.

"You're a newbie here, aren't you? Where are you from?"

"(Old hometown)."

"Huh. I'm guessin' the girls in the cafeteria drove you out?"

"Kind of."

"That one with too much blue eyeshadow and red talons? That's Flo. Steer clear of her at all costs. She's queen beeotch of the school, despite bein' a 6th grader. Anyway, you're in my math, English and history classes."

"Really? I'm sorry, but I don't think I saw you in those classes! Too many new faces, I guess."

"Yeah, you probably didn't. I get placed in the back a lot because I'm quiet. Also maybe because the teachers don't want to deal with me as much."

"Dawn, right? Nice to meet you. You seem cool."

You didn't notice it then, but in the future, when you looked back on it, you remembered a small tinge of pink appearing on Dawn's cheeks.

"... Thanks. You do, too. Seem cool, I mean."

You treat me like your boyfriend
And trust me like a, like a very best friend
You kiss me like your boyfriend
You call me up like you would your best friend
You turn me on like you would your boyfriend
But I don't wanna be your secret anymore

High school was both better and worse than middle school, that's what you learned during your time as a freshman. The girls weren't nearly as bitchy as middle-schoolers, but that was because of the immense workload placed on them and everyone else's shoulders. That's why weekends were much appreciated by everyone.

It was even better when you had a best friend like Dawn. As you had learned about each other during middle school and freshman year, Dawn truly was cool. She rode a skateboard everywhere, she took fencing, she built robots, played video games, loved anime and sometimes drew on her tablet. She was the coolest person you knew. And unlike some of your 'friends' from your old hometown, she actually wanted to hang out with you.

Then there came a time where she began acting a little strange and more quiet then usual. You knew that her older sister had been away, off on a world tour as a dj. According to Dawn, her sister had told her she couldn't go because 'it wasn't for kids'. So Dawn stayed in her apartment alone. You visited often, trying to get rid of the loneliness she must've been feeling.

One night, you had stayed late at her place. You played video games together, as usual, but Dawn kept losing. She would simply stop controlling her characters for a full minute, allowing you time to completely slug her fighter. After your 4th victory, you paused the game.

"Dawn, are you okay?"

"... Yeah, why?"

"You're not okay. What's the matter?"

Dawn was silent for a long time before answering.

"(Name)... I..." She took a breath. "I really need to get somethin' off my chest and I really hope you don't hate me for it, but I understand if you want to go home and never speak to me again because of this... I like girls."

"... That's it?"

Dawn looked up at you, surprised.

"Yeah."

"I thought you were moving halfway across the globe or you were terminally sick or something. Don't scare me like that!"

"You don't mind?"

"Why would I be upset? You're my best friend and the awesomest girl I've ever known!"

Dawn seemed to let out a breath that she'd been holding since she began acting so distant.

"Ok... Ok, that's good to know." She snatched up the controller. "One more round."

You were glad she was back to normal. Dawn kicked your ass on the next round.

I'm trying to be honest 'cause I can't relax
Oh, when I get around you, I can't hide the facts
I let you take advantage 'cause it felt so good
I blame myself for thinking we both understood

You stormed up to the roof of your high school, fuming. You kicked the door open and stepped out into the open. A fresh breeze ruffled your hair and you closed your eyes and enjoyed the coolness against your face. Then you slammed the door behind you and continued over to your usual spot. Dawn was there, of course, playing a game on her bright orange Nintendo.

"Hey, (Name)," she said. "I was wonderin' when-"

Dawn looked up at that point.

"Are you okay?"

"I broke up with him. I fucking hate that stupid idiot MOTHERFUCKER." you half growled, half shouted. Indeed, you had just broken up with your boyfriend of one month.

"Jesus, calm down! What happened exactly?"

"He introduced me to his friends and it was okay at first, but then they started making gay slurs. I told him to stop and he said it was just jokes, but then they started talking shit about you, calling you names and a bunch of other BULLSHIT! That was the last straw!" You made small punching motion out of anger and huffed.

"Thanks for standin' up to those idiots, but I think I can take care of myself. Sit down before you blow a gasket."

"I just really hate when people talk like that! Especially about you!" You finally sat down next to her. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I really am flattered that you did that."

You tilted your head back so it rested against the wall and closed your eyes.

"So how are you and Jackie?" you asked, trying to change the subject.

"We, um... We broke up over the weekend, actually."

"Whoa, what? Why?"

"We just... I don't know," Dawn shut off the Nintendo and closed it. "I guess... I guess I just wasn't ready for a relationship yet. Also, Jackie told me she was aromantic... I feel bad about breakin' up with her and that bein' one of the reasons, but I just don't know what datin' someone would be like if only one was romantic towards the other. I mean, from what I know, that seems to be a one way trip down toxic avenue, but I still feel like it's my fault and I'm not open-minded enough for that sort of thing... Do you think I should've tried to connect with her and stay with her despite that?"

You sat still and thought for a long time. You knew you had to choose your words carefully for something like this.

"I... I think it's good that you broke up. If you realized that you need romance in a relationship and Jackie doesn't need romance, then I think it's good that you broke up. Also, if neither of you felt ready for dating, then that's also a good reason. You need to consider your own needs and find someone who can supply the things you need in a relationship. Like how some flowers need dry places to grow and other flowers need humid places."

Dawn pursed her lips.

"That was... thoughtful."

"You're welcome."

You leaned over and gave her a hug. It must've surprised her because it took her a second to hug you back. Dawn felt nice to hug, although that might've been her soft skin and Scarlett Johansson-sized bust.

When you pulled away, you realized you didn't want to let go. And that night, as you lay in bed and thought about it, you felt confused with yourself. You liked hugging Dawn a lot. Why was it that lately you didn't want to let go as much?

You treat me like your boyfriend
And trust me like a, like a very best friend
You kiss me like your boyfriend
You call me up like you would your best friend
You turn me on like you would your boyfriend
But I don't wanna be your secret anymore

When the graduation ceremony ended, you and Dawn headed back to her place. It was supposed to be nice, just you and her having a little grad party all to yourselves, but somehow, it ended with you two sprawled on the couch, staring at the ceiling. You both knew you should be happy that high school was finally over and you were now adults, free to live your life as you chose, but you couldn't feel anything but uneasiness.

"So," you finally said. "What do you think you're going to do? You got accepted into that one school for robotics. Are you gonna go off to do that?"

"I don't know," came her answer. "What about you?"

"I don't know either," you admitted.

"Shit."

"Yep."

You were both silent for what seemed like an hour.

"Actually," Dawn said as she sat up. "I think I will go there."

"... It's far away."

"Yeah."

"I would miss you."

"..."

Dawn got off the couch and went into the kitchen.

"Do you want pizza or Indian?" she called.

'Would't you miss me too?' you thought.

"Pizza for days!" you called back.

When you went home about 2 hours later and you lay in bed, you pondered. Dawn would be going to a great school, meeting other cool nerds, doing nerdy stuff all day long that she would most likely love. You knew you should've been happy for her. So why weren't you?

'Because you're being selfish,' a voice in your head replied. 'Because you want to keep her close to you. You want to talk with her, be with her, hold her, hug her, laugh with her as you have done since middle school.'

Suddenly, you had an epiphany that caused that voice to become barely a whisper, but at the same time, seem to be magnified in your mind. It caused you to sit bolt upright in your bed, a gasp escaping your lips.

'Because... you love her.'

You could only sit there, stone still. You were in love with Dawn. How could you have not realized it sooner? That's why you didn't enjoy dating guys. That's why you felt weird, unpleasant twinges when Dawn had been with Jackie in junior year. That's why you didn't want her to go so far away. You turned your head so you were looking into the mirror across from your bed.

"... I'm... I really fucking love her." you whispered to nobody but yourself.

Don't wanna, don't wanna play the crying game
Do you feel the same? You feel the same
Don't wanna, don't wanna spin the bottle again
Do you feel the same? You feel the same

You didn't tell anyone about your revelation. You kept hanging out with Dawn during the summer, playing video games, chatting, seeing movies, like normal. It just about broke your heart when you realized that next week, you two would be apart for the longest you had ever been

You and Dawn promised to keep in touch with each other. You were going to a college for (major) that you had been accepted to, while Dawn kept her word about going to the robotics school.

College was surprisingly alright. It did have just as much, if not more work than high school, but there was more break time in between classes to get it done. Also, sometimes your professors would show up with hangovers and tell you to just do bookwork for the rest of class.

You and Dawn found time to talk on the weekends over FaceTime. According to her, labs had already been destroyed, a couple people had gotten sent to the hospital for trying to make robots that knew martial arts, and it was over all a great nerd school that she enjoyed. Then she said that she wanted to come visit you for the summer.

"O-oh! Really?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I visit my best girl?"

"I mean... you've gotta have a girlfriend by now! How many girls have asked you out at that school?"

"Umm... actually, a lot. Lots of guys did, too. But I turned them all down."

"Why? The girls have got to be smart enough for your liking."

"I have my eye on someone else. Not even sure if she likes me in a similar way. Probably not."

That made your heart feel like it stopped.

"Who?" you asked, trying not to let disappointment snake it's way into your voice.

"I might tell you about it when I see you this summer. I have to go. Later!"

And she hung up. You rolled over onto your back and covered your face. You could feel tears pricking your eyes.

'I should've told her,' you thought.

When summer arrived, you went home. The day after arriving and being greeted by your parents, you woke up to the sound of the doorbell. You opened it to find Dawn on the other side.

"Hi." she said. You flung your arms around her.

"I missed you!" you squealed excitedly. She chuckled.

"I missed you, too."

You didn't want to let go. You really didn't want to let go. So it felt unpleasant when Dawn pulled away.

"Hey, so," she rubbed the back of her head. "I, uh, don't really have a place to stay right now. Do you think I could bunk with you? If you don't have room, I underst-"

"Yeah!" You said. "You can stay in my room!"

"Wow... okay. Thanks."

As it turned out, you had spoken without thinking. You had forgotten that you no longer had a trundle bed.

"So," Dawn asked awkwardly. "Do I... sleep on the floor or... ?"

"We could share the bed."

Dawn turned her head around to face you so fast, her ponytail whipped around and smacked both of you across the face.

"Sorry! Sorry about the hair!" she said quickly. "I, um, y-yeah! Sounds good! Sharing the bed. I... yeah!"

"If you feel awkward about it, I can-"

"No no! It's great! I-I mean, it's good."

Wow. What was up with Dawn? You wondered.

That night, as you both crawled into bed, you tried to face away from her. It would feel just a tad awkward if you spent the night staring at your crush.

"(Name)?"

"Yeah?"

"I really did miss you."

"... Same to you."

You treat me like your boyfriend
And trust me like a, like a very best friend
You kiss me like your boyfriend
You call me up like you would your best friend
You turn me on like you would your boyfriend
But I don't wanna be your secret anymore

You couldn't believe what you were seeing. You had no idea she even did things like this. But then again, maybe that was the peach schnapps she'd had before that had implanted this competitiveness in her mind.

Dawn was currently having a drinking contest with an older fellow. She had downed about 4 shots and she was blushing a little. The man looked like he worked a white-collar job at a corporation, suit, tie and everything. His face was turning red. She downed about two more shots and began to sway. The man's face looked like a cherry, eyes squinting and watery.

Dawn had convinced you to try out a new bar that had just opened a few streets away. You had initially refused, but after realizing that Dawn was still going, you figured you had to be the designated driver and make sure she didn't get taken advantage of.

Dawn put a hand to her face and tried to rest her head on it, but her head quickly slid down and she ended up slamming her face into the table. The man stood up and raised his arms, showing sweat stains through his designer jacket. The men in the bar cheered while the women groaned in disappointment.

You dashed over to Dawn and shook her. She sat up, head lolling around, and grunted in the back of her throat.

"Dawn, come on. I'm taking us home right now."

Dawn grunted again in response. You hooked her arm around your neck and helped her get into the car.

"Sssssssffffffuuuuuuuuccckkk..." she whined. "Iiiiii-I fuckiiiiiiiiiiinnnnn' beat 'iiiiim! Fu' yeah!"

"You're drunk, Dawn," you said sharply. "You're just... so damn drunk."

"Aaaawwww, why sssssso mad a' meeee??" she slurred.

"Because I didn't think you did things like that. Also, I think you're going to regret all this in the morning. It's going to be one painful hangover."

"... I' ssssorry." she mumbled. You sighed.

"Just try not to do any stupid stuff like that, okay?"

"Mmmmmnh." she groaned in response. Dawn suddenly gave a combination of a hiccup and an extremely loud belch that trailed off into a whimper as she clutched at her stomach.

"M' fuckin' stomach huuuuuurrrrtsss."

"I'll get you some Pepto Bismol when we get home."

"It huuuuuurrrts!" she wailed as you sped closer to home.

"Yes, alcohol does that."

"... Do ya hate me??" she asked.

"What? No! Why would I hate you?"

"S'cuz I's stupid tonight." she hiccuped again. "Y' should hate me! I's fuckiiiin'... garbage."

"No, you're not."

"YES! Yes, I fuckin' am garbage! I shoulda been chucked off the side o' the fuckin' buildin' when I's a baby! School's fuckin' awful! People're fuckin' awful! Everythin's fuckin' awful 'cept you 'n' I keep messing' shit up with you and I jus' fuckin' love you so so much so it's extra bad!!"

You were silent. She... what? You pulled up to your house and helped Dawn out of the car.

"See?? I fuckin' mess' it up already!! Ya hate me!" She tore away from you, went behind the parked car and collapsed behind it. "Jus' fuckin' run me over! Ri' now! I don' care!"

"Dawn, get up."

At that point, Dawn started flat out crying. She covered her face in the crook of her elbow, curled up and bawled. You bent down, grabbed her arm, and yanked her up. She yelped as you harshly pulled her to her feet.

"We're going inside. NOW." you said. You hated when drunk people were pathetic and Dawn was no exception.

You half-carried, half-dragged her inside and dumped her on the couch. You marched to the medicine cabinet and dug out some Pepto Bismol. Then you read the instructions and growled when it said it couldn't be taken with alcohol. You began to dig through the cabinet, looking at all the medicine and every one of them had the same warning; Do not take with alcohol, do not take with alcohol, do not take with alcohol.

Finally, you decided the best thing to do was wait it out.

"Dawn," you called as you went back to the living room. "I couldn't-..."

Dawn had fallen asleep. You sighed and sat next to her. You propped pillows on either side to stop her from lying flat. Her head lolled onto your shoulder and caused you to blush a small bit.

"(Name)," she said quietly. Oh, so she wasn't sleeping? She tilted her head and looked at you. Before you registered what was happening, she leaned in and kissed you.

Dawn's lips were soft. They tasted like alcohol. You could feel her orange lipstick transferring onto your lips. It felt so nice.

"I fuckin' love you, (Name). I jus'... I fuckin' love you sooo much..." she snuggled into you and you felt her breathing slow down.

You wondered if she spoke the truth, or this had just been alcohol-induced arousal talking.

~~~~~

The next morning, you could hear vomiting in the bathroom. You made your way over there and held Dawn's messy hair back while she spewed her guts into the toilet.

"I... I'm never drinkin' agAIN!" she was overcome by a wave of nausea and she retched.

"Oh God..." she panted. "Oh Christ on a fuckin' bike, this is awful."

"Just get it all out, 'kay? I have just the thing."

You tied her hair up into a messy bun with a hair thingie then went downstairs. Time to get to work. You started cooking bacon and eggs and you heated water for ginger tea. When the water was steaming, you poured it and scooped sugar into the tea.

Dawn staggered downstairs just as you finished cooking. She clung to the railing.

"Smells... smells good." she managed.

"Here you go," you slid a plate full of bacon and eggs toward her and set the tea in front of her as well. "Best cure for a hangover... according to my dad."

Dawn gave a weak laugh and started eating.

"You know," she said after a few bites. "I think I remember some of last night."

"Really?" you asked. You tried not to sound anxious.

"Bits and pieces. Did I actually lay down behind your car and ask you to run me over?"

"Yep," you said shortly. "And you started bawling when I told you to get up."

"Wow. Alcohol apparently turns me into a gargantuan crybaby."

"Something like that."

"Did I flirt with you?"

"..."

"Oh fuck. I did, didn't I? Dammit, could you please eliminate that from your memory? Dear God, why??" She put her face in her hands. What you could see was turning bright red.

"I mean..."

'Now or never,' you thought.

"I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it."

Dawn's hands dropped away and she stared at you, eyes wide.

"Wait, really?"

"Well, now I know that you're a good kisser. But the one thing I am skeptical about," As you spoke, you sat down next to her and scooted close. "Is when you said that you love me. Did you mean in a best friends way or...?"

Dawn's gaze dropped to her hands.

"Oh my God," she said under her breath. You noticed that her cheeks were going from red to pink.

"Uh... yeah... that wasn't really the liquor talkin'. I mean, bein' intoxicated helped get that confession out of me... I, um..."

Dawn was quiet for a long time.

"... How... What would you think if I meant... I mean, when I was concedin' all this... If I meant I liked you as... more than a friend?"

That was all you needed to hear. You grabbed her by the shirt, pulled her in and kissed her. You didn't care if instead of booze, she now tasted like grease. Her lips were still soft.

When you pulled away, she blinked, dazedly.

"Wow," she said. "That was... wow. You're good."

"There's your answer, angel."

"... Nice."

You treat me like your boyfriend
And trust me like a, like a very best friend
You kiss me like your boyfriend
You call me up like you would your best friend
You turn me on like you would your boyfriend
But I don't wanna be your secret anymore

~~~3 years later~~~

"Look at yooooou!" squealed your friend, (friend's name).

"You look like a princess!" your mom breathed.

"Thanks," you said, shyly. "I'm so nervous!"

"It'll be fine!" Your mother stuck her head out and motioned at the organist. The classic "Here comes the bride" began playing. The doors flew open, revealing you in your pearly white, princess dress. The guests stood and turned to look at you, all smiling.

And up at the altar stood Dawn. Her ball gown swished as she turned to gaze upon you. Her silver belt sparkled at her waist. Her long golden waves had been gathered back and curled. And of course, her pointy shades flashed in the light, but when you approached, she quickly pulled them off and hooked them on the sweetheart dip in her dress.

When you were halfway down the aisle, Dawn blinked a couple times, like she did when she realized something. She suddenly gave a whistle to the organist, who stopped playing. She made shooing motions with her hands. People looked around confusedly. The organist sighed in exasperation then reached down next to the organ and pulled out a boombox. You had a fleeting realization before the organist hit the play button.

"KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE!"

It blared out of the boombox at full volume. You grinned as the electric guitar rang through the chapel and you hiked up your skirts and hurried to the altar. Dawn took your hands and grinned back at you.

"I'm so glad you're my wife!" you said as the music was shut off and the minister began speaking.