Hairspray Cinderella

7 || Playgrounds

We had been driving for what felt like hours and my eyes were drooping from the warmth and gentle hum of the car. I forced myself to stay awake by watching the midnight-ish scenery pass by me but it only made my sleepiness worse. "Do you guys mind telling me where in the world we're going?" I finally asked, despite my pride choking up my throat.

"Hm... you wouldn't believe it, but we've been waiting for you to speak and tell us where you want to go" Nate said before chuckling. The words settled in and my jaw locked before I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him hard against the passenger seat. "Ow! What the hell was that for?" 

I gave him an exasperated look. Seriously?

I turned to James as well who looked forward, 'obliviously' driving and looking cute and innocent and- for fuck's sake. "You're not safe, James Duke. Why are you even here? Don't you have football practice in the morning or something? I don't know you're popular. I have no idea why you're here and-"

"Nate told me you're really good with advice... and I kind of really need it" James interrupted me. The heaviness and seriousness in his voice made me stop nagging. He did?  

My eyes questioned Nathan but he refused to look back at me, instead he played with his hand out the window. "Oh. Well, yeah sure. Uhm- Advice about what exactly?" I asked, awkwardly. My anger and sleepiness slowly dissolved. Instead, curiosity and professionalism came over me. It became a protocol for me to just listen and give my input, but never get attached. This time, I had to put my wall up really high because this was James we were talking about. 

"I-uh, I need you to promise me you won't tell anyone about it. Deal?" he asked first, before bringing up his hand and holding out his pinky. With no hesitation, I linked my pinky with his and sealed it. "Okay, alright." I took a nanosecond longer before letting go of his pinky.

"My family is pretty screwed up. I'll give you that disclaimer. I just don't know what to do anymore and it's been getting worse lately. I know a lot of people think everything's great and perfect but it's just--" he cut himself off by running his fingers through his hair and taking a deep breath. 

"Take it slow, James. Okay? First, we look for a place then we talk. You alright with that?" A gentle voice that didn't sound like me sang through my lips and echoed in the car. There was silence and hesitation but he nodded. "How about the park? Nothing bad happens in parks, usually. I think." Paranoia slightly crept through me but it resulted to a slight chuckle from both of them. 

"Yeah, that sounds great" James smiled and took a turn somewhere. I turned to Nathan who in turn, turned to me and smiled. Right. Okay. This was something serious. I needed to clear my head of whatever biases I had and give proper and logical advice. But there was the pity and the anxiety. I mean sure, I give decent advice and I'm a pretty good listener but there were professional psychiatrists for that. Nate was here for that, they are best friends after all. But me? And Nate was here. That's what bothered me the most. 

Did they do this all the time? Was it so serious that he would need Nate for this? Was Nate part of the problem? So many questions but I kept my lips sealed. Instead, I tugged the jacket around me tighter, letting the smell of James envelope me. Okay, maybe not a good idea and that sounded really creepy. Although it wasn't my fault he sprayed on too much for my liking and that he has decent choices in cologne. The headlights and the car engine was killed and we stepped out of the car, the wind immediately welcoming us. Thanks.

The only sounds I could hear were my slippers against the grass and the soft hum of the wind. I saw a swing through the darkness and lit up before running for it, practically calling dibs. I sat on it and yelped at the bite of the cold metal. I heard laughter from them but I refused to look at them. Instead, I used the hem of the jacket as a barrier for my skin from the metal. I smiled contented, looking at them trying to saunter over coolly. How could they not be excited when there are swings here and they're all ours? Cool kids.

James sat on the swing next to mine and Nate went over to sit at the top of the slide, being only a few inches longer than his legs. "Okay, spill the beans, kid" I started off, trying to sound chill but it just made me sound like a dork. Great going, Natalie.  He took a deep breathe, rubbing his eyes with both hands before letting go and staring at the ground.

"My parents are getting a divorce" he huffed in one breath. I blinked at him, waiting for him to continue only to realize that was it. How do I react to that? I was expecting something worse like child abuse or something but obviously, separation obviously hurts as well.

"How do you feel about it?" I asked, playing on the safe side. I stare at him intently as he continued to stare at the ground. Somehow the streetlights around the park frame his lashes really well and really pronounces his jawline-

"It sucks. Since I was a kid, they've been my idols in every aspect of my life. I'm trying to be an engineer like my dad, great at cooking like my mom, and love like they did. My whole life, I've been looking for a girl that I would look at the way my dad looks at mom" He explained, holding on to the chains on both sides of him and swinging slightly. I swallowed, the corners of my mouth tipping down. "Don't give me that pity look. I hate it." He bit.

"It's not pity, I think. I get it and I empathize" I told him softly. "Do you want to tell me more or...?" I trailed off, hoping he would because there wasn't much for me to give advice on. I felt like the best I could do was listen. He turned to look at me as if confused then his eyes softened.

"I'm sorry. I know it's probably worse for you and I sound like a brat complaining about this-" he started but I frowned at what he said. 

"What do you mean it's worse for me?" I interrupted, my gentle voice nowhere to be heard. I stared at him then realized who else we were with... Nathan. I turned to look at Nathan whose eyes were widened. He's the one to blame. I didn't even want to know what he told JD or WHY he would even bother telling other people sh*t about my family. That wasn't his business. I felt the anger heat my face and ears as I stared at him, my jaw clenched. 

"I'm sorry. Oh my god, I shouldn't have said anything!" He exclaimed, getting in between me and Nate. I didn't realize I had stood up from my swing and started walking towards him. Suddenly, I didn't feel the cold wind against my legs anymore. 

"This is not your fault." I said calmly through gritted teeth as I glared daggers at Nate, making sure he knew what else he did to me. I turned to JD with a softer gaze, not just because I had feelings for him but because he was the primary victim here. "Your parents' divorce is not your fault" I told him.

He looked taken aback, his eyes glazing over a bit. "Your parents may be separating but it's not your fault. Their love for you is still there, they're still your idols." I chided. It felt like that was all he needed me to say, and if I'm honest, that's all I want to say before I go back home. I don't want to be anywhere near Nathan, I could still feel my anger in my throat but I swallowed it down, not wanting to have JD as a casualty. 

A single tear dropped down from his eye and he turned away. I reached out and gave him a hug, my eyes averted from Nathan who got off the slide and started walking towards us. I could feel JD's breathing slowing as he tried not to cry more. "It's okay to cry, y'know" I told him against his shoulder. I could feel my heart going crazy at the fact that I'm hugging him right now but I know it's inappropriate as hell. Also, he smells really good. 

"I know" He sighed into my hair before he pulled away, "I'll drop you off at your place now. Thank you for coming to talk to me even if it's just that and even if I cause some type of fight between you and Nate".

I shook my head, "I'm done with Nathan. I'll just take a cab if it means I don't have to be in the same car as him right now" I told JD with a flat tone. The hurt and the anger of all the bullshit that Nathan keeps pulling on me is still stuck in my throat. He looked over at Nathan, unsure of what to do before I started walking towards the road. I could hear their voices behind me before one of them called out, but I kept walking.

"Nat!" this time louder and with footsteps behind me, then a hand on my arm gently tugging at me. "Let me bring you home" JD told me, I saw Nate walking towards the other end of the road with his head down. I swallowed and turned back to him before nodding.