Yours, Alexis Harding (MAJOR EDITS WILL BEGIN SHORTLY)

Chapter Seven

   Hayden,

   I rewatched the Gilmore Girls revival season for the first time since we binged it the day it came out together. And spoiler alert, I cried. A lot. Especially at the wedding scene. Luke and Lorelai were meant to be, and I really thought you and I were going to be too.

   It's been at least two weeks since my last letter, I haven't been able to write about Malibu until today. Until I heard Reflecting Light by Sam Phillips, and I saw Lorelai, Luke, and Rory running around the wedding venue, the I dos, and the classic town gazebo framing. I remembered the Gilmore Girls playlist you made me, the one we played on our long drive down to California, one of four tapes you placed in your big Christmas present to me. The basket full of merchandise only God knows how old, A Nostalgic's Heaven, you'd said.

   We'd woken up to your dad's singing, a typical Christmas morning tradition in your household. We walked down the stairs, sat for breakfast, and said a prayer. I never knew your family was religious, but you seemed just as into it as they are, and I loved that about you.

   After we ate all the pancakes and eggs our stomachs could take, we all moved into the family room where we exchanged gifts and thank yous. Your mom gave me a necklace she said your dad's mom had given her, in the hopes that someday she'd give it to the girl her own son loved. I cried then, and I cried the day I mailed it back to you to return to her. It was the most beautiful and thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me. Your sister had given me a little photo album with a bunch of photos of you as a kid, growing up, and a few of us together. I still have it, tucked away. Your dad had given us a joint gift, a weekend away at Disney World that we never went on together. Then you gave me the infamous basket.

   Your parents seemed to love the Instant Date Night box I curated just for them, and Celia still texts me whenever she wears the earrings I got her. Yours was the one I had to most fun thinking up and the absolute hardest to select without your own expert musical knowledge. I heard you still use the ukelele for open mic nights, I'm glad you do.

   At exactly 9:00am, you told your parents we needed to drive back up to Seattle, that my parents had come home early and you wanted me to spend at least a couple of hours of Christmas with them. I still don't know why you lied, and I've never questioned it. I was just excited to have a secret trip just for us.

   About thirteen hours in the car, an absolute nightmare any other day, but that Christmas day was probably my favorite of all time. We'd played all the different playlists you'd made me, just leaving the Gilmore Girls one on for the rest of the ride.

   By the end, we had both memorized every single song on the tape, especially Reflecting Light. That ended up being the song we always thought of when we thought of Malibu, and it always will be the song that reminds me of you, and only you (minus Luke and Lorelai, of course).

   It was about 10:00pm when finally arrived in Malibu, and we drove straight to the beach. The sun was down, and it was practically deserted, but we went out, set down a towel, and laid down on it. We stared up at the stars for what felt like hours, when it was probably just ten minutes. Then, I got up and kicked off my shoes, and ran towards the water.

   "The sky is so blue for nighttime, don't you think?" I said, my feet in the cold water.

   "What?" you asked, looking up to see for yourself.

   "It's like..." I paused, "by some weird miracle, the sky is even more blue in Malibu."

   You held me, then. You kissed me, pulling me into you, then tripped backwards, dragging me down with you.

   The waves started crashing into us, laying there laughing. Both of us got so wet in the cold air, we were bedridden for days when we got back to Seattle.

   "I'm so happy that you brought me here," I'd told you, "I've never been to the beach quite like this before."

   "I've never been happy quite like I am with you." you replied, right before you went back to kissing me.

   The next thing I remember is waking up in a strange room, your bare back to me, your breathing even. I sat up, and it took a few seconds for it to register we were in Malibu. Malibu.

   I looked at the time, it was about noon the next day. I remember I thought we were both insane for going for it, but I never once regretted it. I changed into a different pair of pants and the lightest sweater I could find, and went out for a walk to the building nearby, buying us both some snacks for the roadtrip back up.

   We took a few days to get back up to Seattle, timing it perfectly to a day before my parents got back. We saw every little cheesy roadtrip landmark, stopped at the dodgiest diners, and you even won me a big purple plastic ring at a claw machine in one of our stops. We sang every song on every tape we had available in that car at the top of our lungs. It was heavenly in every way possible.

   I don't know if you remember or not, but it was one of the last good days we had before I left on my trip. Things got hard and I'm terrified of having to relive them in another one of these letters.

Yours,

Alexis.