Dear fan,
you have been the only thing I can depend on. You help me keep my cool.
Dear emotions,
Can you maybe chill? Calm your tits and move on from that one time a dog died in a movie. It was like three years ago, so its not like it's a recent wound. You don't need to cry every time our boyfriend says something nice. In fact, you don't need to cry at all. Bottle up those emotions, you pansy.
Dear sony,
What the hell? Why would you do this? Who thought that the emoji movie was a good idea? Are you exploiting teens for monetary gain? Why did you try to make it edgy? Why did you make the meh emoji the star of this whole production? Why did you say that the eggplant emoji was one that was never used? The eggplant is wonderful in a sexual context!
Dear Youtube,
For the first time, you did something right. You introduced me to some ding dongs at Polygon dot com who I am now trash for. Specifically: Griffin, Nick, and Patrick, who are all soft boys. Soft, good boys.
YOU ARE READING
Bluh
AcakThis starts out bad but i SWEAR it gets better. It's just a bunch of weird shit that i think about. i think there's a few zodiac things in there but idk
