Outcast

Ruffled

I follow Price down to his office, a small box room with two desks and a row of filing cabinets. He gestures for me to sit at one of the desks, I stand still with my hands in my pocket - he doesn't seem to mind.

1 new text - Ben

Are you going to reply to me or not? I've had a phone call and I'm coming in for a meeting at 11.

11 was in 10 minutes.

Was he coming to find me also? Or would he just go sit in a room and talk about me. It was Ben, so he was more likely to talk about me.

"So Ethan" Mr. Price says taking a seat at his desk. "What'd you want to go and do with your life?"

I shrug.

"Surely there's something you enjoy? Something you're good at?"

Again, I shrug

I've always wondered where my life is going. Not because I don't have any control over it. Just because I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go. Was I going to finish school? Was I going to get any good grades?

Was I going to get any grades?

"What about Photography?" I raise my head and look at him "You like photography?"

I shrug "It's just a new way to express myself."

I was lying, murder was the new way.

"I've seen your folders, you're not bad at it"

"You implying I'm not good at it either?"

"No Ethan, I-"

He takes a deep breath, I look out the window at the sun glistening and the clouds floating along.

Knock Knock

"Hey... Mr. Price is it?" the familiar voice of Ben echoes from the door. "and the man of the hour. Ethan"

I get up and turn towards the door, Ben stretches his arm out stopping me from going any further.

"Ben-" I growl

"Don't even think about running away from this one Ethan"

I turn around and use the door that lead onto the courtyard, walk up the stairs and out the office doors. It was stupid and selfish of me but I didn't know how else to handle things without murder or violence. Maybe I'll just go for a walk and then come back, Ben should've gone and I could just get on with the rest of the day.

I hope.

***

12.30pm

I'd been walking aimlessly through the lanes for the last hour. Ben phoned me twice and sent me three messages but stopped trying when I ignored him. It was nice to know he cared but sometimes it was annoying.

I didn't want to go back but I needed a couple GCSEs to finally get where I wanted to be.

"Ethan, welcome back" Mr. Price says as I walk back into the office. Ben was nowhere to be seen and his car wasn't in the parking lot.

"Where's Ben" I demand

"He's gone, nice fella him."

"what did he have to say?"

"Why don't we go downstairs and talk about it?"

"Because I like being so close to the exit"

"Ethan-"

Price holds out his hand and gestures to walk down the stairs I hesitate and follow him with my hands in my pockets and my head down, I quickly realised it was a bad decision to come back here.

We walk into prices' office, a wave of heat hits me as the door shuts. Does this guy not open his windows? The sun was streaming in through the blinds and reflecting onto the walls.

"Mr. Price you're needed in Maths - Something about a kid causing ruckus and we can't find Mr. Richmonds" A little kid, probably in year 8, asks breathing heavily.

"Can I just go back home or?" I ask

"Go to your lesson, English? Catch up with you in a bit" Price says as he leave the room.

I catch the door with my foot, sigh and then walk up the stairs into the English department. Class had only just started so it wasn't like I was missing much.

"Ethan? Take a seat here," Mr. Reed offers by tapping a chair in front of him "Thought you were excluded?"

"Yeah well, you know the system here" I retort and take a seat.

"What" the familiar voice of Emilia echoes "the fuck, is that doing back here?"

"I am a person you know... With feelings"

"Emilia please sit down."

"not with him here! He might attack me"

"The fuck are you on about?" I say getting back up from my chair and spinning around to face her,

"Ethan please" Mr. Reed says holding his hand in front of me, I return to the seat. "Emilia if you would like, you can go and work in isolation for the lesson-"

"Well thats better than being in here"

"And have an after school detention for the rest of the week"

"That's bullshit!" Emilia shouts before storming out of the class with her bag

"Was that my fault? Im sorry" I ask curiously

"No, no no no Ethan. It wasn't your fault. Please sit" Mr. Reed assures me.

Maybe she was just lost without her boyfriend being around, it's not like anyone could put up with her inconsistent mood swings and her need to rely on other people. I partly feel like I've done Max a favor, dismissing him from the hell that was Emilia.

We're learning about sentence types and how they're effective in creative writing. Normally my mind would be wandering about death or murder, but currently I was focus.

I was focused on English, on a lesson; in school.

We get assigned work sheets and the class falls silent, Mr. Reed sits at his desk and writes an email - i assume it's to our head of year, Mr. Platt, about Emilia's outburst towards me.

The only sound that could be heard was the scribble of graphite and the click of keyboard keys.

For once I finally feel like a student who understood the day and the lesson and that suddenly everything was coming together as a whole.