LUNA | Van McCann - COMPLETED

Chapter 14. Luna

"I can't be." I sighed, throwing my head back into the pillow lifting my hands to my head in disbelief. "The tests, they said they I was negative. I can't, what's Van going to say? He's going to hate me, he's going to think I'm stupid, he's going to leave me like all the other guys in my life. I've fucked it up big time." I ranted on.

Lucy's hand still feeling my stomach, gently pressing around my stomach, as soft as she could, trying to avoid the bruises.

"Doesn't feel like a food baby." She shook her head and her brown eyes met mine. She frowned and saw I wasn't too happy with the situation I had been put it.

"What's Van going to think? He'll hate me for this.." I sighed again, closing my eyes. I thought of how me and Van could raise this baby together, being a happy family, then maybe have more but I couldn't. I couldn't see that far into the future to see if it will work out that way.

"Luna, he's not going to hate you."

"How do you know?"

"I just know."

"And how do you know it's not a food baby? I've eaten so much these few weeks." I inquisitively asked, opening my eyes, turning my head towards her worried yet calm face.

"I did child care as well as health and social care in college, remember?" She giggled, nudging my arm. I laughed unenthusiastically.

"Oh..yeah." I fake smiled as she tried to reassure me with a hug.

"It's going to be fine, now lets go get you cleaned up." She let go of my body and dragged me carefully up to my feet, one arm around my waist and the other linked to my hand. She helped me walk into the small bathroom which the hotel supplied and ran warm water for a bath.

"Shout if you need me?" I nodded with a convincing smile and she smiled before closing the door, leaving me to my own tranquility.

I undressed myself then stepped into the white engraved bath, using the mental handles for support. I pressed myself to the cold back of the bath, making me shiver, then I relaxed all of the muscles in my body to feel a sense of relief, but was it really when I had the stress of having an unborn human being inside of me?

I guess I wasn't in tranquility then? From this unborn human being, I know it would do no harm, yet it could destroy a relationship I have with the one guy I loved. A foetus, not even a baby yet - is it? All I could think about was what if I see the horror on Van's face as I tell him that I'm pregnant, but so, it could go the completely opposite way. So should I be happy, or sad? I felt myself feel a sense of heaviness in my eyes as water began to fall, tears? Since when did I cry? The sink lights above the mirror lit the room with a dull yellow glare, making me feel as if there was no hope for me and this baby. The water ran cold, as so did my body.

I've got to prepare myself for it to go really really good or really really bad.

I can do this.

Before I knew it, my peace had gone and my thoughts were interrupted by Lucy knocking at the door.

"Lu, you ok in there?" She asked, popping her head around the door, holding a white fluffy towel. I nodded and her eyebrows furrowed, coming in closer as I began to help myself out of the lukewarm bath, she focused her attention to my eyes.

"Have you been crying?" This was the most I had seen Lucy be concerned about me. I took the towel from her hands, not caring if she saw my nude body stood in front of her. I quickly wrapped the towel around my figure, letting the towel absorb the specks of water from my skin, letting its heat radiate onto my skin, making the goosebumps settle, my fingers rubbed away the dried tears what rested on my cheeks and under my eyes.

"What time is it?" I asked, feeling as though a whole day and night had passed. I noticed that Lucy had took it upon herself to change the sheets on the bed, where my pool of blood laid. What could that mean? Blood isn't a good sign? I thought I was still on my period- which to my conclusion now, I was never.

"Seven forty-five." She held out some clean clothes.

"Oh." I thought it was later than that. I accepted the clothes and began to put them on, letting the towel what was once soft and fuzzy, fall to the floor. It now belonged to the floor as I pulled over a loose t-shirt what was too long for my body with some underwear.

"Lucy, I don't want anyone to know, not even Van." I made sure I made eye contact, letting her know I wasn't joking and that she should keep her mouth shut.  She nodded and I climbed into the freshly made bed with her body hugging mine, her hand rested to my stomach, my eyes slowly began to close and my breathing calm, I drifted off into a sleep.

My mind awoke me. My eyes suddenly open as I heard a loud bang against the hotel door. It opened and in came Bondy stumbling around, drunk. Benji looked dead from the outside to in, Bob looked like the last time I saw him - neatly dressed in some skinnies, a t-shirt and a burgundy denim jacket with fur lining the inside. Van was the last one to stroll in, looking like he had been in 60 degree weather. I closed my eyes, pretending that I was still asleep. I felt Lucy's hand move and she sat up stretching.

"Is Luna ok?" I heard Van ask Lucy.

"She's just ill, I think it's the jet lag or something." I knew Lucy had my back. Despite her neediness and pettiness, she is a really good friend.

"Oh..how long has she been asleep for then?" He asked, I felt his weight sit at the bottom of the bed, below my feet.

"Ever since you left." She sighed tiredly.

"She's not been right for a few weeks..has she mentioned anything to you?"

"Not one thing, just that she's tired." I felt Lucy's presence stay by my side. I knew I'd be safe.

"Ok. Well I guess I'm not sleeping in the bed then." Van's presence left the edge of the bed, saying good night to Lucy before she tucked herself back in with me. Van didn't sleep on the bed, well, couldn't since Benji and Bondy had sprawled out behind my body on the opposite side of the bed.

"You're secret is safe with me, Lu."