melody | your lie on april fanfiction

¢нαρтєя 15 // тнє ¢яυєℓту σf тнє ωσяℓ∂.

I leaned on my knuckle as my drowsy eyes stared at the performance, here I am, at Nagi's school, waiting for the both of them to take the stage.

My breakdown burned onto my mind.

I've been trying to forget it.

I've been lacking sleep.

I hate. I hate how it all feels. I want to stop but.. I don't know. I don't know what to do. Kousei. He have been ignoring for the past few days. What did I do? Was I really that unwanted?

Did he really.. Love me?

Or was just all a lie? I've been doing everything. I tried and tried and tried. I'm so tired. Why am I always wrong? What is so hard on just giving what I want?

I just always wanted to be happy, that couldn't be given to me. There's always something to ruin it.

We were so happy, so joyful, that we found out I can play the piano, I had a potential. Me and my parents bonded more often, but that changed, they became obsessed on me winning, to the point, where they'll hurt me.

I was so glad, so so glad that things might be back the way it was. My father and I, I thought.. We were going to have a much better life than before, a new change, a new start. Just one week, one week just passed and it turned the other way, my father, was taken away from me. From my hands, from my grasp, where I can't hold or talk to him anymore.

Meeting Kaori again, it was great, so happy, her positive energy always helped me. Just as always.. It had to change. It always has to.

Nothing helps anymore. The caring words of my aunt. None of it helps, the support of my friends. Nothing. I feel nothing. Eventually the one I cherish as a sister will be taken away from me. She knew it. She stated the cold hearted truth in front of me.

Kousei.. I don't know, I just don't know. I--..

"Y/N?" Watari stated worriedly his hand waving in front of me. I looked around me seeing the some already left and others were starting to leave.

I rubbed my eyes, "Yeah?.." I asked.

"You fell asleep" Watari said and I looked at him in a confused manner.

"Your point is?..."

"It's very unusual of you, you never fall asleep on competitions or shows like this" He answered yet with the worried look and Tsubaki nods.

I waved it off. "I'm just tired don't worry" I answered and smiled.

They just nod and stood up me following.

~•~

"Did I do great Y/N?!" Nagi asked cheerfully.

I smiled sheepishly, "Gomen, I fell asleep"

Nagi's eyes widen as well as Kousei and Auntie.

"You-"

"Fell-"

"Asleep on a show?"

The three of them stated in surprise. He talked to me..

I just nodded.

"Let's just go home, I still have lots to do" I answered and left not bothering to look if they followed me or not.

~•A Week Later•~

I layed on my bed, my pillow getting soaked from my wet hair. A towel drapped on my shoulders as I tapped on my phone checking my messages. Another sigh escaped my lips as I let my phone fall on my bed now laying on my side.

I closed my eyes starting to drift to sleep.

Till my phone rang loudly, I just groaned and closed my eyes tightly.

3 freaking minutes the person kept on damn calling.

I grabbed my phone amd tapped the green button.

"What?" I answered quite harshly.

I can tell that the person shrieked in surprise. "It's Watari.. I was just going to ask if you want to visit Kaori tomorrow? With Kousei?"

A minute of silence fell on the line.

"Yeah, sure. Just meet me at the hospital" I answered and ended the call.

With Kousei..

Why did I even agreed?

Everytime, everytime I hear his name my heart aches. Just knowing, hearing it come from him. It broke me. It killed me inside.

I once again visited Kaori after a few days, I fell asleep as always, but by midnight, I woke up from a door closing. My back was facing them.

He confessed, it broke me. Killed me.

Tears started to stream down my face as his words kept on repeating in my head.

"I.. I don't know Kaori, but I think.. I.. Like you"

He, he could've broke up with me, but that wouldn't make anything better anyways, right? A sob escaped my lips as I covered my mouth.

The last piece of sanity I have was gone. The two persons who I cared dearly the most. They left me. Hanging on the air.

Happiness, it's a rare word for me. It was never given to me for a long time, always just in a short period of time.

I thought we could be happy, together, but that was so selfish for me to say. How I wished I can turn back time.

Where I was happy, where I can keep a smile on my face for a day, where... He was holding my hand tightly, where his soft lips was placed on mine.

That's just how much the cruel world is. It's unfair.

And I won't be able to change that.

~•~

Uhh.. Gomenasai, I am so damn cruel. I know '~' I haven't updated for awhile. School was harder than I thought, it sucks and exams is coming up as well. Cry.

So yeah :D kill me for ruining the Y/N X Kousei ship.