melody | your lie on april fanfiction

¢нαρтєя 16 // ѕнαттєяє∂

I stared at the worksheet in front of me. The class was quite, the only thing I can hear was the ticking of the clock.

My hands hovered over the paper as I wrote the needed answers. I tried avoiding everyone, but I really had to agree to visit Kaori with Watari and... Kousei.

Everyone was suspicious to what was the reason why I am acting this way, Kousei he avoided more than before. It just broke me more. I hated the feeling, I hated it, so damn much, I try to forget everything, just for one moment but I can never be able to do that.

The bell rang and I stood up from my seat grabbing my bag and passing the paper to the teacher, I walked down the hall to my locker. I opened my locker and put my books inside and grabbed the books I needed for studying.

I glanced at the picture attached on the door of my locker, it felt like my heart was stabbed by a knife, it was picture of me and Kousei, on our first date, I held out a peace sign with a wide smile and Kousei was smiling.

I ripped the picture and put it in the middle of my books.

I closed my locker and yelped.

Tsubaki smiled sheepishly, "Gomen..."

I sighed, "What is it?" I asked simply and walked down the hall Tsubaki following.

"Do you want to come with us? At the coffee shop?" She asked skipping and stopped in front of me.

I walked passed her. "No."

She frowned and walked beside me, "Why not?"

"I still need to study Tsubaki" I answered.

"Eh? We still don't have exams till two months" she said confusedly.

"Purposes" I answered.

"What purposes?"

I groaned and closed my eyes tightly. "Just leave me alone!" I said in gritted teeth as her eyes widen.

I left, just like I always do.

~•~

I leaned on the wall outside the hospital waiting for Watari to arrive.

"Y/N!" Watari screamed.

I looked at him with dull eyes. "Don't scream idiot"

"I'm not an idiot!" he answered and stopped in front of me Kousei following behind him his head hanging low.

"Yes you are" I answered.

"Why are you studying a lot lately anyways?" he asked changing the subject.

"Stop bothering me." I answered glaring at him. "Don't make me regret coming with you"

He sighed. "You really changed..." he whispered but still audible for me.

I climbed the stairs faster and reached the floor to Kaori's room panting since I did climb a few floors... There's an elevator. I sighed... Idiot.

Still with my uneven breaths I walked to Kaori's room, with an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

A nurse ran passed me bumping my shoulder. I watched her...

Come into Kaori's room, doctors, nurses were rushing in and out. My heart sank.

My eyes were wide and my hands were shaking, I froze in place as I stood in front of her room. Not enough time for me to notice that they closed the door, last thing I saw was her hand dropping.

Dropping. One thing that I would never want to experience, that I would never want to see.

I hear something drop to the floor. I looked to my side seeing Kousei and Watari. A paperbag that Kousei was holding dropped to the floor, a paperbag that I didn't notice earlier.

His hands were shaking, mine was aswell. Even though I hated it. I walked to him placing my hands on him.

"D-don't worry ev-everything will b--" I was cut off as he pulled his hands away from me harshly.

He clenched his hands tightly. "Don't you just understand?" he asked.

I stayed silent.

"All of what happened between us was nothing. I never meant anything" he said still looking down.

My eyes were wide for a second, even though it felt like my heart was shattered to pieces, I smiled. A sad smile.

"I knew" I answered my voice cracking in the end. "That's just what made it worst, I knew, I knew that something was wrong from the start but I still tried" I smiled an closed eye smile, a tear slipping from one of my eye.

In reality, I was falling piece by piece inside, I was dying every minute passed, every second, every millisecond.

I opened my eyes, his staring at mine with shock.

"That night, you confessed to me, you were uneasy" I said still trying to keep the smile on my face. "What hurt so much is that I was always being lied to, till I get used to it" my lips quivered in the end.

"I just wanted it to last longer. I just wanted to be happy. Why?" I asked looking down as tears slipped from my eyes, a hand clenched over my chest.

I shooked my head as Kousei was about to say something, a sorrowful look on his face.

"I'm sorry, I tried." I said as I ran pass them. I ignored it, I ignored there yell of my name.

I exited the hospital only to see that the rain was pouring hard. The weather it changed so quickly. I ignored it, I ran under the pouring rain as my hair and clothes got soaked.

I ran inside my house and locked the door behind me, dropping my bag and removing my shoes carelessly as I ran up my room. I dropped to my knees as I clenched my hands tightly. A sob escaped my lips. My body shaked, from crying and because I was still soaking wet.

Since I met Kaori, I knew from that time, she always said that everything was fine, but it was never was, she was jealous of me. I knew from the start, but I kept playing, I kept playing the piano.

If... If I stopped competing much earlier, maybe she would've tried so hard. Maybe she wouldn't be on that hospital bed. Maybe she wouldn't have collapse on her performance. Maybe... Maybe she was still laughing beside me.

I covered my ears with my hands, my eyes still wide and my tears wouldn't stop even though I wipe it away harshly.

"Maybe... Just maybe, I wouldn't be so broken right now"

~•~

I'm really sorry for the crappy chapters, this book is really coming to an end. Cry. Yet I am happy because I'm going to have a first book that's completed :D. *cough cough* Not really that proud of this book.

I changed some parts yokaaiii?

See you next chapter~!