Book 1: What We Had in the Beginning

Chapter 17: Numb

**THIS CHAPTER MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE**

The sun should start to rise any second but until then I stare up at the ceiling, twirling the Soldier's knife in my hands. I've been up for the past 2 hours but instead of going up to the training room, I decided to just lay in bed until Nikolay comes to get us. My mind has been, numb. I've been thinking about all sorts of things for the past few hours but I just feel so indifferent about it all for some reason. Looking over at the other girls I find them sound asleep. A sense of peacefulness washes over me as the first ray of light shines through the window. I only get to enjoy the peace and quiet for a few more seconds before I hear the sound of footsteps in the kitchen. Placing the Soldier's knife under my mattress, I cuff my hand to the bed and close my eyes. Nikolay reaches the final step and stands there for a moment, quiet. I then realize that this isn't Nikolay because he can't keep his mouth shut for more than 30 seconds. The person then starts to stroll up and down the line of beds, stopping every few feet. Instead of yelling to wake us up, he walks up to Yelena's bed and uncuffs her hand first. One by one he takes our cuffs off, then stands at the front of the room.

"Vstavay damy! U vas yest' 3 minuty! (Get up ladies! You have 3 minutes!)" The officer shouts at the top of his lungs. A KGB officer stands with his hands behind his back and his face blank, void of any emotions. He has blonde hair, black beady eyes, and it looks as though he hasn't shaved in a few days. The officer doesn't look twice at any of us, almost like he could care less. He then turns and leaves the basement. A few girls look at each other in confusion but instead of asking questions we just get ready for the day. A few minutes later the officer returns and we get in line to be led to the dining room. The officer leads the way, not looking back at us once.

When we enter the dining room, Ivan and a few Red Room and KGB officers are waiting for us. The room is filled with an intensity that makes me not want to make eye contact with anyone. We take our seats at the table and wait for our food. The room is quiet, almost like everyone's holding their breath. Peaking up towards the front of the room, I see the Red Room officers glancing nervously at the KGB officers. I know they're intimidated, they should be. The KGB has a reputation. As we eat I notice the other girls glancing at each other, a silent conversation passing between them.

The sound of heavy footsteps break the silence and everyone turns to find the Soldier entering the room. To my amusement the KGB officers, as well as everyone else, straighten up making it very clear who gives off the most power and dominion in the room. I hope to have the same affect on people like the Soldier does in the future. As he approaches the front of the room, he takes his place next to Ivan. Turning my head back around to face Milgred, I notice she's playing with her food and biting her lip. Every now and then she glances up to look at the officers but then snaps her eyes back down to her plate. The only thing I can come up with on why she's acting this way is because the KGB officers are making her nervous, everyone's a little on edge since they've got here. But the way she's acting is making me think something else is up. Maybe she wasn't wiped completely, or she's done or seen something she wasn't suppose to. Whatever it is she's making it very obvious.

After a few minutes Ivan orders us to stand up and line up by the door since most of us have finished eating. The Soldier strides pass us and waits by the door giving me a chance to finally look at him properly without looking suspicious. He has bags under his eyes and his hair is a bit messy but other than that he looks alert and ready to follow orders.

The Soldier makes his way towards the front doors of the building and opens them, allowing all of the cold air to fill the room. The other officers follow us out but instead of going around the building to the clearing we line up right outside the doors, turning around to face Ivan and the other officers. A few officers make their way around us and stand beside the Soldier.