why do I have to prove to you that I'm hurting?
I'm sorry there isn't evidence of a fractured soul,
or of the words that fill my brain so much that it's begun to break,
And I'm not sure how long I can hold the cracks together,
I'm not sure how long my thoughts will stay behind my tongue because they've manifested into spoken word;
right now they keep coming up and so I continue to try and wash them down but it isn't working.
Nothing's working, my minds in overload and yet at the same time it isn't working fast enough.
My sleep is slipping right through my fingers washing onto the floor where I stumble and crash and eventually where I'll burn, because I won't last like this.
I know that I'm not top of the class
and I know I'm not the perfect anything
I know I make mistakes but everything's hurting
and soon I'll be numb again to the feeling and it'll continue to get worse
at this point I'm not even sure where any of this is going but when you tell me to be positive I know that it doesn't work.
Count from 10 you tell me.
10
My legs won't stop shaking.
9
My head splitting headache continues to get worse.
8
I can't see myself getting out of this.
7
The pressure on my chest has come back again.
6
The words I write on my essays make as much sense to me as my incoherent thoughts do.
5
You keep telling me things get better,
so when will this emptiness fill?
4
I'm losing it
3
The words will never make sense
2- I've given up counting to ten.
I'm sorry that I cannot prove that I feel these things and I'm sorry that I'll never be what you want me to be and I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... But I can't prove it to you so please take my word that I'm falling apart and that I need some time to make myself better.
