Playing The Player's Game (Book 1 In The Player Series)

Day Three of Visiting Home

"Quick. Come on JT. Run." Todd yelled as we both dashed down one of the trails behind my house. When we stopped for a breather, finally, he smiled over at me. "You're definitely getting faster." I nodded as I exhaled. "Im goin to the diner in town with Ace, you coming?" "Who else will be there?" "Just Ace and I." He shook his head and kicked at the ground. "Nah. Yall need to catch up. Plus I gotta call Stephen and stuff." I nodded yawning. "Yeah I know how he gets. Tell him I say hi." He nodded. "Sleep much?" He asked as I raised an eyebrow. "Has gotten better but not that good." I said as he nodded. "You?" I asked as he shrugged. "It isn't my or Stephen's or your house back in Cali. But it wasn't too bad." "Slade and Jordan didn't keep you up with their movie did they?" He shook his head. "I actually went and watched it when I couldn't sleep." I chuckled as he sighed. "Ready to head back?" I nodded as we sprinted back towards my house.

"Hey JT." "Hey Ace." "You staying or leaving?" He asked as I sighed and played with the menu in front of me. "Not sure. I wanna stay but I wanna go too. I loved it there more than I thought I would." "But you miss home?" I nodded. "Or do you miss Slade?" I sighed and looked out the window. Ace always knew me so well. Getting passed him was tough if not impossible. "I miss everyone. But im not the same. Neither are all of you." He nodded as I smiled sweetly. Our milkshakes came and then he began talking again. "We all know you've changed. It is as clear as day. You are different. And so are all of us. You've been gone for almost ten months. It is pretty hard not being different. We are all getting older and figuring ourselves out." I nodded as I sighed. "But do you think that time away has put strain on certain relationships?" I asked looking up at him. He shrugged. "Hard to tell. But it is obvious Todd likes you. Slade does too he just doesn't want to admit it. He went stone cold when you left. Barely talked to anyone. Went to party after party. Jordan pulled him out of his truck which he flipped, one night after a party. He almost died. Jordan showed him your picture and told him that you wouldn't want that life for him. He needed to straighten up so when you came back, he was better. And he did. I guess he didn't want to lose you so he straightened up. Now he sees that he could lose you to Todd." I sighed as I took it all in. Did Slade actually care about me? For ten months I thought he couldn't care less about me. For ten months I have wondered what I did to make him practically hate me. And the truth. We both went stone cold. We both hated each other and we both paid the price. The price was one another. I lost him and he lost me. Maybe we aren't meant to be.

After having breakfast with Ace, I went down back to my house and changed into a bikini. I swam and swam, clearing my head. I didn't care about the scars on my back and stomach and sides because they all knew. My father had put them there. My father had scarred me up. My father destroyed any image of fathers all around. But there are great guys out there who would never do what my father did and they are the real fathers, the real daddies, the real men. Slade still loved me. Todd would wait for me. I, however, couldn't do that to them. Slade had hurt me. I still bear the scars he left. Todd picked up the broken pieces and helped me tape them back together. Todd was there for me when Slade wasn't. Todd, I could always count on, Slade, I would always ear that he would leave me. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Follow my heart, Slade, or follow my head, Todd. The choice was mine to make but the question is do I want to make it? I didn't and don't want to hurt anyone but I can't do this any longer. And I also need to figure out if im going to stay or if im going to go.

My life has been a roller coaster ever since I was little. I never felt in control. I never felt like I could direct my own life and I hated it. Now at seventeen I have the most important decision of my life. It could impact me for the rest of my life. I don't want to look back years and years from now and think I made the wrong choice. I don't want regrets. I don't want to be held back. I want life. I want love. I want forever. And I know with Slade I would always wonder if forever was really going to last. Should I play it safe or live on the dangerous side of life again. The dangerous side is what sent me to California in the first place. Was I willing to give it up? Was I willing to make the right choice? Am I willing to lose a piece of myself?