I Can't Take Another Disappointment- Ben Bruce

When You Can't Sleep At Night

I sat with my laptop on my lap, curled up in the single seater with my glassed on and my hair thrown up into a messy bun.

It was tuesday night and Nikki was laying on the couch, Danny sitting on the floor against the lounge watching a CSI: Los Angeles re-run.

I was busy finishing off an essay for my diploma. My eyes were beginning to hurt and I decided to call it a night.

As I quickly checked my facebook, Danny turned to me with a smirk.

"What have you been doing on that thing all night? Secretly watching porn?" He grinned and I rolled my eyes, trying not to smile.

"Charming, Worsnop. Of course I am. I get a kick out of doingnit in front of people." I closed the lid and pulled the blanket around my shoulders, too comfy to walk to my room.

"Where's Ben at anyway? Did he leave?" I wondered as I yawned. Danny shrugged. "I think he was in Emily's room a while ago." I wondered what he was doing in there and reluctantly pulled myself out of the couch to walk down the hall.

As I approached Emily's room, I heard Ben talking and decided to stop in my tracks to listen.

"Meg and Mog. Seriously?" I heard him chuckle and rolled my eyes. Of course, it was her favorite book.

I listened to him read to her and her giggles turn into snores. As he read the familiar last line of the story, I opened her door quietly, sending Ben a tired smile.

He looked up and I watched him awkwardly rise from the bed and olace the story book on a small table. He walked over to me. "Thank you." I whispered to him as I flicked off the light and shut the door.

When I turned back to him, he was standly oddly close to me, looking me in the eye. I felt a chill run down my spine and ran s hand through my hair, avoiding his gaze.

"You look tired." He stated simply. I nodded. "Being up for hours doing a diploma will do that to you." I half smiled and finally looked up to meet his gaze.

For some strange reason, I felt an urge to kiss him. I knew that logically if I did, I'd regret it. I promised Emily that I'd dedicate my life to us, and making a good life for us. I didn't have time for dating boys, let alone rockstars like Ben Bruce.

"Want me to tuck you in, too?" Ben smirked and I laughed a little, shaking my head and beginning to walk to my room.

"I'm a big girl, but thanks." I winked at him and he smirked more, winking back. "Night, Ben."

"Night, Ash."

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"Ash? Wake up, would you!" I felt the ear buds being yanked from my ears as Danny's voice woke me up.

"What?" I blinked away the sleep in my eyes until I felt his hand grip my wrist and pull me out of bed.

Emily's cries reached my ears suddenly and I felt my heart clench with fear as I ran ahead of Danny and into her room.

The light was on and Ben and Nikki were sitting on her bed trying to calm her down. "Ashy!" Her voice croaked and I felt my heart sink as Nikki moved so I could take her place beside Emily.

I took her in my arms and pulled her onto my lap. She cried harder and I felt her tears wet my shirt.

As soon as I regained my strength and thoughts, I began singing to her.

"Here in this world, I'm awaked with mistakes, but it's love that's fueling me, fueling me. Pretty little lady with the swollen eyes, would you show them to me? I know I'm not that perfect but stay a while, maybe then you will see." I continued singing the familiar song, keeping my eyes closed, wishing that nobody else was around.

Emily stopped crying by the end of it and she hugged closer to me. I could feel the awkwardness in the air and the confusion. Nikki knew this all too well, but the boys didn't have a clue.

Eventually, Emmy looked up at me with puffy red eyes. "They died again, Ashy." She sniffled and I handed her a tissue. I held back tears like I did every time, showing her the stronger sister she needed.

I smiled. "It was just a dream, Emmy. They are healthy and happy in heaven watching over you." I lied. I didn't really believe there was a heaven, personally. I didn't have faith. Not since they died.

She nodded and wiped away a stray tear before I tucked her in again and kissed her forehead. Exhausted from the outburst of emotion, she fell asleep almost instantly.

I left the room and wandered into the kitchen where Nikki was fixing the boys a coffee each. As I came in, I felt all eyes on me and ushered the tears back again. I had to be strong.

"What happened?" Ben spoke up finally as Nikki sat the coffee mugs down.

"She has nightmares sometimes. That song is the only thing that calms her down." I spoke, my voice stronger than what it felt leaving my mouth.

"Nightmares of what?" Danny asked. I sat beside Nikki who placed a hand on my knee, squeezing it a little for reassurance.

"Of how our parents died." I said weaker now. "I should go back to bed." I whispered. So I stood and made my way down the hall. As I reached my room I heard footsteps coming after me. I didn't want anybody to see me, I could feel the tears over flowing now and it was too late to stop them.

A large hand rested on my shoulder and I wiped away tears as I turned to Ben. He pulled me in for a hug and I squeezed my eyes closed, wishing that I wasn't so weak. I had to be more collected and stronger for her, for them. It was just so hard.

I hadn't realised it but I was sobbing quietly into Ben's shirt, his arms wrapped warmly around me. He stroked along my back, sending chills down my spine, the good kind.

I pulled back suddenly, feeling myself slowly falling for him in the moment. "I'm sorry I got your shirt wet." I whispered. My gaze met his. His big eyes were a soft hazel that reminded me of melted chocolate. I could feel my heart beating a little quicker in my chest and my logic slipping away.

Without a word, he reached out and took my hand in his, leading me into my room. We layed down on my bed and I had butterflies. I wasn't sure of what was going to happen, but I felt reluctant to pull my hand from his.

"Ben, I-" He interupted me by pulling me closer to him. "You alright, love?" He asked in a soft voice. I simply nodded. "Go to sleep." He told me, his thumb tracing circled on my arm.

"Night, Ben."

"Night, Ash." I closed my eyes, feeling my conciousness slip away.