•That Wasn't The Plan• || Mikey Murphy Fanfiction

CHAPTER 18

A/N: It's been literal YEARS since I've written, so I'm sure you're surprised to hear from me. As usual, I can't sleep. Only difference is now I'm a college kid who can't sleep lmao. But HI AGAIN I MISS YOU GUYS honestly!!! Enjoy!!!

Is anyone still reading this story? I honestly don't know, and if not, I'm going to stop writing it.

Enjoy xo

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~Grace~

Asher leans back, and looks over at my phone. Mike's contact pops up, along with an adorable picture of him eating ice cream that I took when we were still together.

I knew I should've changed that.

"Mikey?" He says in an accusing tone. I sigh and put a hand on his chest reassuringly, "You already knew about this. I told you last night, I need to talk to him and be completely honest." Asher sighs and falls back on my bed. "Does that mean I need to leave now?" He pouts his bottom lip, and I laugh. "Yes, but I promise we can talk about what he says afterwards, okay?"

He nods, and I lean down and press my lips softly to his cheek. "You're the best, Ash." He grins, "I'm pretty great aren't I?" I laugh loudly, and he joins me. He sits up and kisses me, then sighs. "I'll get going, call me later alright?" I nod and he leaves, shutting my door softly. I look back to my phone, where Mike is still on the screen. I press answer.

"Hey." I say, I'm cautious. I'm just hoping that he doesn't confess his undying love for me, I don't know if I could handle it. "Hey, you alright? You sound a little off." I sigh, and decide to be completely honest. "I had a fight with Asher last night, and we just made up. It's all been so emotionally draining, you know?" He's silent for a moment, but then he speaks softly. "I'm going to be open here, so I'm trying to not be jealous over the fact that Asher can be there in person. I really wish I could talk to you face to face." I sigh, "Me too, M."

I realize quickly that I just called him by his nickname, but he doesn't seem to notice. "I guess you should start, I'm pretty sure of what you're going to say, but I need to make sure I won't hurt you with what I say."

I pause, but go for it. "Alright, here it goes. I really thought that we would be able to work even with all of the distance. Everyone reassured me that we'd be fine, that we're too good together to break up. But when that kind of pressure is put on you, it can be pretty daunting. Hell, even my parents were telling me that you and I were a perfect match."

I hesitate, and he responds softly. "We were a perfect match. Were." He doesn't say it as a question, but as a statement. I feel my heart wrench when I hear the sadness in his voice. He sighs, "Sorry, keep going. I didn't mean to interrupt." I take a breath and start again.

"For a while, we made it work. There isn't a time difference, but we live completely different lives. You're in LA, living the dream and making amazing content. I'm here, going to high school and trying to stay awake during class. Our schedules started to blur, and it seemed like when we actually got a chance to talk, it was forced. There were times I felt as if you didn't care about me anymore, and obviously that's not true, but I really could've used you lately. Asher has become that person for me, and even though my brain is screaming at me that he's not right for me, I can't deny he's been here through all of it."

"Grace-" His voice breaks, and he takes a shaky breath in an attempt to compose himself. I feel my stomach turn in discomfort, I hate making him upset. A smiling Michael is the most amazing Michael.

"I'm so sorry for that. I can't truly express how much I regret not being there for you. I never wanted us to drift this far apart, but I felt it too. There were times where I'd see a text from you and go back to whatever I was doing, telling myself that you could wait. But when that excuse is my only excuse, it's not okay. I'm so sorry for all of the times that I've hurt you. It was wrong for me to expect everything to stay the same, and to expect you to wait for me..."

I choke up a bit. "I did wait, M. I really did. I never intended to move on, but it's been months since I've seen you. But thank you for apologizing, to be completely honest, not hearing from you was what hurt the most. After all the crap my dad put me through..." I sigh. He knows what I mean. I've confided in him about my upbringing before. I take a breath and keep going. "It's just so hard you know? Knowing that you're having a good time, while I'm at my worst?"

The phone is silent for a minute. I hear him take a breath. "Words can't possible describe how much I miss you. It's like the air in my lungs has left me, like the stars don't shine as bright. It sounds cheesy, but I need you G. You're the thing that keeps me going."

Oh fuck.

He sighs. "I'm sorry, it's not okay of me to say those things when you're with Asher. It's not fair to either of you. You deserve to be happy, Grace. You're amazing, smart, beautiful, and so much more. And if Asher is the one who gets to see that, that's okay. I just want you to know that I still love you.

I still care, Grace. And if you want, only if you want, I'll fight for us. But if it's over, truly and completely over, then I won't get in the way of your happiness."

A single tear rolls down my cheek, and drops onto the floor. My next words come out a whisper, "I still love you too, Michael Murphy. But until you're willing to be completely devoted, I can't put myself through anymore hurt waiting for you. It's too hard..." I gulp and cough, and my voice returns. "There's plenty of girls who would be lucky to have you M, don't forget that I'm not the only one who deserves to be happy."

I hear him exhale harshly. "But I don't want them Grace. I don't care about any of them!" His voice raises, and he's almost yelling. "There's only one person I can see a future with, and-"

"Stop." I cut him off. "Don't finish that sentence. You can't say what you don't mean, you need to be able to prove it. Listen, I'm giving Asher a real chance. It's only fair, after all my pain he's helped with. I care about him a lot, Mike. So if there's anything I can tell you, it's to reflect. Take some time to really think about what you want. Figure out your time, plan things better. Find ways to be more consistent. But currently, right now," my voice breaks a little, "there's no way I can be with you."

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A/N: WOW it feels good to write again! I had this chapter in my drafts, so I finished up an ending for you, although I know y'all won't be the happiest... it'll all make sense in due time, I promise!! Anyways, I can't believe people still read this (I started the first one in 2015!) and it's nearly to 100k reads! PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS I LOVE READING THEM! Have a nice weekend xo

QOTD: How much pain did I put you through waiting for more content??