So I jumped.
The water was frigid, so bitter that my lungs had instantly seized up. I yelled silent tears, my breath leaving me as I reflexively breathed tightly from the cold.
I remember wishing I had snapped my neck on the ice instead.
Pain shot through my head, down my spine and into my chest. It wasn't the normal, burning pain that you would get whenever you've hurt yourself or something like that; this was like a glacier had rolled down onto your chest, and whatever you could try, you couldn't breathe, you couldn't move, all you could feel was hurt.
That was how I felt.
I couldn't remember anything after that, other than the fact that I felt like I had died.
It was unsettling, knowing that you were going to die and not being able to react.
I didn't like it.
I couldn't see anything, because it was night, and I was in the depths of a river in winter. But I remember how I could feel a different black, edging on blue, dark rainbow, creeping and flashing in the corners of my eyes.
That was Death. I realize it now.
It didn't go any further, though. It stayed at the sides of my vision, laughing at my pathetic attempt to try and kill myself. Pathetic.
I had felt Death, and then I had felt despair, crushing, more so than the water. I could feel tears burning in the corners of my eyes, surrounding the Death. Both dissolved in the water, though. It was weird, crying underwater. I didn't like that either.
Anyways. Despair. Shit like that.
Before I lost consciousness, I remember thinking something.
What have I done?
YOU ARE READING
The Memoirs of Theolon
FantasyGo away. I don't want you reading this. It wasn't meant for you. Frankly, it wasn't made for anyone else, either. I didn't write this for any sole purpose other than to keep myself sane during the millennia I spent deserted and alone. I wrote this...
