Midnight Flock

Chapter 9: The Guys

     My eyes fluttered open. The smell of sausage and bacon cooking had me salivating. My stomach rumbled due to not having eaten much since breakfast yesterday because of nerves. I lay still on my bed, assessing the noises and smells, which were not uncommon, just unexpected. The guys were subdued in their talking, I only got fragments here and there as they communicated to each other. There was music playing quietly in the background.

     There was a back to me that I was curled into. It was broad and muscular, topped with the short, russet hair that belonged to Nathan. By the rise and fall of his chest and the stillness with which he lay, it seemed that he was asleep. I could tell it was late morning by the slant of the sun through the windows. I'm surprised they let me sleep so late, though I was grateful. The arm draped over my waist tightened ever so slightly, letting me know the boy behind me was awake, and likely knew I was too. I could smell Gabriel's unique scent from behind and sent up a small prayer of thanks that it was these two I was alone with first.

     They were both on top of the covers while I still slept beneath them. They must have gotten up, completed their hours, showered and come back into my room to lay with me quietly. It was the best I'd slept in a few days. Even with Sean and Owen, I slept fitfully.

     "Trouble-" Gabriel breathed in a ragged breath behind me. "Sang, I'm so fucking sorry. I should have said something. I should have stopped this. How can you ever forgive us?" I could hear the tremble in his voice as he spoke quietly to me. My heart broke again. This was my Meanie. I could hear the agony and pain in every word he uttered. He was so in tune, emotionally, to everyone and everything; he was my sensitive artist. Gabriel liked to put on a tough guy act, but he was nothing but a gooey center of warm mush. I felt his body shake behind me and I couldn't stand it. He was hurting just as badly as I was.

     I rolled over and took his hands. The sorrow and regret was etched on his face, in his red, puffy eyes, the tears streaking his beautiful face. It was enough to bring me to tears. My pain was mirrored on his face. I pulled him to me in a tight embrace as we both cried. It was easier to forgive those that had less involvement in this scheme. But, I wasn't a fool. Forgiveness came easily, trust was something that was still shattered and couldn't be mended as easily. I held onto Gabriel, his arms winding tightly around me, crushing me to his chest. In that moment, I felt a piece of my heart come back into place. It wasn't as hard to breath any longer, I felt a tiny bit more like myself. We cried quietly in each other's arms for a while, holding each other close after the long days apart.

     Nathan shifted behind me, winding an arm around my waist and holding me close, burying his face in my hair. I felt his shuddered breath on my neck, my tears eased. I felt better after that release. I hadn't allowed myself to break apart before now, but I couldn't help it in their arms. I felt them both stretched along my body with a familiar stirring. I tapt down my urges, not ready to enter into that intimacy with them just yet.

     "Sang, I swear to you, I didn't know what they were doing until after our workout session. By the time I was aware of what was going on, it was already done. Believe me, I let them know exactly what I thought of their plan. I hated the idea of putting you in danger as much as the rest of the family, but I trusted that we would have made that decision together. The damage was already done, so Gabriel and I worked on convincing them this was wrong. We were trying to fix it before you became aware of it. We didn't want you to get hurt with the knowledge they were deceiving you, even if they were doing it out of some misguided notion that they were protecting you." Nathan squeezed me to him, taking another deep breath of my hair. "Gabe and I were about to go to Owen and Sean with this whole operation when we found out he already made arrangements for you to take the certification class. The guys were just talking about shutting down the operation, we didn't agree with how slowly they were moving. Owen must have had some suspicions when he went around us. I'm so sorry Sang, it was wrong, we hurt you and we can never undo the damage that's been wrought. I only hope it's not too late to fix things. I was a fool to think we could fix this without hurting you. I'll live the rest of my life with that regret." Nathan, my warrior, was breaking to pieces now. A second chunk of my heart clicked into place and the pain subsided slightly, my head cleared a little from the fog I'd been operating in since Friday. It eased my mind to know they weren't active participants in this deception. They were trying to fix it. They still didn't say anything fast enough for my liking, but they tried to make it right once they realized the full extent of the error. They were trying to protect me in their own way, protect me from the stupidity of their brothers.