Is a Dream Just a Dream?

Leaps and Bounds

Two weeks later

"Can you move your arm again Lindsey?" I've done this like twelve times already it's not getting any more miraculous. I close my eyes concentrating on the movement. After a deep breath I lift my arm about four inches off the bed, I lower it back slowly. Dr. Patel smiles happily making notes in my chart as she busies about the room. "You're family will be here this afternoon?" she does this every day. She asks me questions knowing the answers, and knowing I can't answer her. If I wasn't so lonely I'd be annoyed.

"You have such handsome boys, and such a stunning wife" she spends enough time on herself trying to look twenty years younger. And yes she is definitely beautiful no doubt about it. Too bad I'm in love with someone else...the nurse comes in and sets my bed to an angle sitting me up. She cleans my tracheotomy tube and changes my bags. If I wasn't depressed about being mostly paralyzed and mute having to piss and shit into bags would do the trick.

On top of my entirely liquid diet my unclipped finger and toe nails, and my patchy gray beard. I look homeless.

The door opens again and I jump for joy mentally. It's Stevie, she came back from Vegas last week and as soon as her plane landed she came to see me. It was late and Kristen and the boys were already gone. She pulled out the sofa sleeper and stayed with me all night. Telling me about her trip, she was also able to pull up Buckingham Nicks from the internet and played the album for me. It brought me to tears which she wiped away kissing my temple.

Today she's got another big bag with her on top of her usual bag and she sets it down in the chair next to my bed. "It's alright if I try and make him look human again isn't it?" Doctor Patel chuckles holding my chart as she adjusts my IV. "Certainly, I'll have the nurse come in and help you". Stevie and my nurse, Pam, set to work shaving, clipping, combing, and polishing me until I resemble myself again.

She pays attention to my cuts and scars gently brushing my hair out of my face and styling it for me. Once I'm "all pretty again" she sits next to me on the bed with a massive photo album. It's from our Rumors tour 77-78. Not exactly our happiest times together, but I still enjoy looking at us all from back then. Stevie loves nostalgia and romanticism so she gushes over each new picture telling me a little tid bit I didn't know about each instance.

I'd scowl if I could when I see pictures of her and Don Henley and I can tell she's less than happy with the pictures of me and Carol Ann. I try to show her how much I've improved since she's last seen me, and I lift my arm for her. She's overjoyed and for some reason I'm less annoyed when I show her my arm lift than when I have to show the doctors and nurses.

"You'll be back to being a guitar god in no time hon" I concentrate on her face, she looks tired. I'm not surprised, she's been here every day almost since I woke up. And before that she was here seven days a week. Closing my eyes I raise my arm again placing it on her knee, she grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles "Flirt". Maybe a little, but I just need to touch her to know that she's here with me. That she's not leaving anytime soon.

"You think you can smile for me?" my eyes close and I concentrate on getting the muscles on my face to move. I feel a slight twitch and she gasps "You got it Linds! You've been holding out" my chest tightens from the strain and I blink a few times. Her hand smooths down my cheek and the smile comes easier this time as I breath out slowly. "You should be working with a physical therapist every day not just once a week". Well talk to Kristen, she doesn't seem to think it's necessary.

She gets my other arm moving stretching and massaging my muscles. They're tense and tight, but she's undeterred in her mission. "In a few months you'll be swimming and jogging, and doing push ups on stage like nothing ever happened." I smile again and this time her kiss is on my lips. Of course Kristen picks that exact moment to pop in without the boys. Weird she never comes here without them, she has no real reason to. The loving, intimate part of our marriage has been long dead. We co-habitat out of convenience at this point.