Is a Dream Just a Dream?

Small Victories, Bigger Losses

"So how's Stevie? Haven't seen her in a while." It's been three weeks since my birthday. Since Stevie and I shared our first real kiss in over six months. Stan the man and I are making more progress with my speech, and beyond that he's got me writing again. It's on a white board with a sharpie. My handwriting, which was never good to begin with, looks like a kindergartener's. "Hav-nt se-een her". Stan gives me a sympathetic look. "For all the stuff I've read about you guys I figured yall had a pretty complex relationship". That's one way to put it. only it's pretty not complex at the moment. I want to see her, to tell her I love her, to tell her that Kristen is keeping me from her and I'm not ignoring her.

"So what happened...? If you don't mind me asking." What the hell? Not like I can tell anyone else. "Kkkristeen-and-he-r dd on't get along" shuffling a deck of cards for our next exercise Stan nods in understanding "I don't know any woman who'd be cool with their husband and his Ex being as cozy as you two are...but I gather it's more than that" he hands me the first card in the deck it's a cat.

"Ca-t. C.A.T" he nods and I take a sip from my water bottle "B-eeen aaa loot of his-torry betweeeen us" that's the understatement of the century. He pulls another card out handing it to me, it's a bird this time a chicken. Great a hard one "Chhi-cckee-nn C.H-I-C.K-E..N". It's around two in the afternoon, the boys will be at school for another hour or so, Will's got his art club after school and his web design group will be over to study. Kristen will be forced to behave around them.

The one thing I've decided not to do is involve the boys in our...struggle. Manipulation is Kristen's game not mine, and I've put them through enough already being in my condition and having to rely on them and others to care for me. I'll admit I knew my age would eventually become an impediment to raising my kids. I was fifty when Kristen got pregnant. I knew I'd be AARP age by the time Will graduated from high school. I didn't think I'd be in such bad shape though.

"So, I take it Stevie's making herself scarce then? Why not call her? Shoot her a text?" he waggles his eyebrows at me. I have a feeling Stan The Man is a player. Which for some reason makes me chuckle. Players only love you when they're playing. "Noo-ph-onne" he sighs handing me another card from the deck "Yeah, that might stop you from texting her". Bingo. This card is a truck "Tru-cck" I take another sip of water, then something dawns on me.

I reach over to my tray grabbing at the whiteboard and marker my hand shakes as I scrawl on it messily. Stan squints at my message attempting to decipher my near incomprehensible words "Cull 4 me?" I shake my head "C-aalll-herr f-orr-mee?" he laughs, then stops when he sees my serious expression. "You're serious? You want me to call Stevie Nicks?" No, I want you to call Karen who will call Stevie who will call you.

I scribble on the white board again and he reads "Karen, her assistant this is her number. Tell her k took my phone" he raises an eyebrow "who's K?" I guess I have to spell it out for him..."Kr-iisteen" his eyes go wide in shock and I suddenly feel awful for involving this guy in our shit. But I can't involve my kids and there's really no one else I trust who comes to see me. Stan looks down at his phone dialing "What the heck am I doing?". The phone rings three times and luckily Karen picks up, she sounds confused as she answers "Hello?".

"Hey, this is Stan Myers Lindsey's speech therapist. He told me to call you and say K took his phone tell Stevie" the line is quiet and Karen clears her throat "Lindsey wants me to tell Stevie that K took his phone?" yes Karen. Yes! Please for once take me seriously! "Your name is Stan?" Stan gives me a thumbs up "Yeah! Stan, tell her she owes me some lasagna". Sounding her usual mix of exasperated and amused whenever I call her she hangs up. Stan puts his phone away sighing.

"Well, I guess we'll have to see if this works" not twenty minutes later Stan's phone rings startling both of us. My heart races as he answers "Erm...hello" his eyes widen in shock "Holy shit it's Stevie Nicks on my phone!" he's whisper yelling at me. I can only hear half of the conversation but it sounds like Stevie's giving Stan some instructions. There's a lot of "uh huh" and "Okay" with long pauses in between. Satisfied Stan hangs up and smiles at me bumping my fist. "First, that's probably the coolest thing that's ever happened to me!"