Lost In The Stars: Anamnesis

Chapter 2: Reset

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

It doesn't stop beeping. It drops that sound every second, every tik of the tok, every. . .

. . .every heartbeat I make.

Beep.

It feels like the sound's synchronizing with the rhythm inside me. Bawat pagpintig, bawat pagtibok, ay sumasabay sa kung anumang ingay na naririnig ko.

It beeps, and beeps, and will beep until it's tired.

All I can see is dark while I'm closing my eyes. Natatakot akong imulat ang nga mata ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko kapag naimulat ko na 'to. Will I be shocked? Will I be  happy? Will I get excited?

I don't know.

It's because this feels like I'm inside my mother's womb. It feels like I don't know anything and everything outside this closed-eyes thoughts. I feel so blank. I feel nothing.

But I thought of the things that will happen when I open these eyes.

And that was the time where I inhaled the atmosphere.

I know I'm brave.

One. . .

Two. . .

Three. . .

White.

It was all white.

It feels like it's the first color I ever saw in my life. It feels like the first sight I made.

Until I made my first blink.

White.

White ceiling, white walls, white light, white couch, white --

White couch. There's someone on the white couch two meters away from me. Nagbabasa sya ng mga papeles, inaalam ang bawat detalye nito habang nakakunot ang noo. She breathes heavily.

It is Mom.

It is. . .Mom.

I roamed my sight in the surroundings, and then I saw that thing that beeps. It's a machine connected to me. Nakita ko din ang bag ng tubig na nakasabit sa metal stand. Napahawak ako sa steel bed railings habang pinipilit kong bumangon. And then everything that was connected and injected in me made a soft squeaking sound. Kahit masakit, pinipilit kong bumangon.

Mas malalim pa dun ang gusto kong ipahayag.

As I straighten up my back, I let myself noise a voice. It was the noise of pain I am feeling.

"Oh my gosh, sweetie." Mom swiftly assisted me as she hear the noises I made. "Finally. Gising ka na." Ani nya habang malapad ang ngiti sa kanyang mga labi. She slowly ran towards something on the wall. "Doc? My daughter's awake. Room 039." Sabi nya sa kung anumang bagay ang nakadikit sa puting ding-ding matapos nya itong pindutin.

"Mom?" I spoke softly and weakly. "Nasan ako?"

"Sweetie." She walked towards me while her eyes are ready to drop the tears. "Take a rest first. Parating na an doktor."

"Doktor? Bakit? Anong nangyari sakin?" I tried to make my voice louder, but it was still soft and weak.

I felt something in my head too.

Bandage.

It was rolled thickly in my head and I feel pain inside it.

Mom looked down for a sec, and then faced her worried features in me. "You were in an accident."