Crossing the Line

Chapter 13: The Proposal

One morning, as Tristan and I were coming back from our morning ride, Crystal was waiting by her car. She was looking directly at us as we rode up. She looked a bit nervous and started fidgeting with her thumbs. Tristan hopped off and I took his horse in the barn. I could see them from the crossties. Crystal asked him something and Tristan was hesitating. I stopped watching. I would ask Tristan later. When the horses were put up and fed, I spotted Tristan. He looked uneasy. I caught his eye and motioned to the tack room. He nodded. Once inside, he closed the door. He started pacing. I waited, but he didn’t say anything for a long time. The suspense was killing me, finally I broke down.

“What did she say Tristan?” I asked. He looked at the floor and stopped pacing.

“She proposed,” he mumbled. I was shocked and confused. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked at him.

“Proposed? Marriage?” I whispered. He nodded. “What did you say Tristan?” I asked hesitantly. He didn’t answer me right away.

“I said yes,” he whispered under his breath. I froze and stopped breathing. I felt like my heart was just ripped out. When I started to breathe again, I walked quickly out the door and to my car. I couldn't breath. It felt like my heart was in my throat. I sped off without a backwards glance. I ended up at my house and went inside. Crystal was sitting on the couch. She looked at me confused.

“Can you call in work for me? I feel sick and I forgot to tell them,” I explained quickly before I went up to me room. I didn’t want to deal with anyone yet. I packed a duffle bag with a few clothes as well as a blanket and a pillow. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew I wanted out of here.

I went down the stairs and out the door before any questions could be asked. I sped away. I didn’t know where I was going, but soon, I was parking my car on Lookout Point. It was a cliff overlooking the city. I turned the car off and sat back. It was only then that I allowed myself to cry. I cried for about two hours before I drove to my friend Kristen’s house. She answered the door and immediately let me in. I explained everything to her and cried again. She set up a pallid in her room for me. We watched movies until nightfall. I went straight to sleep. I was glad to have the day over with already.

I didn’t go to work for the next few days. Crystal, Tristan and Eric called me nonstop. I only answered Eric once to let him know that I was “sick”. After that, he only called to check in on me. His calls were the only ones I answered. I would wake up crying and out of breath often. Kristen comforted me when I would let her, but other than that, I talked to no one. I finally decided to check my voicemail. Crystal was wondering where I was and if I was feeling okay. Tristan wanted to talk about it.

After a week at Kristen’s house, I decided I should go back. I wasn’t ready, but I couldn’t hide forever. I showered and cleaned my face off before I drove home. After setting my stuff in my room, I dressed for work and headed there. It was already noon, so I got started on training the two year olds. When I was bringing the third one out of her stall, I heard a familiar voice beside me.

“Holly,” Tristan said softly. I ignored him and continued walking. He called my name again. I sighed and continued into arena. I closed the gate behind me and got to work. Tristan leaned against the gate.

“Holly, please talk to me,” he asked quietly. I stopped and looked at him. My face resembled one of defeat.

“Please, just leave me alone Tristan. I have work to do, and honestly, I don’t want to see you right now,” I said brokenly. He nodded and left me alone. I sighed and tried to continue my training but I couldn’t. I finally gave up and put the two year old back in her stall.

Frustrated with myself, I tacked up Mystic. I figured that Tristan already had his ride for the day and that it would be safe for me to go to the lake. I stayed there for about half an hour before I heard hoof beats. Immediately, I stood up and started untying Mystic. Tristan rode up and hopped off quickly. He stopped my hands and looked at me with his piercing blue eyes. I felt defeated. I looked down and slumped against the tree behind me.

“Please, just leave me alone Tristan,” I asked hoarsely. His fingers brushed my cheek. The electricity made me jump. He stepped closer.

“Holly, I was only trying to do what you asked me to. Then she asked and I freaked out, so I said yes. I was only trying to do what you asked me to,” he said softly. I looked at the ground and focused on breathing evenly. He kissed my forehead longer than he normally did. I closed my eyes and tried to keep my breathing even. I took a step back into the tree.

“I didn’t ask you to marry her. This was a bad idea from the start. I should’ve never let this happen. Tristan, this has to be over,” I whispered. He stepped closer and held my cheek.

“You don’t mean that. I know you don’t,” he said quietly. He was right. I loved him, and I didn’t want it to be over, but now he was engaged to my sister; that kind of put a damper on things. My breathing picked up as he continued to step closer until his body was pressed against mine. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. Tristan kissed my throat and my cheek. I exhaled loudly and tears ran down my face. I was torn. I wished I never started this, but at the same time, I still loved him.

“Please, don’t fight this. Don’t fight me,” he muttered against my cheek. My breathing picked up as tears continued to stream down my face. I pushed him back a bit and opened my eyes. Looking at him, I shook my head. My knees wobbled and I slid down against the tree. I sat and pushed my hair out of my face.

“You… we can’t Tristan,” I mumbled. I sighed brokenly. He stood and watched me. He shook his head.

“You don’t mean that,” he whispered. I nodded my head and put my head on my hands. He knelt beside me and brought my cheek up. His lips touched mine hesitantly then fiercely. He kissed me like I was about to disappear if he let go. Against my will, I kissed him back. The tears ran freely now. I was weak with Tristan; I knew I shouldn’t have let this happen, but I couldn’t help it.

He pulled away and searched my face for the slightest glimmer of hope. I finally broke. I sobbed and leaned into him. He held me protectively to him and comforted me. I gave in completely. He rocked me and told me that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to believe him, but so far, this wasn’t going as planned. If only it wasn’t illegal for me to see him; things would be so much simpler, and none of this would be happening right now. Tristan continued to comfort and kiss me. I think I finally passed out from exhaustion.