Queen of Nothing

24. Queen of Barely Holding It Together

"So the curse is real," Tristan said bitterly once we'd left the limits of Geismar. His anger hadn't abated since we left the garage, it only simmered beneath the surface, careful and controlled. His jaw was clenched tightly, white knuckled hands clutching the steering wheel, and every so often his eye would twitch.

As we pulled onto the highway, I realized that perhaps I shouldn't have let him drive.

"Yes," I replied with as much calmness as I could muster. "Sheridan's been hunting witches to find out who's responsible.

"Of course," he snapped. "And of course he wouldn't trust me with the truth. Nobody does." Those words sounded like they were directed at me in particular.

I understood his frustration, but his flippant attitude was starting to get on my nerves. "Look. I'm not the biggest fan of Sheridan after what he just did to me, but he was only trying to protect you."

"From what? Knowing how ruthless he really is? Christ, he let JC die for being an inconvenience to his plans. What else is he capable of?" he said. The question was rhetorical. We could both imagine the grisly extent of Sheridan's cruelty all too well. We drove in uncomfortable silence for a while before he deigned to speak again. "Are you sure it's not your 'friend' there?"

The sudden change of subject threw me, and it took a moment for me to realize what he meant. I shook my head vehemently. "No, it's not Daphne."

"Really? She seems capable of doing quite a bit of damage. A curse is probably nothing for her," Tristan said.

It was then that I realized he didn't know what the 'curse' actually was. I had the sudden urge to tell him, but there was no telling how he'd react. Especially in a moving car. "It's definitely not Daphne," I said instead. "She enlisted my help in protecting you."

Tristan shot me a confused look. "So what was the deal with Alexis then?"

I exhaled deeply. The real truth was bound to come out sooner or later. I didn't know what exactly Alexis had said to him at the restaurant, but I owed him to impart my side of the story.

"You have every right to hate me," I began. "I've never been fully honest with you, and I didn't always have the best of intentions towards you."

Tristan said nothing, but I could tell from the hard set of his jaw that he was not pleased.

"I came to New Orleans to become a vampire," I continued. "I befriended Alexis because I thought she would help me."

"Did she?" Tristan asked, his tone edged with venom.

I shook my head. "Alexis said that if I helped ruin your reputation, helped turn Sheridan against you, he wouldn't want to make you a vampire and turn her instead."

"And you went along with that?" Tristan asked incredulously.

"I haven't always been a good person. I've told you that before," I said with bitterness of my own. It had been easy for him to write off my crimes until they were directed at him.

Tristan pursed his lips. I half expected him to respond with some pithy comeback, but he remained silent. Sighing, I pressed on.

"Whatever happens next, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I used you. You didn't deserve it. But you have to know that my feelings for you weren't a lie," I said.

I didn't know why I bothered. He'd made his feelings clear hours ago. Perhaps there was some small, foolish part of me that thought our relationship could get through this. That perhaps, after he'd stopped and carried me when JC and his men were pursuing me, and the way he'd stood up for me during our capture meant he still cared. Perhaps he did. Perhaps his rage and resentment blinded him to his true feelings. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking on my part.