Blood, Fur, Fangs, And Love

Distance

"Louis... I, I think we just need to step back from this. I'm going to need some time."

\End of Flashback\

That was three weeks ago, when Harry was shot. And that was when he was told by me he was turning human, I thought he would have been happy. No, he did nothing about it. He didn't come back with me and stay for the skipping. I haven't seen or heard from Harry since then - of course I have skipped school these past weeks because nobody can tell me to go. Eleanor's parents haven't come home yet, they call to check in every day. Christina makes El go to school now though because she will never be able to stay young forever. It's miserable being alone, it's cold at night but not like you think. Harry only slept with me once and that was that day three weeks ago. It's cold inside of me, not being able to know he will be there when I call or need him. Not being able to feel the touch of his ice cold hands on my warm skin. He took everything from me.

It probably seems stupid and I'm probably acting like a love sick teenager. And I am, he left me the day he almost told me he loved me. I don't go any where because of him, I don't even dare leave the house for the fear of him is in me. I was wrong when I told Alana to be careful of Ronnie when I was looking past the problem. A part of me knew this would happen even if I try to think otherwise. Always saying to myself he's just thinking it over, he's coming back to me soon. Then when he does he'll admit his love for me and we win live forever together. Grow old and die just hours between each other, we would have a family. No it seems to all be a dream that didn't go right in the end. I have dropped many pounds since that day long ago.

Eleanor brings me food every morning but when she comes home from school or work it's cold sitting where it was. She cried the other day when I refused it and hid in my room, not coming out. I'm still in here today, her sobs stopped last night but started up when she awoke this morning. I weighed myself this morning, I'm down twenty pounds. My eyes and skin no longer glow like they used to. Instead I have bags under my eyes from sleepless nights and my skin has a grey look to it. I bet El would die if she saw what I've become. The thought of her going to school today pains me, because I know he's there. I've overheard her and Christina talking about him being there every day. It's like one of those bad dreams that you can't wake up from.

And that's why I'm here right now, in my bathroom with a razer in my hand. I cut not to deep to die but deep enough to feel something. I'd rather feel a different pain than the one I feel now. A physical pain is better than an emotional one. The cool metal is coated with the crimson liquid that flows from my wrist. Tears repeatedly fall and join the red dots on my bathroom floor, mixing together and becoming a lighter red. It looks like a water colour painting with many different shades of blood and salty tears mix. It paints the picture of my sad story that maybe some day will come to an end.

When the flow drys up, I start a new river of pain and tears. This time they paint a picture of my family that is gone to. But in it is the mop of curls I love, to someone it might seem like swirls of water soaked blood. The hardest part is the fact I had to wipe them away so they wouldn't stain. My family would see me as weak and hopeless. The fact that they aren't here help as much as hurt me. Therapy you were never a friend to me and still aren't....

.........

Sorry for the short chapter but I've been super busy and stuff.

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