Doubt That

Billy

I watched as she continued to fiddle with the strap of her top, her hair moving gently in the wind and whipping into her face occasionally.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" she said, sounding cautious.

"Go ahead."

"Do you still love her? Your ex?"

I pushed a small stone about the ground for a while before considering my answer.

"I do. She was my first real love."

She wrapped her arms around herself. Not from the cold, but from something much more sudden and certain.

"What is it?" I asked, hoping she would answer.

"Just thinking about my ex. He was where my heart belonged you know, he was like home. I always felt a bit too different, just not quite right before him, and now it's happening all over again. It doesn't matter that he was a dick, I don't care that he hurt me, because none of that matters does it. It's me that's left alone with a pile of shit to deal with, and I can't even be allowed to feel myself whilst doing it."

I understood her completley.

"That's the thing about love, it consumes you. It changes you. It even changes the way you see things. And when it's gone, the exact same thing happens."

I didn't really say this to help her, or to help me. It was just my honest opinion. It was nice to be able to be honest.

"You know what makes me smile..." she began, "the idea that if I can love the wrong person that much, just imagine how much I can love the right person."

Naomi smiled at me with her bright eyes, looking hopeful. Making me feel less cynical.

"Can I take you somewhere later?" I asked, surprised at my own confidence.

Naomi looked at her shoes, biting her lip as she made her decision.

"Where do you wann take me?" she asked.

"To a rooftop, at 2am, to talk about life."

"And to kill me I pressume."

"Oh I'm sure we could fit that in," I laughed hesitantly, then realised she was laughing too.

Connor arrived and asked us some mundain questions before opening the door. I worried that Naomi would then dismiss my offer but before going inside she nudged me.

"Take me to a rooftop at 2am so we can talk about life."

I smiled the biggest grin at her before walking inside after her.