I woke up as the birds began to chirp in the trees. I groaned as I felt my numb arm and stiff neck. It took me a moment to notice I was lying on my sofa. It took me even longer to realise that the arm across my stomach and the person spooning me was Adam. I turned ever so carefully, so I didn't fall off, and watched as he continued to sleep. His eyelashes flattered a lot when closed and every now and then his left eyebrow would twitch. He didn't seem to be aware of anything around him but his body still seemed tense even when asleep.
I got up and began making tea, watching Adam stir as the kettle boiled. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes and face.
"I forgot how uncomfortable that sofa is."
Adam smiled and walked over to me, wrapping his arms round me and pulling me into him. He kissed me on the forehead lightly.
"You're my best friend Rose. And I'll always love you."
I pulled away as I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. Adam wiped it with his rough hand.
"What's wrong?"
"Why do you love me?" I asked, shaking as I did so.
"It's hard to say..." Adam paused as more tears filled in my eyes.
"Why Rose? Speak to me."
"What was I like before the accident huh? Can you even remember? I don't. I have no idea who I am! Something has changed in me. It's like I lost who I was in the accident...and...and I can't get it back no matter what I do!"
"Things have changed forever."
"Yes I know that!" I screamed, pulling at my hair, "I know that nothing will ever be the same but I didn't expect to lose myself when I lost my sister. I don't know who I am anymore!"
Adam held my hand and stroked it gently.
"What you're feeling, that's okay. Your feelings are valid. You have every right to feel whatever emotion you want. You aren't being dramatic. You aren't over exaggerating. You're just feeling and that's okay. And as long as you keep feeling, as long as you don't shut out the world, you'll find yourself."
Adam pulled my face up to his, "let the people who love you show you who you are. Then you can find your own path."
YOU ARE READING
Doubt That
General Fiction"I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with me. My imagination terrifies me and I always get lost in my own thoughts. I talk to myself. I'm always running 'what if' scenarios through my head. I'm incredibly lazy. I live in la-la-land. I'm always h...
