hoping for something new - h.s.

four.

harry's pov

"harry! where the fuck were you?" i heard a familiar voice ask as i walked into a plain, white room. i looked up and i saw 4 other faces, louis, liam, niall and zayn's. they all had expressions of worry and confusion written across their faces. 

"i um... i was trying to find the washroom." i said rubbing my eyes. 

"while you were crying?" zayn asked. his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. all the guys stood there, waiting for me to say something. 

i was crying. it was because i saw cuts on luke's sister's hand, proving to me that she attempted suicide. she was so sad that he wanted to die. she hated her life that she was ready to give up her life. 

i bent down and let my elbows rest on my thighs. with hands to my face, tears brimming at the corners of my eyes. tears flowed down my face as if it was a waterfall. i cried. 

"harry?" i heard louis call out to me. "what the hell is going on?!" 

i didn't answer him but i just put my sweaty palms in the increase of my eyes and let them rest there. i heard people shuffling around but i just ignored it. sniffles became sobs as the realization hit me that someone who loved me, even though i never knew she existed, might actually die. 

a presence of another human being came up to me. 

"what's going on, harry?" a recognizable irish voice asked politely. "you can tell us what is upsetting you." 

sniffling and wiping my eyes dry, i managed to say a few words between sobs. 

"i was going to the bathroom... i saw a girl ... a sweatshirt that said 1D on it .... might die ... 'cause she attempted suicide." i whimpered, clearly heartbroken. 

the pain in my voice nearly scared me. i've never been this dedicated to anyone except the boys and my family. 

silence was death defying. it feel over the room like a blanket. 

though pain could be temporary, it still had a huge ego, and it always gets what it wants, no matter how much it hurt us. 

i barely heard niall say "uhh guys. lets just leave him alone." 

i felt 4 other pairs of eyes all staring at me. i ignored it while my sobs took over my hearing. 

******************

mandy's pov

my eyes automatically fluttered open. 

i looked around me only to notice i am still alive. 

i realize that i tried to kill myself, but i failed. just like i do at everything else. no wonder i hate myself so much. 

goddammit. 

i became aware of my surroundings very easily. i'm in another hospital room. a needle was stuck in my arm, giving me medicine that i didn't want. a monitor showed my heart rate, normal. an oxygen mask covered my face, feeding me more medicine. 

fuck no! i don't want to be a specimen to scientists who know nothing about my pain and my past. i don't want to be here on earth. 

i bet my mom is just crying at the thought of me dying for the thousandth time, probably talking my father out of just letting me die. "she needs mental help!" i bet she would say. but i don't want help. i want to be dead.  i bet she would say that she failed as mother. 

i bet my brother is terrified of me now. i bet his friends are too. 

i started to panic. i ripped off the oxygen mask. i want out. now. my breath became shorter by the second. the monitor started to beep faster with every breath i took. i pulled myself up to get myself out. nurses came in every direction. i quickly looked around to grab something sharp. i found a scalpel laying on a tray next to my bed. i grabbed it as fast as i could and i aimed it at myself. 

"LET ME GO!" i screamed, bursting into tears. "LET ME DIE!" 

in the corner of my eye i could see two tall men standing in the doorway. one screaming and pushing his way into the room. the other just standing there, silent and worried. 

the scalpel was still aimed at me when i heard my brother scream, "MANDY! NO!" as he crashed to his knees, crying hysterically. 

tears streamed down my face as nurses started to grab the scalpel out of my grip and put in a new oxygen mask, with what i'm assuming was laughing gas. 

"let go of me!!!" i cried. i wiggled my way out of the nurses' reach. i was not giving up without a fight. 

"stop!" i heard another voice say. the voice had a deep and masculine english accent to it. it clearly belonged to someone i knew.

harry fucking styles was in my hospital room. 

all heads turned toward harry's direction. my eyes grew big and my mouth popped open. 

"let go of her. clearly, she's been in enough pain already." he said sternly. it sent shivers down my body and right through me, the way he talked like that. 

shit! did he see me before now? i thought, noticing that i attempted to kill myself several hours earlier. 

the nurses let go but immediately focused their attention on harry. 

"what are you doing here?!"

"are you apart of this girl's family?" 

"you do realize you have no business here, correct?"

harry backed up, shocked and sad. 

i did nothing but stare, as did everyone else.