I arrived at the dorms with Namjoon by my side, each carrying two coffees. After he entered the dorm and headed to the kitchen, I headed straight to his room he shared with Tae. There were strangely two doors that led to the same room so I entered through the one that was already wide open. Tae was sitting on his bed, wrapped in two heavy blankets with his laptop in front of him.
"Hello Roxi-ah~"he smiles nudging his head a bit to welcome me in."I have everything set up so let's start watching!"
I tuck myself into one of the blankets and hand him is coffee while I drink my own. The drama was very interesting, Tae was so drawn into it even when he had said it was his third time watching it. We had finished about three episodes when he said something completely unrelated to what we were watching on his screen.
"Roxi-ah...I have to go on a trip next week."
"To where?"
"Daegu..."Tae answers."My parents really need to talk to me about something, but they won't tell me what. They seemed really serious over the phone."
"Ah...I'm pretty sure they aren't going to scold you or anything."I reassure, making him smile slightly."I bet they really miss you."
"Yeah...but I'm scared."Tae mumbles, his smile fading as he watched the drama with an empty stare."What if something terrible happened? What if one of my relatives passed away without me knowing? What if they need me back in Daegu for some strange reason? What if I need to quit being an idol because of what they need to talk to me about...I'm so scared Roxi-ah...I'm so scared I could cry..."
"Tae-oppa, you're just overreacting."I say, "Hey, look at me."
Tae turns his head, that was when I took notice of his glazed over eyes, there was a lump in his throat when he tried to swallow back a sob."I haven't seen my parents for nearly a year...and out of the blue they give me a call telling me I need to come to Daegu next week. No sooner. No later. I have no idea what's going on. I don't know what to do. They seemed too worried. The people who I was talking to through the phone...those people don't seem like the people who raised me..."
"Tae-oppa, look. I'm not saying this isn't important. I'm not saying that at all. All I'm saying is that you need to calm down. If your parents really love you, then they would respect your decisions. You're an adult now. They have no say in what you can and can't do."
"Don't you have parents?"Tae blurts, a bit louder,"Unlike you, mine don't live abroad. They live in the same country I do. They watch over what I do. I still listen to them out of respect. If they tell me I need to stop what I'm doing to come back home...My morals won't let me talk back...My parents still care about me...I know it. So I have no choice but to be there for them whenever they need me."
My words got caught in my throat. He was right. If whatever he's imagining happens, then he'll have no other choice but to go back to Daegu. If it were this sudden, then something terrible must have happened. His soft and delicate words were rashed with his slightly harsh tone that made me speechless. There wasn't anything else I could argue against him for. As long as there's these assumtions then there's no reason not to freak out. Tae's eye contact broke from mine when I looked at my hands, noticing how shakey they were as I looked on silently.
'Why am I like this?'
I held my tongue when I saw Tae's hand lay over mine, pausing the small quakes that ran through my arm. He held both my hands firmly in his own, bringing me to face him once more.
"You're scared too."he says, looking at my still hands that were in his grasp."Your hands were shaking."
I didn't answer and instead draw my hands away from him and sheilding them into my blanket, only to find them shake once more.
"Are you?"started Tae, pausing the ignored drama for a moment as he fully turned his body towards me when I in return focused on the blanket."Are you scared?"
I shook my head 'no' and formed my mouth into a silent straight line to avoid saying the exact opposite answer. Just as I shut my eyes, two hands cupped my face and the weight of the bed shifted over in front of me.
"Open you're eyes Roxi-ah...it's your turn to look at me."
Hesitantly, I open my eyes to see Tae smiling at me. The same smile he would give to anyone on any other usual day, except this time it didn't reach his eyes.
"Roxi-ah, I know you're strong. Admitting something never affects how strong you are, it only affects how courageous you really are."he says, rocking my head a bit as he spoke, "I'll ask you again, and be truthful this time. Are you scared?"
I looked straight at him, noticing features I've never noticed before. How there was a reoccuring sparkle in his eye, how his head rocked in rhythm to how he rocked mine side to side, and how his boxy smile was forced.
"Yeah...I am."
"Ah really?"he chuckled, releasing my head and sighing through his nose."That's a shame. Now I'm even more scared knowing that you're scared too."
He let out a short laugh before becoming neutral once more. His tongue swiped over his lips as he rested his cheek against his fist.
"Roxi-ah, remember when I accidentally got water all over you when you walked through my door instead of Namjoon's door a few months ago. That was about a few days after we hung out for the first time."
"Yeah, I remember."
"Well...do you remember the promise you made to me that day?"Tae asked.
"I...promised to stay by your side."I said, smiling once everything clicked.
Tae gave me another forced smile, "Right. You have really good memory."
There was a moment of silence before he went on, "Roxi-ah...can you please come to Daegu with me next week?"
"W-What?"I gasp."Daegu? Next week? Tae-oppa I have an MV film recording at the end of this week and promotions are soon!"
Tae didn't say anything, only sighing and blinking through his thoughts. I pause and think, if I could get the MV filming to begin earlier in the day then I would be able to get ready sooner. Promotion preparation would start on Wednesday morning of next week.
"What day do you need to be at Daegu and for how long are you going to be there?"I ask, trying to get some information before I accept or decline.
"Monday night, and I'll be leaving on Tuesday early in the morning."he replies, still thinking through everything himself."I'll just be having dinner with my parents so they can explain everything going on."
That fit right in the window of freetime I had. It was possible I could go, definantly. I turned to Tae, seeing him waiting for my answer as I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
"A promise is a promise I guess."
Tae's eyes widen with happiness and he jumps on his mattress before giving me a hug."Thank you Roxi-ah!"
I giggle quietly against his blanket and return his hug."No problem Tae-oppa."
