Way Back Into Love

Chapter 25

I've never felt this good with Belle.

Before, I would do anything not to be near her but after today, it's like the Belle I know doesn't even exist at all. As we spend hours of talking and laughing, I felt really close to her. I never knew this side of Belle. Aside from Jason, I too have seen the soft and fragile side of Belle Harrison.

"I went out with Chris once," she said while polishing her nails.

"Yeah. Everybody knows about that. Everybody knows what's going on about you."

"Really. So you know that he liked you back in high school?" She arched an eyebrow.

I almost spilled my nail polish, "What?"

"I thought everybody knows what's going on about me," she says with an amused grin on her face.

"Well.."

She sighed, "Those were rumors, Jane. I didn't sleep with Chris. We just went out for maybe a week. He always tell me to stop bothering you. He likes you but then you like Jason. And Chris has that fuckboy reputation before. And I know you hate those kind of boys."

"Then why did you date him? I mean, you know.."

"He's hot, Jane. I think you know that," she rolled her eyes. "But we never really did anything. He just wants to keep an eye on me, that's what he said."

"Right. Wow, I can't believe it. Why hadn't he told me?"

Belle shrugged, "Dunno. Maybe he's shy. But you know, if given a chance, I would have had sex with him before."

Of course, back in high school, Chris was a jerk but rumors also prove that he's good in bed.

"Uh-huh."

"Did you have sex with him?"

....

There was a long silence. Partly because I don't want anyone to know (but me) that I slept with Chris. Because that means cheating on Jason! I don't want to hurt him. He's my boyfriend. And Chris... He's..

"Oh my god," Belle had a  shocked expression on her face, "you gave it to him, did you?"

"Promise me not to tell anyone, Belle."

"I understand. I won't tell it to anyone. Cross my heart."

"Do you really?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Damn it, Roberts. Yes!"

"Good."

She asked me how we did it, what position etcetera. Even if I feel comfortable talking about it, I told her what happened.

It's not that normal, really. Everyone has to lose it anyway. I just didn't think that I'd lose it before marriage.

"Okay, last question. Do you love Chris?"

Woah, easy tiger. I don't even know what I feel about him.

"I...I don't know. Maybe?"

"What?! Honey, you should be sure of what you feel. You can't just give it to somebody."

"Chris is not just somebody."

"Then what is he?"

"He's my..."

It hadn't occurred to me what he is in my life. He's more than just a friend but he's also less than a lover. Honestly, I really don't know.

She sighed, "Girl, you have to figure out what he is to you."

But how can I figure it out?! My brain is good, yes. But I am no expert in love. Especially feelings.